I hear you, Bettyanne.
That generation produced some very damaged women, that's for sure.
My mother was born in 1910, and had such survival, self-focused instincts at ALL times. She just wasn't able to tune into the emotional needs of a child.
They lived through the Dust Bowl, the Depression and World War II. And god knows what went on in their families. Plus the everyday, total, life-is-built-on-this sexism that kept most out of the workforce and those who did work, emotionally divided between their children and their money-earning. Which meant freedom from the yoke. But a lot of them, like your mother, chose one or the other. Self and freedom versus home and children. I'm so sorry you got one who chose the direction that hurt you most.
That doesn't excuse anything about either my mother or yours, but it might explain some of it. Almost random luck, when I think about it.
Before Rosie the Riveter and Betty Friedan. That generation of women had to walk on razor blades to psychically survive, and even if they did, their children absorbed the toxic runoff and bitterness and even in some cases violence.
I keep thinking that today, I can at least vent all I want, call out the male-dominated world all I want. But back then, it'd probably have brought me beatings.
I hope you have a chance to know that YOU didn't abuse or neglect YOUR children. That way, you really have broken this painful generational cycle!
They still speak to you, care about you. That's actually a huge accomplishment given the forces that were bearing down on families and parenting then.
BRAVO to you, BettyAnne! You have done more than you know, I think.
hugs
Hops
