Author Topic: Achievements  (Read 125 times)

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2019, 12:42:46 PM »
This made me feel better just reading what you all did! I'm afraid I havent been near so productive though.

Actually slept all night and woke up without an earache for first time in over a week. I think I'm on the mend!

Coffee and breakfast and online obsessing about politics (waving at Skep and Hops).

Texted my daughter back and forth about her trip here next week. This is the first time that she has come home on a trip that I havent had to work most of the time. Ever. We are going to art exhibits and out to dinner, and over to my son's and his boyfriends apartment for tacos. Then hanging out with other sons for rest of week. I am so looking forward to it and the planning was half the fun.

Pulled together my paperwork to send to leasing office for new apartment. Bright and early Monday morning, and hopefully no snafus, and it should be all squared away. Then spent some time planning room arrangement in new living room!

Made 2 veggie pizzas and chatted with son. Called other daughter and caught up on things (so nice to be talking again) and found homes with her for several items that won't fit into new apartment.

Grocery shop. It. Is. So. Hot. Outside.  Shlep groceries in and dirty laundry out.

Washed clothes but whole system went down before I could dry them. GRRRR. One of many reasons I am moving.

Piled wet clothes into car and drove to the other laundry center in complex. You could fry an egg in there

Now I'm drinking kombucha and try to cool down before I go get them --and then I am in for the night.

Did I pack? No. But no negative stuff. Only what I DID do, right?

CB

That sounds to me like you did a lot, CB!  And yep, what we did do, not what we didn't :)  And I think things like getting a good night's sleep count as achievements, because they're so beneficial to us (and sometimes so hard to achieve).  So I think that one is a biggie :) Do you know when you get in to your new apartment?  Glad you got the paperwork together and sorted out :) xx xx

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2019, 12:44:58 PM »
Organized the desktop files on my laptop!! wooo hooo less clutter. It's crazy that technology is another place that can get cluttered.

Also got my emails from 600 down to about 25. Now that I am starting to get important emails for once might as well clean it.

Went for a walk at night looked at stars was nice.

That's brilliant, G, it amazes me how cluttered technology can get.  Sometimes I think it's worse than regular clutter, because it's less obvious - 600 letters stacked up in your sitting room would have hit a bin quite some time ago but when it's on the computer I think we notice it less.  I dread to think how many I have on mine!

I love looking at the stars :) xx xx

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #17 on: August 13, 2019, 12:59:28 PM »
I think my main achievement over the last week has been that I've started to focus on myself more, and started working more on accepting myself as I am, rather than criticising myself for not being who I think I should be.

Some examples are:

I'm not as fit and healthy and energy filled as I used to be.  I've stopped berating myself for this.  I'm doing the best I can, and looking after myself the best I can.  I cancelled an outing today because I was tired - this is a good thing, rather than me forcing myself along with gallons of coffee and feeling even worse tomorrow.

My coping mechanisms are not healthy ones (see the above comment re coffee!).  So I've written a list of my unhealthy coping habits and then another list of healthier ones to try to replace them with.  So instead of forcing myself through the day today, I have had a nice bath, napped, meditated and done some yoga.  My achievement is that I practised self care rather than forcing myself through the day and berating myself for not being able to do it :)

I do feel that I've managed to switch from focusing on friends who don't call to friends who do.  It's really important to me to do that, and to recognise that my online friends (you guys) are just as important as real life friends - in some ways more, because I share more with you guys than I do with anyone else.  Again, it's about shifting from what I think I should have or be doing, to focusing on what I'm actually doing and what I actually have.  That feels like a big switch for me.

I have followed the acupuncturist's advice and written some affirmations.  They are simple ones and I am finding that, if my brain is going into a negative whirl unnecessarily, refocusing on some positives about myself (I am a loving and creative individual.  I am building a support network for my son.  I am open to healthy and loving relationships) is helping me knock the unnecessary negativity out of the way.  I am still not a fan of Law of Attraction/Mindfulness/your thoughts create your reality and so on, largely because, as I think we've talked about on here before, I feel in some cases it's used as victim blaming and just glosses over some very deep seated and serious issues.  I do wonder if it's been Westernized and if aspects of deep introspection and self knowledge practised in other cultures have been reduced to something that fits into a meme or a slogan on a T shirt (I have the same issue with yoga classes that focus on the mat and the leggings rather than the calming aspects and health creating movements!).  But anyway, I'm digressing, my achievement is that I'm picking out the bits that work for me and help and leaving behind the bits that don't.

