Coronavirus

[lighter]

Well,  if the tough emotions are signals to pay attention to them..... maybe see what they have to say, Hops.  I'm sorry depression is seeping in. 

Just think...in another week you'll know for sure you don't have the virus and won't get it as long as you keep control of exposure risks. 

I have to mark today as day 1 of my 2 week countdown.

We just had a case dx'd in our area... that person is from New York, but visited our little town recently. 

It's here. 

Lighter

[Hopalong]

It's everywhere. We just don't have adequate testing to confirm
the volume. So that's our baseline reality.

Thanks, Lighter.

Writing that post really helped me. I had another phone call with
my closest most in-sync friend, plus one glass more white wine than
I shoulda...but the result was YES dammit, I'm going to go out and walk,
and Pooch and I had a lovely peaceful walk in this crazy-lovely neighborhood
(especially in spring, daffodils on steroids) and even just the nods and smiles
lifted my mood.

I apparently pushed through the "remain paralyzed" message to remember
how much better I'd feel afterward. And I do.

Tiny tasks when I got home: hauling out both bins (recyclables and others) plus
breaking down a sofa-full of Amazon boxes to put out at the curb.

Even lugged my kitchen compostables collection (pee-yew) to the back corner bins.
Admired my neglected yard. Righted some chairs that a wind or stray deer knocked
over.

BETTER. Much better.

Hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

PS Light, I have also read we can't assume that that two weeks of isolation are good enough. (Though that's been the initial recommendation for people with exposure only or with very mild cases who've been told to self-quarantine.) Other experts are saying so much isn't yet known that it may be that considerably LONGER periods of physical distancing or everyone other than essential workers staying at home will be necessary. At least in order to flatten the curve.

Like...hunker down and stop waiting for normal to come back. I think they're telling us this every day but there are so many layers of resistance to peel through.

I believe we'll adapt but also that we're in for a very rough ride before we do, and that some of our routine behaviors may have to change looooong term to keep us safe.

M and I are giving it three full weeks of social distancing (now they want to change the term to "physical distancing" since the original undermines positive mental health) before we'll then go inside each other's houses only. I'll do friends-at-six-feet-separation (walks or patio sitting) sometime next week, most likely. But I'll leave bleach spray in the bathroom and ask anyone who goes to disinfect afterward and not forget all the doorknobs. I can't know who's interpreting the instructions as rigidly as M and I are. (We might feel silly later but that's okay.)

It's a weird dance to do in one's own head to find the right stance. And then factor in friends too. My closest friend lives on a mountain with her partner and I think they're in good shape. A neighbor has a bravado personality so keeps shopping in stores over having things delivered. Another has been in deep denial but just came out of it (she was telling me how she was going to go for meditation with her sweet friend who's in her 90s...aacck.)

I keep imagining slight fevers and felt a single light chill earlier today. Meant nothing, I'm pretty sure. But I've dug out a thermometer and will check out my temp in the morning.

Pooch and I really benefitted from our walk. Glad I did it and more tomorrow.

Sleep well,
Hops

[lighter]

I think you're doing an amazing job with all the change and rules of this new world we're living in, Hops.

Good job moving through paralysis.  Sometimes it's an immovable object, but not for you.  Not today.

I think about you when people are in my zone.... I try to see them through your lense and respond appropriately.

I guess we'll get better and better at it and just have see.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

One of the few CBT things that has helped me during times of stress, Hopsie (and this is that kind of weird stress that's very quiet and innocuous - I think we usually think of stress as something frantic and loud) is to focus on the next ten minutes - I'm cleaning all the doornobs - I'm getting Pooch ready for a walk - I'm going to talk to a friend on the phone, and so on.  It's the only thing I can think of that might help just to take things down a notch.  Maybe many ten minute tiny tasks will turn into an entire spring clean over the next few weeks and yours will be the house of sparkle   Lol xx

[sKePTiKal]

Monday, I invited my nurse step-daughter and the two (not so) little grandkids (anymore) out. She wanted her Dad's retirement rocker for her hospital office. It was the first day the kids didn't have school... and when I was looking at it afterward, I realized the trip out here actually helped them not freak out about things not being "normal". It was more like a holiday; special occasion.

She's pretty sure the virus has been around a lot longer than it's been talked about anywhere. The ER has been over-run with flu cases... and she personally knows of 3 different strains of that this season. (All tested positive) No positive COVID cases. My state, was the last to report a positive case somewhere... yesterday.

Huge complication for Hol, is that part of her DUI sentencing includes alcohol education classes (10 weeks), substance abuse counseling (6 months), and optionally, weekly AA meetings. IN the state, she can't drive in for 3 years. LOL. These classes & sessions are about 2 hours long. This is all state mandated and she can't miss but 2 sessions before she has to start over from the beginning and she MUST pass... to fulfill the requirements of the sentence.

No idea right now how the virus will impact all of that. There's a pretty big range of possibilities there. I do know that life (when I have been out) is going on about like normal around here and the city over the mountain.

I have no contractors here this week; they're working on another job - and the last carpenter to work in my bathroom has been out sick the past 2 days. I called into the office to alert them to an issue at the hut and see if I could beg a few more free days to finish the walls & drywall ceiling in there.

