Author Topic: What's New for 2021?  (Read 30809 times)

sKePTiKal

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1065 on: February 28, 2021, 01:26:53 PM »
Let me know if you need ideas Tupp - I've lived a lot of different places in my life, and have 30 years of experiences with growing to share, as needed. But I'd encourage you to follow the will o' wisp of your own curiosity/interests and do the reading/videos/television shows instead of listening to what I'm interested in. LOLOL. Make your own path, choose your own interests - discover if those are going to become passions or not.

There is such a broad and deep pool of opportunities and topics within the overall category, that no one person ever can hold all the skills & expertise within themselves.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1066 on: March 04, 2021, 05:22:26 AM »
Thank you, all!  You're all a huge help, as always :)  I feel a lot better than I did this time last week.  It just feels like I've finally been able to say goodbye to my old life and, although I do feel sadness and regret, I feel more hopeful that the future might be better.  I think I've found the lack of hope very difficult to deal with but that seems to be adjusting itself.  I'm just trying, for now, to focus more on what I can do with each thing that brings me a bit more pleasure or makes things feel a bit better.  Can I bake bread instead of buying it wrapped in plastic, can I replace this zip instead of abandoning the garment, can I plant this in a pot as I don't have a veggie patch.  Just little things but it's helping.  Although, Hopsie, there is a sheep farm near us and I really want to go up there now and see if I can teach them to tap dance :)  Wouldn't that just be so cute.  Lol.

Today is birthday preparations for son; I've got lots of presents to wrap, decorations to put up, I've bought him a box set we can settle in to in the afternoon and he wants pizza delivery for tea which I will enjoy very much!  Cake is purchased and we've got party games to play.  Looking forward to it.  Odd to remember that this time last year we were getting ready for a night out with his friends with no idea that Covid was around the corner.

My mum has sent him a birthday card.  It is a perfectly nice, normal card.  For the first time, there are no nasty messages or cryptic notes in there, just 'Happy Birthday' and nothing else.  It kind of annoyed me more than if she'd done something nasty because it shows she is perfectly capable of just being normal.  I feel kind of frustrated on her behalf because she's missed out on so much with him, and with me - and she's achieved nothing from it.  She hasn't benefited from anything she did, in fact I'd say it probably harmed her in some ways as well.  Anyway - I won't be doing anything, I've asked son if he wants a card from her and he said yes so I'll give it to him tomorrow.  I just feel sad that she's given up so much and done so much harm for absolutely no reason at all.  Silly woman.

In other news, I was looking online for things to go and do locally once we can get out again, and found a whole webpage full of groups and activities for adults with learning disabilities.  I was gobsmacked - between college, social services, the local occupational health team and other parents I was under the impression that once college finished, it was a day centre or nothing.  There's loads going on, not all of it local and I dare say once I start checking it out there will be things that he's the wrong age for or there will be a funding criteria to it, but there's certainly a lot to look into and it looks much more positive than I thought.  I've also been keeping an eye on rent costs and although they seem to be going up in our current area, they seem to be going down in some of the other smaller towns in the county.  I'm still bidding on local authority places as well so I think if I just keep decluttering and keep saving that sooner or later either we'll get a local authority place or we'll be able to afford a bigger place than the one we have just now.  It feels a lot more hopeful than it did. xx

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1067 on: March 04, 2021, 08:00:47 AM »
That's amazing about that webpage, Tupp! I can just imagine the flood of relief and hope. Bravo!

H
C
J?

And about lower rents in quieter areas. That's cool too. I'm so glad you're feeling hope and your heart opening up to life again. Seeing the good or good-enough.

