Struggling

[Twoapenny]

Tupp:

I'm thinking of you, and wishing you all the luck in the world for a new move, and wonderful school situation for your son.

lighter

Thank you, Lighter   It's a nice area, there's a lot to do and the school situation looks like the best thing I've seen for my son, I've only looked on paper so far and spoken to parents whose children go there, hoping to go and have a proper look around soon and fingers crossed we'll be booking a removal van

[Twoapenny]

Twoapenny,

Am reading a fascinating book by Marti Olsen titled, The Introvert Advantage.  How to survive in an Extrovert world. It is easy to read in that you can start anywhere in it and still identify with what she is saying or you can read front to back or back to front.  I am an introvert and have learned a lot about it here, but this book pulls it together in a way I had not been able to do.  BTW, my husband started reading this book on a visit to his son's family and was captivated by it since he is an extrovert married to an introvert.  He understands himself better and he certainly shows signs of knowing me better.  His son's family is made up of all introverts five of them.   I never knew before that we introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1.

tt <3

Thank you so much for that, TearTracks, I will get hold of a copy

Funnily enough my alter ego - the one who had to put on the brave face and survive - was very extroverted.  It's very odd, I feel like I've lived most of my life being someone I'm not and trying to get the real me out there into the real world is tough so that book will come in very handy, thank you.

I'm picking through John Bradshaw's 'Healing The Shame That Binds You' at the minute.  His sections about fantasy bonds and taking on the shame of your parents are really resonating with me.  I'm trying to work on his recovery programme.  His first suggestion is that you connect with people and be real with them so that you can find support.  I find that quite hard but it has made me realise that there are still people in my life who just won't be supportive and I really need to focus my time more on those who will.

[Twoapenny]

Hi all,

I thought I would update as things are getting better

For years now 'the paperwork' has literally dominated my life - not only because of the problems that it's caused but also because of the amount of space it takes up and the fact that I'm often working from a number of files which are spread out all around me.  As a result, our big table has been in use as a desk and we've eaten our meals either on our laps or at a little table in the kitchen.

But..........................so much of it is done now that I've been able to reclaim my table for meals, I've cleaned and re-arranged the sitting room so it actually feels like a nice place to sit rather than a large office and I should be able to start redecorating in the next couple of weeks which we need to do before we move out so that we give the house back to the landlord in the same condition we received it.

I am also trying really hard to connect with people (this is from John Bradshaw's book) and trying to accept that I'm not perfect, they're not perfect and that I can have imperfect relationships because I can put the brakes on if necessary and keep my boundaries in place.

I am trying hard to just focus on having more fun.  I've been so consumed with needing to be hard at work all the time because I felt it was the only way to avoid further problems.  So I'm trying harder now just to meet with people because I like spending time with them and just to start trying to live a bit more rather than just getting through the day.

The sun is shining, spring is really here in the UK now and fingers crossed things are improving

[BonesMS]

((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))