What's New for 2020?

[Twoapenny]

Well done, Tupp.

And... my T said we build energy/ego as the day progresses.  It's good to begin with meditation and taking breaks, to breathe and refocus, is a good idea too.

Lighter

It's good advice, Lighter.  I'm trying to start the day in a quiet and calm way. Laundry on, then back to bed with my tea and book for half an hour.  Get dressed, have breakfast, feed the cat, feed the birds.  Sort son's meds, take assorted vitamins. Son's usually up by then so breakfast again with him, by that time the laundry's ready to go out on the line.  It's a change from my normal routine of waking up exhausted and mainlining coffee whilst rushing around getting ready for the day and shouting at son to hurry up.  Hoping to keep the new routine in place.

I've continued to research communes and - I'm going off the idea   Ha ha.  I still like the principle of sharing space with people but I've found myself thinking more and more about how difficult it might be for son if there are always other people around and how tolerant/compassionate others might be towards his disabilities over a long period of time.  He makes noises and motions that he has no control over.  Many things need to be done in a particular way to avoid stressing him out and many, many things annoy him.  I'm not sure that other people will be as accommodating to him as I am.  There are communities where you have  your own flat and then share spaces but at the moment most of the ones I've found require you to buy the property.  One rents them, but the area in which it is is not capturing my imagination.  I haven't discounted the idea entirely - I'll continue to read and visit places once it's safe to do so.  There is an organisation that loans money to people setting up communities, for the purchase of property.  I'm wondering if at some point I could buy a large property - or maybe even an unused shop or put - and convert it into small flats with shared areas specifically to rent to people in similar situations to ours.  There are schemes like that already but they're run through local authorities and I don't like the authority involvement.  It's something to ponder, but in the meantime I'm also browsing possible new homes on the internet.

I think practically we could be ready to move in about six months time.  I've done a lot of cleaning and clearing out during the lockdown so if I keep on top of it the actual physical pack up and go could be done in two weeks.  Financially, I reckon we could have enough saved by next Jan, assuming the pressure of Covid doesn't get to me and I start ordering takeaways every night and spending all my money on online shopping Feels nice to have it in sight but not feel pressured by it.

[Twoapenny]

More decluttering over the weekend.  Son has agreed to part with some of his old toys so we've freed up a bit more space in his room.  I'm going to buy a cheap, slimline bookcase for the alcove in his bedroom.  His large storage unit (which now has a lot less on it) can then come downstairs and I can put the TV on it and the table the TV currently sits on can go out into the garden.  The chairs that go with it can go out into the shed for now, which is next on my list of things to tidy out and organise.  I've moved a tall, slimline CD tower from the kitchen to the top of the stairs and the difference it's made is huge.  It must be something to do with the way your brain processes space because it's a small unit, no more than a few inches square, so physically it takes up very little floor space.  But having the space next to the kitchen door empty now has made the kitchen feel much bigger and for some reason putting it at the top of the stairs has made the landing feel more spacious?  i don't know how that works because there's more there now, not less, but for reason it feels bigger.  Our minds must play tricks on us like that.

[CB123]

I know exactly what you mean about the space, Tupp. I'm making a conscious decision to keep areas empty and it feels very good.  I have a single upright chair on one wall in my room and I am resisting filling the space around it. I enjoy looking at it with nothing on it or crammed next to it. I'm trying to create more spaces like that.

I enjoy hearing about how you are making your space work. Today was a day for digging in my files and I would like to say here and now that it was NO FUN. But it was filed and everything orderly and I was able to do taxes with minimum (not zero) angst.

What are you hearing about your area opening up? I follow BBC on facebook so I have a general idea from that.

CB

[Twoapenny]

I know exactly what you mean about the space, Tupp. I'm making a conscious decision to keep areas empty and it feels very good.  I have a single upright chair on one wall in my room and I am resisting filling the space around it. I enjoy looking at it with nothing on it or crammed next to it. I'm trying to create more spaces like that.

I enjoy hearing about how you are making your space work. Today was a day for digging in my files and I would like to say here and now that it was NO FUN. But it was filed and everything orderly and I was able to do taxes with minimum (not zero) angst.

What are you hearing about your area opening up? I follow BBC on facebook so I have a general idea from that.

CB

Ah, paperwork CB, it's one of those jobs that needs doing but it just isn't nice to do.  But getting things ordered and knowing where you can find stuff you need does help.  And yes to space!  It does make such a difference.  Just in the way things feel and how the room looks overall.  Less is more and all that.