BRAVO, you. Remember, this year is the time for the cause of YOU.

big hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1068 on: March 04, 2021, 11:01:39 AM »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1069 on: March 05, 2021, 10:32:19 AM »
Hopsie, that video is hilarious :)  Lol, who knew sheep could be so talented?!  Thank you for putting it up, it did make me laugh :)

Well, I am continuing with my baby steps.  Had a veggie box delivered, all local and seasonal, along with milk from a local farm in proper glass bottles.  It is more expensive than the supermarket and that's always my 'ugh' sort of moment but it's much better environmentally, it isn't covered in plastic, it tastes a lot better and it's forced me to dig through my recipe books and cast about online for recipes so that I use it all up.  It's a good step in the right direction and it should make it easier to eat healthier as well so that's a tick.  The elderly chap near me gave me a couple of planters for the front garden as he doesn't need them so I can get started on planting some more things up, and I'm going to head to the garden centre early one morning next week and get some herbs for the indoor sills (it's still a bit frosty in the mornings so I think indoors is still best for now).  I cleared out the shed and a whole load of stuff has been picked up for recycling this morning so that's another bit of space for us.

Son's birthday is today :)  He liked his presents, he's had lots of cards plus his favourite meals and birthday cake and he and cat are currently curled up together reading his new book so all is well.  We went for a walk this morning and the forecast for the next few days is dry so hopefully we can get out a bit more.  I've had almost no reaction to my jab at all; little bit sore on my arm this morning but barely noticeable.  I am trying not to get too much into fantasy planning because it does distract me from getting on with making things a bit better in the here and now. I feel calmer than I have been lately which is good.  We've got sparklers to play with in the garden once it gets dark and I found a thing online about turning an old washing machine drum into a fire burner for the garden so if I get that sorted out at some point that may well be where all the paperwork ends up :)  Lol xx

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1070 on: March 05, 2021, 10:51:25 AM »
Outstanding!

So pleased you'll be able to grow things.
A few marigolds and then a line of spinach or chard or other greens? They'd be really happy in a long planter box and save you money as well as taste better than anything from a shop. (You'll just have to keep your sheep out of them.)

About the milk. Dunno if you like kefir but it's fantastic. If you put out a notice that you'd like some milk-kefir grains, most people who grow their own love to share it, free. (The most heavenly beverage ever is a tablespoon of maple syrup in a glass of milk kefir. It's phenomenal for immunity as well, has hundreds of probiotic strains as opposed to the two or three in store-bought yogurt.) Takes seconds a day to make and tend.

Nothing heals the soul like a bit o' dirt.

What a nice image, your son happily enjoying his cards and new book. Bravo!

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1071 on: March 06, 2021, 10:52:24 PM »
Amen to making a paperwork fire pit, Tupp.

So glad d's had a nice birthday.  I haven't said this in a while, but....
You're a really great Mom.

Lighter


Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1072 on: March 07, 2021, 09:21:31 AM »
Thanks, Hopsie, I hadn't tried kefir, it's been suggested before but it sounded like a bit of a faff?  Is it not?  Yep, planter would be good for something like spinach.  Neighbour has some more plants for me as he's redone his own garden and has a few he doesn't need so I'll go round and get those later.

Thank you, Lighter, right back at ya!  We're getting there :)

Not much else to report.  I'm trying to notice and let it go, and to structure my day a bit more.  One thing I have noticed is the number of people who want to do something asap (ie, when it suits them) and I'm losing count of the number of times I keep explaining to people I'm busy with son all day so I can do evening - which I find most others don't want because it's their time with partner.  It's always been like that but I think I'm just more aware of it at the moment.  It will change over time if I keep stating evening is better, I hope.  House is looking reasonably okay.  I've been prepping and chopping veggies so everything is ready to use and (hopefully) nothing will get wasted.  I've done a bulk order for things I use a lot of (vinegar and lemon juice for cleaning, for example, and loo rolls!).  And a bigger online grocery order so that I can just do a big shop once a month or so and then get the veggie box delivered.  One trip to the butcher should be enough each week and they open at 6.30am so I can go as soon as I get up and miss the crowds.  Hopefully over time it will become more streamlined, I'll have less plastic waste and it should work out cheaper in the long run as well.  It's very cold again here at the minute but it's dry and the days are getting longer so that's something.  Schools reopen tomorrow.  A friend of mine is spending today testing hundreds of students which apparently has to be done twice a week for as long as is necessary - lot of extra work and is in addition to having to teach in class and online simultaneously, which they are having to do because the classes have been split (to allow the distancing) and some kids will have to work from home due to isolating.  It sounds like a lot to do for all of them.  Just waiting now to see how things go over the next few months and see whether things start opening up a bit more xx

