Relationship/s

[Phyll]

That is a great story Hops!  One I certainly can relate to with my ADD!  Those people helping you, that is wonderful. He sounds like a nice man. Have fun and enjoy!

[Hopalong]

Thanks, (((Phyll))).

I hope to just have fun too.
But he's got to slow it down or I'll exit.

Whew. He's still nice but I doubt we'll
become more than friends. Meanwhile,
nice to have a new one.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

This man still teaches me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efHo3nyBZns

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Feeling really good about something.
The nice man I met online with whom I've had two very pleasant dates...I just ended it very kindly while expressing sincere gratitude (over email).

The elementary thing was, we really don't have much in common. So despite his niceness, which is real, I managed to think ahead and just see, clear as day, how frustrating it would be to try to forge something (just out of mutual loneliness).

He responded SO nicely that it confirmed my sense of him, and also said he actually agrees with me. He even added "political differences" as a likely bridge too far. (I didn't remember discussing that but he probably noted my license plate. LOL!) And he left me with compliments ("beautiful" and "highly intelligent") which will keep my old ego purring for weeks. I said genuine and kind things about him too.

What felt good was trusting my intuition (wasn't looking forward to our next outing) and also realizing -- this is the right thing, for us both! Respecting both our time and energy enough to spare us a futile effort to fit.

This ole dog figgered out how to do a new trick. So then I went and wrote friendly messages to three new geezers. All in all, a good experience! Very good. Glad I met him, glad I felt good about saying farewell. And neither of us hurt or diminished.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Really good trick to learn, Hops.  I'm so glad to hear you're trusting and honoring your intuition. 

[Hopalong]

I was way too smug and self-congratulatory in my post about it. Gross. It was just a big relief.  I'd like to feel proud of myself without wallowing in self-praise, though.

Meanwhile, had a friendly chat with a nice guy who lives 4 hours away. I'm allergic to cats and he wouldn't "abandon" his for a relationship (I'd never dream of asking anyone to!). I told him if my cat allergy didn't defeat us the distance would and he agreed, but said it's "a shame." Kind of nice to enjoy a little chat without a goal, so I invited him to get in touch for a coffee if he comes through this way. That was it but it felt nice. Low key.

Very little traffic on the website now that I'm nearly 72 (older men are happy with and feel privileged to pursue younger women, I just would like to meet someone within a 5-year range either way). But meanwhile, there's nothing to stop me joining the very fancy new Senior Center and taking a few classes there and meeting some folks. I should and pretty soon, I will. Just been lazy about it.

Love's not much on my mind, as much as loneliness. Spring and summer aren't bad though. Fall/Winter are when I go into alone-forever-grief-fear mode. Not now.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Hmmmph.

Hops, you're setting the bar awfully high for yourself aren't you? I mean, how can you pat yourself on the back for a "job well done", if you DON'T congratulate yourself and maybe feel a bit proud or smug that you've achieved a new level of dealing with things? That's all part of the experience, isn't it? Enjoy the glow for a bit!!

But, if you're still bragging about this moment - as the "high point" of your relationship management style - in 6 years (or 6 months) THEN you may whack yourself with the 2x4 of self-criticism.

BTW, even in this situation the rule of thumb that it takes two to tango, still applies. It mighta gone very differently with another sort of "gennulman".

[lighter]

Ya....not smug....just mindfully celebrating new skills making life better.

It's something to feel good about😉

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Awww, y'aaaaaaaaall.

Thank you. A lot.

I'll burn that 2x4 in my firepit because....Never Ever Again!

Much thanks and grateful hugs,
Hops

[lighter]

How' ya doing today, Hops?  Any plans?
Lighter

[Hopalong]

I do have a plan, Lighter, and it fits a Relationship/s thread for sure.