The overall rate where we are is low, which is good.  Everyone I've spoken to round here has been taking precautions and if we go out people are generally keeping their distance so that is good as well.  It is a holiday area, though, and they're opening up the holiday parks and camp sites now, so people are worried about visitors from other parts of the country (where rates are much higher) bringing the virus with them.  Shops are open again; I've not been near them and people I know around here are all staying away as well - everyone I know has someone in their family who's vulnerable and people just aren't taking chances, which I think is good.  They opened the pubs last weekend and by 10.30 on the Saturday night the police were tweeting that things were getting out of hand and everyone needed to go home, which was inevitable.  I personally find drunk English people a huge embarrassment; there have been reports of them smashing up bars and fighting in Spain over the weekend and they do the same here.  So I would avoid town on a Saturday night anyway and there's no way you'd get me in a pub with this virus around!  We went to the library in the week and walked past two cafes on the way; both were quite busy and are also places I'll be staying away from.  I think the Government advice has been so slack and contradictory that a lot of people do think it's just like getting the flu and it's not really a problem now.  That's the only reason I can think of for people eating out right now; you wouldn't catch me doing it   How are things in your neck of the woods, is it still bad? xx

[CB123]

Yes our state is one of the worse. We had 10,000 new cases in one day yesterday. ONE DAY.

Its a madhouse. Whether or not you take precautions or not seems to have to do with your political party, so even if you do take precautions yourself, you dont know what you will find if you go out. So I dont, at all. Cases on the news all the time of people who pitch a holy fit in a public place because they are asked to wear a mask--they threaten, throw themselves on the ground, dump over their shopping cart or start flinging stuff off of shelves. SMH

The big question right now is what to do about schools that should be opening in a month. There's no way there wont be a bunch more cases--there is absolutely no way to get kids to practice social distancing and leave masks on. My daughter is a school nurse and she is just at a loss--she doesnt even have a way to isolate possible covid cases in her office from kids who come in needing a bandaid. If they open though she will be right there on the front lines. Talking amongst ourselves we are all thinking that we are looking at the entire fall being taken up with this.

My other daughter should be teaching in university, but that's in a turmoil because the president is threatening to deport any foreign students if the university does not commit to in person classes. So classes start in 4 weeks--or maybe not.

The cities are bringing in refrigerated trucks for overflow morgue and emergency rooms are turning away ambulances. It is a tough time for medical people.

CB

[Hopalong]

It's overwhelming and what saddens me most is seeing how our indulged and apathetic recent generations have lost that spirit of sacrifice and teamwork that WWII brought out. Even black soliders who were segregated and prevented from many elite jobs fought their hearts out anyway. Likewise Native Americans, without whose Code Talkers we would have lost the war.

I hope the new massive energy of the next generation will bring us back together, because it's heartwrenching how much selfishness has come into the national character. Grown adults throwing hissy fits in businesses because our nation needs them to wear a face covering is just an indictment of half of our culture, imo.

CB, I hope your kids stay safe...and hero credits to them. Same to you Tupp, for doing what you are to protect a vulnerable son.

It's everyday ordinary heroes that will help us become a better society. Hopefully better leaders will fill the horrible vacuums at the top next elections.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Yes our state is one of the worse. We had 10,000 new cases in one day yesterday. ONE DAY.

Its a madhouse. Whether or not you take precautions or not seems to have to do with your political party, so even if you do take precautions yourself, you dont know what you will find if you go out. So I dont, at all. Cases on the news all the time of people who pitch a holy fit in a public place because they are asked to wear a mask--they threaten, throw themselves on the ground, dump over their shopping cart or start flinging stuff off of shelves. SMH

The big question right now is what to do about schools that should be opening in a month. There's no way there wont be a bunch more cases--there is absolutely no way to get kids to practice social distancing and leave masks on. My daughter is a school nurse and she is just at a loss--she doesnt even have a way to isolate possible covid cases in her office from kids who come in needing a bandaid. If they open though she will be right there on the front lines. Talking amongst ourselves we are all thinking that we are looking at the entire fall being taken up with this.

My other daughter should be teaching in university, but that's in a turmoil because the president is threatening to deport any foreign students if the university does not commit to in person classes. So classes start in 4 weeks--or maybe not.

The cities are bringing in refrigerated trucks for overflow morgue and emergency rooms are turning away ambulances. It is a tough time for medical people.

CB

That's awful to read, CB, I'm so sorry.  I know at the height of our situation we had hospitals having to turn people away and routine appointments are still suspended.  The husband of a friend of mine works for a power company and had the grim task of organising the power for temporary morgues.  What makes me saddest is that much of this was preventable - not entirely but at least not as bad as it is.  Too many in positions of power because of the money behind them and the families they come from, and I think that's a global problem.  I think even here they could have done 'business as usual' by having a plan in place to support vulnerable people, have as many as possible work from home and keep those who can't as safe as possible.  But all advance warnings and notices have been ignored and now many are paying the price.  It's truly depressing and I can only hope that you and yours stay as safe as possible, CB.