I have moved away from worrying endlessly about son's educational situation.  I'm going to keep chipping away at things a bit at a time and try to focus on what I learn along the way rather than having an end result in mind and then being disappointed when that doesn't happen.  I think perhaps that's been my biggest problem with this move - in my head I saw son off at college, me back at work, socialising a lot, meeting a new man, visiting beautiful places, switching this horror house for a nice little cottage by the sea.  And because that isn't what's happened, it's really knocked me.  So I'm trying to focus more on what I'm doing, here and now, and not keeping on having a picture in my mind of what I think ought to be happening.  That feels like an achievement of sorts.

So a funny mixture, a bit vague, I suppose, as they're things that aren't as easy for me to measure as getting the house clean or cutting the grass.  But I feel like I'm in a pretty good place in myself right now.  I think that's an achievement as well!  Lol xx xx

Hopalong

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #18 on: August 13, 2019, 02:29:40 PM »
I think this is wonderful, Tupp.

I wonder if you could recast those statements, not as "affirmations" (which carries woo-woo baggage about doing it "right" or being "wrong") -- but just as Truths.

Because they are. You're not making up those witless "The Secret" or "law of attraction" affirmations of unreality:
Every day in every way I am getting better and better!
I am full of wealth and abundance!
I thrive in perfect health!
I love everyone and everyone loves me!

Those are just manipulative bullshit, imo.

The examples you created are simply Positive Truths. Facts, actually. And it can only be a good thing to remind yourself of those. I admire you for it and believe it's a great idea.

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #19 on: August 13, 2019, 07:47:55 PM »
Oh my.... releasing those expectations for where we thought we'd be, and what we thought we'd be doing, Tupp.

Yessssssss.

It's a gripping story, and can take up so much of our time, and focus... but it's just another story.

Those stories are rabbit holes, IME.  All of them.

Lighter

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2019, 05:14:37 AM »
I think this is wonderful, Tupp.

I wonder if you could recast those statements, not as "affirmations" (which carries woo-woo baggage about doing it "right" or being "wrong") -- but just as Truths.

Because they are. You're not making up those witless "The Secret" or "law of attraction" affirmations of unreality:
Every day in every way I am getting better and better!
I am full of wealth and abundance!
I thrive in perfect health!
I love everyone and everyone loves me!

Those are just manipulative bullshit, imo.

The examples you created are simply Positive Truths. Facts, actually. And it can only be a good thing to remind yourself of those. I admire you for it and believe it's a great idea.

Hugs
Hops

'Truths' works well for me, Hops, I have re-named as of now!  Works much better for me than 'Affirmations'; there's just too much about the whole Law Of Attraction thing that jars with me so 'Truths' works better for me.  Interestingly it is doing virtually nothing helpful today; I feel very ill (seem to be getting flu like symptoms at the end of my period now - not sure if that's a menopause thing but will look into it).  And interestingly I'm finding that my bad mood is very firmly stuck in place no matter what else I do or think.  I just want to be in bed with someone bringing me food every couple of hours :)  But not too much to do today and then I can go to bed - will just have to sort my own food out :)  Lol, 'Truths' works for me, thanks for the idea! :) xx

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2019, 05:17:11 AM »
Oh my.... releasing those expectations for where we thought we'd be, and what we thought we'd be doing, Tupp.

Yessssssss.

It's a gripping story, and can take up so much of our time, and focus... but it's just another story.

Those stories are rabbit holes, IME.  All of them.

Lighter

It is, isn't it?  I've done it my whole life - always wanted to be doing something other than what I was doing, the one exception being University.  Loved it and wish I could have stayed there forever.  It's like a world within a world.  So much nicer than this one :)  But yes, focus on where we are and what we're doing, rather than what we think we should be doing.  Because of not being good enough?  Or because of the Western culture of consuming/achieving/status and so on (Western culture is on my mind a lot at the moment, I'm not really sure why). xx

Hopalong

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2019, 01:01:36 PM »
Even though they're not helping today, ((((Tupp))), don't give up on regular contemplation of your positive Truths.