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1073 on: March 07, 2021, 01:43:46 PM »
Well I will be giving elderly neighbour a wide berth from now on :(

I haven't been round to see him for ages, partly because we've been locked down so we're not supposed to be in each other's houses but also because I have felt uncomfortable, as I've mentioned before.  I do struggle to work out whether I'm over sensitive and just expect the worst from people but I've just been round to collect some plants he had for me and stopped in for a coffee.  He told me that he'd seen an 'unsavoury' looking man visit the house next door the day before and shortly afterwards, heard the lady who lives there screaming.  He said it went quiet, then started up again and he didn't know whether he ought to call the police or not.  I was already feeling disbelieving as the lady's house is as close to mine as it is his so I'd have heard screaming, and I didn't.  He then said the man left - he can't see their front door from his house and the part he's on is a cul-de-sac so anyone walking away from the next door house would go in the opposite direction, so he wouldn't have been able to see anyone coming or going unless he went and stood outside her house.  He then went on to say that he went to check on her and she told him it was nothing to worry about, she was having kinky sex and that's why she was screaming.

I think I am in danger of becoming a misandrist.  I am getting to the point where I just don't want to speak to men (and I apologise, Dr G, I wouldn't include you in that and I know many men are good, kind souls so I know I'm being prejudicial!).  But it just turned my stomach.  This lady he's talking about is a really lovely single parent.  She has two young children who are just the cutest kids you could meet, her younger brother also lives with her - I don't know the whole story but there is a big age gap and he was going to be taken into care so she took him.  She's a brilliant parent, very kind and loving, she's very sweet natured and just generally lovely and to hear him say that about her - there's absolutely no way it's true and I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.  She'd be mortified if she knew.  Why do 'some' men do that?  I've honestly, in my entire life, never been in a situation with a woman I barely know where she's said anything at all about sex, in any context.  Urgh.

Anyway.  Avoidance from now on, I'll buy my own blooming plants.  Roll on a new house somewhere else, preferably without any neighbours (or only nice neighbours, I'll have to find a way to check before we move).  Fortunately I'd eaten before I went round there because I think that would have put me off my dinner!

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1074 on: March 07, 2021, 03:17:48 PM »
UGH.

It's very weird, the way some (often old) men feel free to have their semi-pornographic fantasies OUT LOUD, and then impose them on kindly younger women, who've been raised to be "nice" (which means to listen patiently, no matter how gross he gets).

Double ugh. I'm sorry you were subjected to that. Makes all the more sense why he's not a sweet abandoned gentle old man, but a sicko who's likely alientated everyone he might have kept in his life.

Really happy to hear you're no longer volunteering to fill a gap in his life. He dug it and he can tend it. It's sad to be old and alone but sometimes it's well deserved.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1075 on: March 07, 2021, 07:06:58 PM »
He's a creep, Tupp.

You're still amazing. 

Focus on that part, maybe.

And all the wonderful things you'll do this Spring.

It's Spring!

Lighter


Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1076 on: March 08, 2021, 01:46:54 AM »
Thanks, both, and yes to all of that!  It's not a problem, I just finished my coffee and left but ewwww!  I just don't get the way some people behave.  If/when I'm elderly/alone/stuck indoors a lot etc (two out of three already lol) I'd be so glad to have people knocking the door, popping round for coffee, checking in on me.  I can't imagine the mindset of someone who'd rather get their sixty seconds of kicks (and quite honestly if that nice lady next door does get some mind blowing sex I'd be delighted for her!) than have people pop in regularly and just have that human contact.  People are weird.  It's funny, but when he'd said he had some plants for me and for me to pop round to get them I felt like I was being manipulated (I've got something for you, you have to come fetch it - and of course you'd stay for a cuppa, it would be rude to grab and run).  But I brushed it off as me being cynical/ungrateful/over thinking and all the rest of it.  Trouble is I don't want to be suspicious of everyone and always assume the worst - that would be a horrible way to live.  I guess the balance is to keep some distance and let people show they're good eggs before getting any more involved.  Urgh.  Anyway - the plants are nice and they do brighten the place up.  I might plant a nice row of Venus FlyTraps along the boundary as a visual symbol :)  Lol, or triffids?  That might be an idea.  I'll have to train the sheep in hand to hand combat as well as the tap dancing :) xx

