Sometimes I over-reacted. So to try to fit in I would under-react.
In other words, the way I see it now years later: Living in denial, stuffing feelings and not being able to express myself, I would eventually explode with emotions. That was frowned upon in my foo.
So the exact polar opposite was to keep it all in and have no emotions or reaction. Peace at any price.
Grew up in it. Married into the same situation.
I have to express myself. Whatever it is, appropriately yes, but to be sure, not denied. The cost was myself. I was cut off from myself.
The cost is the people who still stay in the denial.
The payoff for being myself and expressing myself is others doing the same in recovery and healthy ways.
Changing is difficult and freeing. I am getting used to it.
Thanks, BR