The practice is cumulative, not instant. Don't measure it by any day, just over time.

Any time you need some more positive truths about yourself, say the word! I've got a hundred.

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #23 on: August 14, 2019, 07:03:57 PM »
Sorry you're feeling down, Tupp.

Maybe keep healthy snacks by the bed.... nuts, good water, dried fruit, and shuffle into the kitchen for oatmeal, canned soup, whatever easy thing feels comforting to heat. 

It's OK to have down time. 

BTW did you have a chance to look at the link Hops left on the HAPPINESS thread?

I watched it today, and it's been so helpful today.  I play it in the background, and notice how much better I feel when I manage to practice sitting or walking meditations, which isn't easy, or as often as I strive for.  It's just such a relief when I do.  I'm shocked I don't do it more often, and I discussed just that with T today

I think it's the pull of hypervigilance makes it so difficult to shift focus, and BE PRESENT.... it's like pulling myself out of very sticky taffy.  There's a part of me that doesn't feel safe.... if I go inside and really LOOK at what's going on,  I identify the feeling, and what's beneath just shows up, usually in a flood of emotion, and I feel.....
One more down..... It's a victory, really, and I wish my habits would shift already!

I hope you feel better soon, Tupp. 

::sending you a cool refreshing breeze blowing through you::.

Lighter



Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #24 on: August 17, 2019, 10:49:37 AM »
Sorry you're feeling down, Tupp.

Maybe keep healthy snacks by the bed.... nuts, good water, dried fruit, and shuffle into the kitchen for oatmeal, canned soup, whatever easy thing feels comforting to heat. 

It's OK to have down time. 

BTW did you have a chance to look at the link Hops left on the HAPPINESS thread?

I watched it today, and it's been so helpful today.  I play it in the background, and notice how much better I feel when I manage to practice sitting or walking meditations, which isn't easy, or as often as I strive for.  It's just such a relief when I do.  I'm shocked I don't do it more often, and I discussed just that with T today

I think it's the pull of hypervigilance makes it so difficult to shift focus, and BE PRESENT.... it's like pulling myself out of very sticky taffy.  There's a part of me that doesn't feel safe.... if I go inside and really LOOK at what's going on,  I identify the feeling, and what's beneath just shows up, usually in a flood of emotion, and I feel.....
One more down..... It's a victory, really, and I wish my habits would shift already!

I hope you feel better soon, Tupp. 

::sending you a cool refreshing breeze blowing through you::.

Lighter

Thanks, Lighter, I do feel better now :)  I think it's still hormonal problems; slowly working through it all but it is improving.  Just takes time to sift out the different threads, try different things, see what helps and what doesn't, and so on.  Getting there!  In a good hormonal phase at the minute and taking advantage of it by getting on with things, and will try to get in to see the acupuncturist during the next 'down' cycle to see if he can treat that as it happens (which would be great!).

Have tackled several files today, sorting through, taking out unnecessary paperwork and shredding it, re-organising what's left so it's easier to find and is in a more logical order.  That felt good.  Not being able to find things (indeed, just not knowing where things are) makes me feel stressed so it's dealt with a deal of that and that's good.

Read my emails after ignoring them for about ten days, I think.  Mostly junk, one from a social worker which did set off an immediate reaction when I read it, but not before, which is in itself an improvement.  Felt angry and frustrated almost instantly but calmed down quickly and have a plan in place now to deal with the situation (which isn't urgent and can just go on the to do list).