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1077 on: March 09, 2021, 10:22:21 AM »
Son's bedroom furniture is ordered.  Tomorrow we will dismantle bed unit (which I'm hoping to rehome locally), wash walls, shampoo carpet, clean and move the furniture that is staying.  New bed and mattress are being delivered on Thursday so he should be tucked up in his new bed Thursday night.  Wardrobe and desk are coming later on which gives me time to do the walls and carpet on that side of the room a little bit later (bit less work to do in one go).  New blinds as well, to replace the curtains that we made out of his old clothes when he was little!  Aw.  Might rework them into a throw or a cover for his TV table or something.  No doubt as soon as that is all done we'll find out we're moving lol.  And best news!  His jab is booked for Saturday :)  I hadn't realised how tense I've been about this whole thing until we got that appointment through - the relief of knowing his risk will reduce and keep reducing is huge.  Happy dancing going on over here.  All is good :)

Hopalong

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1078 on: March 09, 2021, 07:12:54 PM »
Rattledy tap, rattledy clack, tappity tap tap....

Me and sheep all lined up, joining your happy dance!

It's really nice to think of son enjoying his bright, better new room.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: What's New for 2021?
« Reply #1079 on: March 11, 2021, 10:32:03 AM »
Thank you, Hops and sheep :)  Lol.

Son's room is a bloody nightmare.  Delivery is to the doorstep at the moment, for obvious reasons, so I lugged two large boxes full of bed parts in on my own, having dismantled his old bed last night (it was a combination high sleeper bed, wardrobe, desk and bookcase so it's heavy and cumbersome and I had to lug each part downstairs - it's now all stacked in the sitting room waiting to be rehoused).  Fifteen minutes later the delivery guys came back because they'd delivered the wrong bed so I had to lug it back out and then lug the right bed back in.  We've taken it up a couple of sections at a time to build and I'm quite good at flat pack but this has the worst set of instructions and the greatest number of similar parts that I've ever done, so it's taken all day and I just realised I've done one bit the wrong way round and the only way to change it is to undo lots of bits to get to it.  I've also realised that, because the room is so small and such a stupid shape that with the bed in, the desk I had ordered for him won't fit where I planned to put it, and if I put it in the only other available space then we won't be able to open the wardrobe doors fully so he can't get to his clothes easily.  It's a pain in the bum.  Most of his stuff is currently piled up on my bed and the sitting room is full of packaging (which I won't throw away until the whole bed is put together in case it needs to be returned, plus his old bed and mattress, plus my bulk buy stuff which arrived today as well.  We literally cannot swing a cat.

It has made me realise that trying to make this house more comfortable and homely is just wasting time and money and I ought to put my efforts into getting us a new place.  I feel like I am polishing a turd :)  And, as you mention with your moment of clarity with M, Hopsie, I feel I've had a similar clarity here and, whatever we do now, we need more space and that has to be the priority.  So I've cancelled the order for son's new desk, we'll carry on with his old one for now and we can replace it when we move somewhere bigger.

I couldn't find the shampoo attachments to do the carpet, again because it's so small, everything's stacked in boxes and I couldn't find the box with the bits in it.  I did write a list of what was in which box but I can't find that either so I am going to have a cup of tea, go back and finish that bed, clear the rubbish out of the lounge, get my bed cleared and we are having a takeaway because I'm not cooking on top of all that! Lol xx