Health Updates

[Hopalong]

If anybody's bored by tediously detailed medical stuff, I'm not hurt if you don't read!

Cardiologist is great. Overall, I just feel good that this doc is so clear, focused and ready to find answers. It was empowering to get the test done, although the results weren't precise (enough to ease my worries, anyway). The stress test was "one abnormality, not exactly normal, but I'd say 'low-risk'" was his description.

I had three choices: 1) Stop worrying about it and exercise anyway, watching for increased chest pain/SOB or shortness of breath. 2) Go on one or two of several Rx --nitro, diuretic, maybe a beta blocker (ugh, I hate lots of Rx) to see if they "make me feel better" -- which would be nice but not diagnostic. 3) Get a couple more tests (an Echo and a PET). The PET would prove definitively what the sole abnormality in the stress test could be (he thinks it might've just be a flawed image) and, more importantly, whether I have microvascular disease or blockage/s in the small vessels. I forget the fancy term for it.

We discussed and opted for #3, because it would be the most definitive, and knowing for sure what the deal is would be most helpful to me. I felt so relieved at his level of interest and empowered by forging ahead for clear information. I think it's going to be okay but it's not a Yes/No or black/white kind of situation quite yet. I'm okay with that because this is a good path. And with his rep, I'm in great hands.

Next tests are June and September, and I'll see him again in November. Progress!

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

I've bored everyone into a coma, or y'all are experiencing SPRING!

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Hi, Hops.  I think option 3 sounds like the best choice too.  Sounds like the doc had good news and I'm hoping there's more good news after to follow.

I was on the road yesterday for 4 hours, made 10 moss arrangements, spent 6 hours at a celebration of life then went back to lake house to choose finishes for newly installed hallway atat bottom of stairs....my wonderful BIL is amazing at this sort of thing.

I love working with him but he does math with me.....and math is not my strong suit.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

That's LIVING. You're just always doing it! I'm awed and awakened by y'all.

My T observed that Npooch (newpooch) might be actually good for me because I have to tend to her so much. It's true. Feels hectic but I can't space out ALL day, to get her outside every two hours, fed every four, etc. I'm up by 6am and getting to sleep better at night as I'm so tired.

I do worry about Pooch, who has basically retreated to a corner of the couch and still seems sad about all this. No aggression, but I'm feeling a lot of guilt. I may stick to "foster" status to ensure that Npooch is adopted before winter. My patio has been a lake for two days and it's the best place to let her out (steep stairs on other side). I can't imagine how to get her to pee outdoors in snow or real cold or ice.

Hmmm. Hope the summer proves we can make it as a 3-"person" family but if it doesn't, I won't give up on a senior addition. Just would love one housebroken.

Happy to hear a VESMB voice today, Lighter, and the sound of your progress.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Had the final PET stress test of my heart. (More intensive than the other one, requires a standard CT first, then 2 radioisotope injections, waiting period for it to perfuse through the heart...then the vasodilator whale-blowing chemical to "force" exercise...two periods of 15 minutes still as a stone in the doughnut...a 45 minute period in between...I'm sure I have the sequence confused but it took 4 hours from arrival. Twice as long as the previous "non-PET" scan, it was quite draining but went fine. I made a flower bouquet out of the sticky electrodes and stuck them all over a water bottle to thank the nurses.

Funny moment--at one point after I started whale-blowing, the doc comes up to my head and starts asking, how is this? how is that? and I said "[gasp] I can talk OR breathe..." and she melted away saying, "Don't talk..." If I could've, Iwould've laughed.

The results are that I do have microvascular heart disease (small-vessel, mild at this stage). May need to go on a beta blocker. The disease does reduce longevity but all the good things, exercise, diet, etc etc -- can only help.

I sent him a bunch of followup questions and know that my anxiety is a big obstacle. If it doesn't make me fall down (my BP has traditionally always run low so I'm surprised he suggested it), a beta blocker at night might help with both insomnia and anxiety. Only one way to find out. Told him I was willing to try it.

Just taking all this in and hoping. Just...hoping. Dunno. Today it's sunny and I have a date later, so hard to be too upset. I've known for ages there was something wrong. As ever, I'm most worried about winter. Alone with cold, darkness and fear.