Yes, schools, I think here they are re-opening in September but on part time timetables.  It will be a nightmare for working parents who rely on the schools for childcare, plus the worries of children getting ill or bringing the virus home with them.  The government are basically stopping all support; shielding is being withdrawn from August 1st and parents have been told they'll be fined if they don't send their kids in.  I must be honest and admit that I've kind of stopped wondering and worrying about other people now and I'm focusing on keeping myself and son safe and happy.  It's the first time since he was born that we've actually been in a better position than many, ironically, so I'm trying to focus on being grateful for that.  It truly is a terrible time.  I hope you start to see some improvements soon.  And yes, we've seen footage here of people kicking off after being asked to wear masks.  Many here aren't doing so; the whining about 'human rights' cuts right through me.  It saddens me that people can be so self absorbed and unwilling to do any small thing to help someone else out.  Even from a psychological perspective, I think it shows that people care?  Which can only be a good thing, in my opinion. xx

[Twoapenny]

It's overwhelming and what saddens me most is seeing how our indulged and apathetic recent generations have lost that spirit of sacrifice and teamwork that WWII brought out. Even black soliders who were segregated and prevented from many elite jobs fought their hearts out anyway. Likewise Native Americans, without whose Code Talkers we would have lost the war.

I hope the new massive energy of the next generation will bring us back together, because it's heartwrenching how much selfishness has come into the national character. Grown adults throwing hissy fits in businesses because our nation needs them to wear a face covering is just an indictment of half of our culture, imo.

CB, I hope your kids stay safe...and hero credits to them. Same to you Tupp, for doing what you are to protect a vulnerable son.

It's everyday ordinary heroes that will help us become a better society. Hopefully better leaders will fill the horrible vacuums at the top next elections.

hugs
Hops

It is difficult, isn't it?  I think there's been such a focus on buying stuff over the last few generations that we've all been encouraged to think of ourselves, in order to get us to buy more.  Don't worry about whether that's been made in a sweatshop, or if the company selling it pay tax, or that we've lost three rainforests now to provide this timber or palm oil or whatever it is.  There's a lack of focus on that and a focus on making people feel that they and their stuff are the most important thing.  I think that's made a lot of people lose focus on each other and working collectively.  There's been so much blame in the press over the years, demonising groups of people because of their race, place of birth, sexual orientation, whatever.  And much collective good has been lost in the process.

I am finding it interesting that, increasingly, the 'media' view isn't gelling with the real world view.  I'm noticing the difference in the brief chats I have with passing neighbours or shop staff on the odd occasions I do pop to the shop.  The 'real world' stuff is largely positive; people are getting on with it, doing their best, wanting to look after those who are more likely to be very unwell if they catch it.  The media view is very focused on people behaving like arseholes.  I'm just noticing it more as I'm spending less time reading the news and virtually no time on social media (which you have been saying to me for ages, Hopsie   Lol).  Lots of people have found positives with this - more time with family, more time at home, less stress, less pressure.  It's receiving little notice in the media.  No money to be made out of people staying indoors and just enjoying each other's company, I guess.  We can each only do our little bit, I suppose.  At least that's what I'm trying to focus on at the minute.  I'm very, very glad and grateful that I have you guys on here xx xx 

[Twoapenny]

I've seen a house I really like.  I've been looking online for ages; I often do it because I just like to see what's about and how much it's going for.  I had a long day yesterday of thinking and wondering and, while I think it would be possible to go for it, I've decided not to.  It is lovely.  The pictures online are very detailed and it's one of those places where I could immediately see where I would put furniture, which room would be mine, which would be son's, I can see the cat snoozing in front of one of the windows.  It's in a large village with good rail and bus links to other towns.  It's the next county up from us so close enough to make the move relatively easy and also closer to our friends back home (not that we can see them at the moment but hopefully one day!).  It used to be a shop so it's quite old and run down, with a quirky lay out.  I love places like that.  It has a large kitchen diner, where I can see a big table and chairs set out with all son's Lego on it   There's a downstairs bathroom - another quirk I love, and a small courtyard garden that I can just see covered in tubs and hanging baskets with a bird table and a little table and chairs.  Stairs up from the kitchen to two very big bedrooms - son can have the room to the back.  And then another staircase up to a huge loft room that would make a great lounge and study, with windows that reach to the floor.  I can see the cat lazing in front of those enjoying the sunshine.

I do go soppy and romantic over places.  I love old places and places that have been refurbished in a haphazard way.  I like the challenge of places that are a bit unloved - hanging pictures and curtains, arranging plants, making bits of fabric into wall hangings and coverings for doorways.  IT HAS A BIG BUILT IN CUPBOARD I COULD STASH ALL THE PAPERWORK IN.

