I've seen a house I really like. I've been looking online for ages; I often do it because I just like to see what's about and how much it's going for. I had a long day yesterday of thinking and wondering and, while I think it would be possible to go for it, I've decided not to. It is lovely. The pictures online are very detailed and it's one of those places where I could immediately see where I would put furniture, which room would be mine, which would be son's, I can see the cat snoozing in front of one of the windows. It's in a large village with good rail and bus links to other towns. It's the next county up from us so close enough to make the move relatively easy and also closer to our friends back home (not that we can see them at the moment but hopefully one day!). It used to be a shop so it's quite old and run down, with a quirky lay out. I love places like that. It has a large kitchen diner, where I can see a big table and chairs set out with all son's Lego on it

There's a downstairs bathroom - another quirk I love, and a small courtyard garden that I can just see covered in tubs and hanging baskets with a bird table and a little table and chairs. Stairs up from the kitchen to two very big bedrooms - son can have the room to the back. And then another staircase up to a huge loft room that would make a great lounge and study, with windows that reach to the floor. I can see the cat lazing in front of those enjoying the sunshine.
I do go soppy and romantic over places. I love old places and places that have been refurbished in a haphazard way. I like the challenge of places that are a bit unloved - hanging pictures and curtains, arranging plants, making bits of fabric into wall hangings and coverings for doorways. IT HAS A BIG BUILT IN CUPBOARD I COULD STASH ALL THE PAPERWORK IN.
But. I have got my sensible head on. We would have to borrow money to be able to afford to move now and I really want to save up instead of borrowing. It just makes more sense to do that. If we get into debt again and then something else happens - a problem with a benefit claim, for example - we'd be really stuck. Old and interesting also usually means cold and draughty so heating bills go up. I could get packed up here and moved out pretty quickly as we've got so much done during the lockdown but it would also be nice to get some of the paperwork scanned so that we've got a few less boxes to move. Son and I are both doing better healthwise but it is because we've done nothing for four months. It would make more sense to spend the next few months getting stronger, saving more and getting more organised at home. So I have decided against it but I have to say, I did just fall in love with it. It's very 'us' you know? I can imagine friends coming round and saying, oh yes, this is very you

But I've learnt from my previous mistakes and I don't want to get myself into another difficult situation that I'm stuck in for months. I want to save more money than I think we'll need so that I've got a cushion. It also makes sense to wait until son's benefit claim has gone through (about another three months) so we know that's sorted out. And just make it all as easy as possible. Something just as nice will come up, or we might get really lucky and find that one's still available in a few months' time

Meanwhile, I'm going to crack on with more cleaning and sorting out

xx