(Will yak about the date on the Relationships thread, just for fun.)

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Hops;

I'm  glad you got your results back and they aren't pointing to a serious and dire condition..... thank God.

Have fun on your date.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

I hope it's not. People with this diagnosis on average die 8-9 years sooner.
In this chapter, that does feel fairly dire to me. Callllmmmmm, Hops.

But the challenge is what it is, regardless of the fear I feel (of heart attack, mainly...as that's what can result) -- my job is to adapt (it's just new news today, feel a bit rocky) and stay grownup and cope and proactively plan what I need.

I have reached out for support and will plan daily contacts as best I can. I know that helps, it's just complicated. Continuing to volunteer for vtv.org feels good -- I just submitted our application to co-teach a course through their continuing ed program, which is very successful -- multiple University-level courses taught by all sorts of bright people. Most students are engaged, active retirees. Our course would be fairly simple but include a lot of research on health measures, isolation, obstacles, etc to Aging in Place. Just 3 classes but if they accept us (me and the Pres.) they'll be a satisfying challenge. I wrote most of the application and Pres (becoming a friend, I think) loved it.

A friend sent around an email to about five congregant-friends to ask for "sitters" to be with her a couple hours each day after difficult surgery, and I jumped on a time I can do it. That felt good too.

Hanging in, thanks for listening--
hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

And...
my chest hurts and
I feel scared.

[Twoapenny]

And...
my chest hurts and
I feel scared.

((((((((((((Hopsie)))))))))))))))))  Please call an ambulance.  Chest pain needs checking out, especially in light of your test results (I'm sorry you got that news).  If it's anxiety then they can tell you that and that alone will probably ease it off.  If it isn't, they can do whatever needs to be done to improve the situation.  Please don't sit with it, on your own.  I'm sure one of your church friends or neighbours can pop in to check on Pooch.  And please let us know what's happening when you can xx

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Hops,

Please give us an update when you are able.  Thinking of you...

Richard

[Hopalong]

Thank you (((((Tupp)))) and (((((Doc G)))))).

I know all the advice is to call an ambulance but if I did that every time it happened I'd be in the emergency room twice a month, on average.

It's true a heart attack may fell me at some point but for now, the best thing I can do is be still, rest and let it ease. It will likely do that after some sleep. It's chronic and thus difficult to manage realistically, but I will be going on some new Rx, and that may take the edge off it.

Staying calm and focusing on releasing the outcome is the best I can do, I think. I have reached out for more social support and for those who can handle it, sharing how I feel. I will adapt; it's just new-news that really is hard to take in.

People take in worse news every day and many deal with health threats far worse (and with far more courage).

I am very grateful I can just vent and express and if need be complain here. Fear isn't pretty or popular and I absolutely hate it. Investigating anxiety meds as well, which might be a good idea.

Thank you again for your kindness.

love,
Hops

[lighter]

::whispering;;

A little corner of an ativan might just do the trick.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Thanks, (((Lighter))). Your comment prompted me to read up on benzos and angina and indeed, they're a rational backup. I had a diazepam Rx years back that's turned into blue crumbles (I'm verrrrry cautious about abuse) so I just wrote my lovely GP explaining why I'd like a fresh Rx.

I'm not depressed and antidepressants are associated with cardio mortalities, but anxiety on its own is also a risk factor. Better to be Rx-prepared for that separately. Hopefully it's just spiked in the short term as I adjust to a new reality. I think so.

Good thinking, and thank you!

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Thank you so much, CB.
Metropol is the beta blocker and I pick it up tomorrow.

I did also ask my GP for a benzo Rx, but my intention is only to use that when chest pain flares.

If the symptoms ease up it'll be a lot easier to begin refocusing on health choices in the present. And stop being too focused on fear (of heart attack). Etc. Don't wanna goooo!

I really appreciate your post, it helps a lot.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Oddly, I've had increased tachycardia (esp. mornings or when bending over) since going on it. And new chest pains at night. I think it may just be my body's adaptation to the new Rx. No panic, just going through it.

I did write a note to the clinic nurse in case this is something they need to know.

I'll put the other update on the mental health thread.

hugs
Hops