But.  I have got my sensible head on.  We would have to borrow money to be able to afford to move now and I really want to save up instead of borrowing.  It just makes more sense to do that.  If we get into debt again and then something else happens - a problem with a benefit claim, for example - we'd be really stuck.  Old and interesting also usually means cold and draughty so heating bills go up.  I could get packed up here and moved out pretty quickly as we've got so much done during the lockdown but it would also be nice to get some of the paperwork scanned so that we've got a few less boxes to move.  Son and I are both doing better healthwise but it is because we've done nothing for four months.  It would make more sense to spend the next few months getting stronger, saving more and getting more organised at home.  So I have decided against it but I have to say, I did just fall in love with it.  It's very 'us' you know?  I can imagine friends coming round and saying, oh yes, this is very you   But I've learnt from my previous mistakes and I don't want to get myself into another difficult situation that I'm stuck in for months.  I want to save more money than I think we'll need so that I've got a cushion.  It also makes sense to wait until son's benefit claim has gone through (about another three months) so we know that's sorted out.  And just make it all as easy as possible.  Something just as nice will come up, or we might get really lucky and find that one's still available in a few months' time   Meanwhile, I'm going to crack on with more cleaning and sorting out xx

[CB123]

That's so smart, Tupp.

Is it a rental? Keep an eye on it--it may come back available at just the time you are ready for it.

CB

[lighter]

Maybe that little place will still be avail, Tupp.  In a few months?  It really sounds like waiting will be a calmer experience for you.
Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Hi CB and LIghter

It is a rental - and quite a cheap one.  And it may well still be available in a few months; quirky layouts and old draughty houses often put people off, plus the garden is small.  Positives for me but often a no no for others.  Plus with the Covid situation, people out of work, who knows what going on with the property market - it might even be cheaper in a few months' time!

I will definitely wait, though.  I don't want to go through another really stressful, 'watching my dream fade away' thing like we did moving here.  I want it to be relatively easy and leave us in a good position so that, if it did turn out to be a nightmare, we could always move again and not be stuck there for ages.  It felt good to think it all through, weigh everything up and have that feeling of, 'well I like it, but it's more sensible to wait'.  A bit like saving that last bit of pudding for when you really want it instead of scoffing it straight after dinner

It did occur to me that Covid might get worse over winter as well and if that does happen, we might be better off staying put, not least because we have at least got people here who could go to the shop for me if need be.  I wouldn't know anyone in the new place so that might be harder.  It's sensible to wait.  What will be will be, it will happen when it's supposed to xx

[CB123]

I saw a house for rent one year that I REALLY wanted. It was right up the street from where I worked, had 3 bedrooms and a 2 car garage and was just a little more than what I was paying for the apartment that I JUST RENTED. I just missed it and of course had a years lease to finish. I watched the next year but the for lease sign never came out.

It was 3 years later that it finally did, and I had just signed a new lease again! Six months later and I no longer work at my old job and it would have been very awkward to live within eyeshot of the business while sheltering in place.

So all's well that end's well.

CB

[Hopalong]

Tupp, I totally understand the attraction to that house, and share the concern about fuel bills and debt. I'm so impressed that you recognized the impulse but did not allow yourself to be jerked into an impulsive move as a result. Wow.

Given Covid-19, I do think you might be sensible to stay put, where there are resources for shopping, etc, that could help you this winter.

I am alllllll about escapism and imagining alternative lives. (Despite loving this little house, I'm still obsessed with Tiny House and alternative architecture videos!) For once, I hope that I'll stick to simplifying and working on the inner stuff. Gets tiring, especially for the imaginative, but I think it's the best course at this time.

It's very comforting to know that this winter, the warmth of this board will be working better than any furnace. So if you get chilly and restless, know we'll all be sending you squashy hugs and huge badly-knit pullovers.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I saw a house for rent one year that I REALLY wanted. It was right up the street from where I worked, had 3 bedrooms and a 2 car garage and was just a little more than what I was paying for the apartment that I JUST RENTED. I just missed it and of course had a years lease to finish. I watched the next year but the for lease sign never came out.

It was 3 years later that it finally did, and I had just signed a new lease again! Six months later and I no longer work at my old job and it would have been very awkward to live within eyeshot of the business while sheltering in place.

So all's well that end's well.

CB

That's the attitude I'm trying to take these days, CB.  We don't know how the future will be so something that seems a great situation now might not be a couple of years down the line.  My first instinct when we looked at the house we're currently in was 'never, in a million years, am I living there'.  I talked myself over it and reasoned that son's education and future prospects (along with my work possibilities) were more important than a nice house so I ignored my own response and we moved in.  It's honestly been the worse place we've ever lived and none of the 'getting on in life' things happened, either.  That said, we are pretty well placed here to cope with the Covid situation.  So I'm trying to take the view now of, if it happens, it happens and to try not to be as rigid in my thinking as I have been in the past.  It will work out in the end.  How are things in your part of the world now, are they trying to get on top of things a bit better? xx