Tried a new tactic of motivating myself which was, "If we were moving house next week, what would I do today?".  For some reason that really focused me, even though we are most definitely not moving house next week, nor any time soon!  It's weird how you can kind of trick your own brain into working better?  Odd.  But anyway, for whatever reason, it worked, and instead of having a whole page of things to do today, I honed it down to absolute basics of food/take son out/yoga/take a nap/do paperwork/clean house.  And it's kind of worked!  I've organised a lot of paperwork today and I feel better for doing that (plus it will make what I do next easier and quicker).  I've cleaned and tidied as I go, just little bits and pieces as I saw them but the house feels more organised and less cluttered as well.  Funny how tricking yourself can be a good thing sometimes! Lol xx

lighter

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #25 on: August 18, 2019, 04:17:20 PM »
Tupp:

Brain doc said we burn through vitamin D like crazy when under stress, and it's difficult to build back up.  You've been under a lot of stress for many years.  Please make sure you have a good water soluble Vit D supplement as you likely have a deficiency.  Both my girls and I have that problem. 

Vit D deficiency messes with our hormones. 

I'm glad you're feeling better, and knocking out tasks: )

Lighter



Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2019, 03:03:01 AM »
Even though they're not helping today, ((((Tupp))), don't give up on regular contemplation of your positive Truths.

The practice is cumulative, not instant. Don't measure it by any day, just over time.

Any time you need some more positive truths about yourself, say the word! I've got a hundred.

Hugs
Hops

Thanks, Hops!  That is kind of you :)  I'm finding they're changing daily at the moment.  Today it is "I am loving myself the best way I can".  Yesterday it was "I am ready to embrace communal living.  I am ready to meet my soul mate.  I am ready to make a lot of money".  The day before that it was, "I am doing the best I can with this shitty life I'm forced to live".  I think it's really important to me that there's no devil whispering, "Bullshit" in my ear, which is what I find happens if I say things like, "I love myself unconditionally".  I don't, so I know I'm lying to myself and it makes me feel shaky.  So focusing on actual truths and realities works better for me.  And the more I think about things like this, the more certain I feel that it's actions that create reality, not thoughts.  Whether they're my actions or someone else's, that's what creates reality around us.  I don't believe that you can always change the way you feel about something, or react to it.  Some things you can, and some things you can work at, but our emotions are there for a reason.  Fear is there to protect you.  I know it becomes a problem when you remain afraid once the threat has gone, but in the first instance it's there to stimulate your fight or flight response, to keep you safe.  Instinct is a really interesting one for me, because my instincts are really strong, as is the 'vibe' I pick up from other people - and I ignore it so much of the time!  Isn't that weird?  I don't think instinct would count as a thought?  Because it's from deeper inside somewhere, quite often I can't verbalise the way I feel, I just feel something's bad or off.  I might then think about the feeling and try to work out whether it's a heightened response so I suppose that becomes thought but the feeling is there first, I think.

Anyway - that was my morning pondering!  I hope you're feeling better now that you've had your monitor off and can get in the pool with ease :) xx

Twoapenny

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #27 on: August 19, 2019, 03:04:49 AM »
Tupp:

Brain doc said we burn through vitamin D like crazy when under stress, and it's difficult to build back up.  You've been under a lot of stress for many years.  Please make sure you have a good water soluble Vit D supplement as you likely have a deficiency.  Both my girls and I have that problem. 

Vit D deficiency messes with our hormones. 

I'm glad you're feeling better, and knocking out tasks: )

Lighter

Thanks, Lighter, I will look into it!  I had a day of knocking out tasks and then yesterday felt very tired and ill, so my achievement for yesterday was to let myself rest :) And to cook a nice dinner even though I didn't feel like it :) xx xx

Hopalong

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #28 on: August 19, 2019, 01:03:14 PM »
Quick one as I'm off to see T -- something that made an impression on me when I was hypnotized. The subconscious absorbs everything it's exposed to and isn't a good grammarian. So if you want to practice pondering positive Truths, design them without negative modifiers. Example would be no less honest than your initial one, but more helpful to the deep mind. So, instead of:

"I am doing the best I can with this shitty life I'm forced to live".

It'd be something like:

I'm doing the best I can with my present life.

Keep 'em coming, Tupp. You are amazing.

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Garbanzo

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Re: Achievements
« Reply #29 on: August 20, 2019, 11:18:50 PM »
Hahahahah :   I'm laughing at your affirmation Hops.   

"I am doing the best I can with this shitty life I'm forced to live".

Some weeks I feel like I get more done and others I feel that I get less done. This was a less week. Distracted and not able to get  enough restful sleep and concentration going.