Tomorrow there's a rescue dogs transport. I'd signed up to foster and have been thinking about it...so I jumped, and am picking up a female 5 y/o (barely "senior" but she qualifies) pooch at the local SPCA. She's just six pounds, which is perfect for my bad back and my assessment of what sort of dog is good for aging with.

Fingers crossed Pooch won't want to kill her (dunno) but if we can make it through the transition and they bond and it's workable, I'd love to keep her as my (sounds terrible) "overlap" dog. Pooch is 12 and slowing down, and hopefully she might love to have a companion to cuddle with in her own old age. When That Day comes for Pooch, I'd already be well settled with a little Newpooch.

All fantasy because there can be lots of issues. Her pic is adorable but she looks skinny and scared. From a kill shelter somewhere in the south (probably TX). We'll see how it goes, and I'm helping her transition to a forever home whether or not I'm the long-term one (or Pooch is). And it gets me recorded as an active foster, so if not this little one, perhaps a future one.

Will keep you posted! Thanks for checking and sorry to be so late to reply!

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

That update gave me goosebumps, Hops.  So nice of you to foster....and also pragmatic.

You go get that scared doggy and help her fEel safe.  I hope it goes well😊

[Hopalong]

So. Absolutely tiny 6-lb little newdog discovers Pooch's very comfy chenille on the foot of my bed and decides that's a good spot. Rather than going Cujo, justifiably, Pooch just gives me a little side-eye and decamps for one of her other beds. Hilarious! Peaceful!

The poor little newdog is absolutely HUNGRY. I can see and feel every rib and her spine is one long line of no-muscle. So very sad. (I'm guessing she should wind up at about 10 lbs.) But she's really sweet and has warmed up in her trusting amazingly over the last 4 hours. I've got to re-feed her very small amounts 4x/day.

I was most anxious about Pooch who has been positively hostessy with the mostessy, compared to what I was worrying about. I'm amazed. I reared a prima donna and she's become a saint!

I'm just feeling good inside. Think I needed an additional being to love and here she is. So far so good.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Amazing, Hops!! So glad pooch is on board and helping rather than mucking up the works.

I hope she doesn't regret her choices!

I love the idea of this new little spirit extending trust and receiving your tender care.  It's heartbreaking how devoted dogs want to be.

I'm going to dance about your happy story, Hops!  YES.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

My beloved Pooch is behaving like Florence Nightingpooch. I'm awed at her grace. She occasionally approaches for some personal bellyrubbing and reassuring (I explained she is the Queen of my universe and always will be, and Newgirl can be a princess if it all works out.)

Seriously, Pooch has surprised me (because she's dog-aggressive on leash). I think she's been lonely for a dog friend. When I talk to her (we have very detailed one-way conversations) about Newgirl, I swear she grasps a lot of it. I use a lot of simple terms and have said delightedly:

This is Pooch's puppy! Pooch has a puppy! Pooch has a new friend! (The latter is what I tell her every time a stranger comes to visit.) She's been a little confused but also wags her tail as those magic words. She just watches Newgirl and is peaceful.

Pooch at one time (before I adopted her) had puppies, they don't know how many litters. I felt that she carried sadness about them (it was recent as her teats were enlarged) and talked to her about that our first afternoon on the couch together. This may sound weird but I do believe in emotional communications with animals: I gently pinched her teats and said in absolute gentleness: I'm so sorry you lost your puppies. Pooch heaved a great sigh, and then relaxed. It was a powerful moment.

So, dunno exactly what will happen with these two, but they're coexisting very peacefully and Pooch seems quite careful around Newgirl's fragility. I've been emailing the foster team a few updates as Newgirl might have a respiratory problem, but it might be transient. I'll take her in for a checkup on Monday if she's not better. Otherwise, she's wagging her tail, follows me around.

She's so small and fragile (esp. with ribs sticking out) that I feel I'm living with a baby bird. She's just delicate. But very very sweet and I'm glad I fetched her.

Thanks for listening to all this!

hugs
Hops