Steve isn't working since all the large events in DC are cancelled. One of his crew members tested positive for the virus. John is here; being his quietly useful self, working on art projects, and he & I have chosen to make food a main activity around here for the next month... since it's apparent that we'll be dealing with a disruption for at least that long. So far - the usual tensions of cabin fever aren't even close to setting in here. Hol has been trying to finish a quilt before a birthday; I'm working on the bathroom; John has projects & exercise to attend to - and will lend a hand anywhere needed... and we're not just all staring at each other wondering what to talk about yet. LOL.

Buck's D is all out of sorts because school is cancelled; college walkthrough cancelled; and PROM was cancelled - date shifted to May. She also wants to give away all their supplies & food to her bio-mom and his ex (who's had pneumonia twice this year so far)... and is mad at him, because he's not "compassionate" enough. She doesn't quite understand that survival oftentimes means thinking of your own needs first. They don't have a lot; given the limited income. And what he's doing is protecting her... but of course, she doesn't see it that way.

In the survival community, there is a whole set of psychological issues that is discussed and known as people react/respond to isolation, quarantine, scarcity of resources, boredom, and interpersonal exhaustion. (ie, LACK of private space/time) Think the kind of thing people on a spaceship have to be able to endure, and live through together, and overcome. There are all kinds of knowledge & skills needed too. Any "issues" in personal relationships are going to be magnified if people are continuously together without respite.

I no longer care about the origins of all this virus, or the theories regarding it... I'm looking at the secondary, and later impacts to all the systems that make up our "normal" life... planning for adjusting to what I think is likely to happen and pondering what I might do for ALL the possibilities... all while dealing with the thing right in front of me for now, until completed.

With kids out of school - be aware that the older, mobile ones are going to be up to hijinks, shenanigans, and likely vandalism. Especially in rural areas. I found a message in my mailbox that was curious and when I asked the postmaster, she remembered that one of my neighbors reported tampering too.

Physical work & activity is absolutely the BEST option in a situation like this... for dealing with fear & anxiety. IMO.

I also have a business to shepherd through this time. And an upset, angry brother - who doesn't understand the "hysteria" and panic over this. My advice to him, probably didn't help. LOL. But then - he lived though the same irreversable loss of "normal" that I did (with different experiences) all those 50 years ago... and he's always resisted and tried to deny change as a result. I'll be dealing with that situation the next couple days too.

[Twoapenny]

I think physical/practical activities are the way forward, Skep, I'm planning on using this time as a sort of spa/life evaluation/getting things done period.  Son is in the high risk group and we've been advised not to leave the house unless absolutely essential.  I went to get groceries at 6am this morning, thinking that there would be less risk if there are fewer people about.  Son stayed at home.  Everyone else in the queue was there that early because they had, or look after someone with health problems and they were all having trouble getting even basic groceries because of the panic buying.  A friend has just called to warn me that a friend of his (who is in the army) is getting prepared for deployment on Friday to ensure a complete lock down.  I don't know if that's true but it's a bloody scary prospect.  Just really hope that this changes people's habits and attitudes - we need public services, we need communities and we need to value people more than we value hard cash.  I'm clinging to the hope that the disruption and lack of access to things we take for granted will make people see that we can't all carry on the way we are.  Unfortunately I don't think the death toll will do that unless people lose someone close to them xx

[lighter]

CB:

The calm and acceptance you're exhibiting is healthy and helpful to everyone around you, IME. 

Lighter

[CB123]

Thanks, Lighter, it comes and goes. Like right now its 3 in the morning and I woke with a start over the immensity of what is happening. I've been almost giddy with the excuse to not be out and about (true introvert) until yesterday it began dawning on me that this is not going to resolve as fast as I first thought

The middle of the night has always been my nemesis. By morning, I'll be calmer.

It helps me to read how you work through your anxieties and encourages me to sit with my feelings and see what's there. I don't think I do that very much because I have had a sense that how I feel gets in the way of what I need to do. Like I will drown in them.

CB

[Hopalong]

CB,
What amazes me about your posts is how measured and thoughtful and reality-based you are. WHILE keeping track of six children, several in the high-risk category.

It's a testament to who you are that they all appear calm and mature in their plans and practices, as you are.

I'm really sorry to hear about the employment insecurity (much less your greedy boss taking advantage).

And I hate the idea of you waking up filled with worry. I am beginning to believe that this extraordinary video will be my nightly bedtime story until the pandemic has passed.

In addition to individuals' stress and losses, my thoughts are turning to life-after. I don't fully comprehend how deep the changes in our society are going to be. My mind has turned to the Great Depression but I hope that's overblown.

M and I are ordering seeds and planning our little veggie beds in my back yard. It's something for him to think about anyway (he has no good garden space).

Meanwhile I'm watching Trump blame the media for everything. He makes me SEETHE.

Hugs,
Hops

[lighter]

CB:

I'm right there with you..... the fear, the shock, the passing giddiness.

[Hopalong]

Sorry, forgot to include the link:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ps22+i%27m+gonna+love+you+through+it

[Hopalong]

As identified cases increase locally (about 8 now), a bit more fear.
Also, perhaps, noticing how friends vary in their safety practices, is something to navigate.

A good thing is M is being very intense about all of those. He set a rolled down to the outside bags outdoors and called to the delivery person to please remove the groceries from the existing bags, place them in his bags, then he'd bring them in.

And when he came for our first six-foot-walk-and-talk yesterday, he brought me a gift of wine (and a few latex gloves) in an "old clean bag." I appreciated that.

I still worry a bit about complete trust in his practices but generally I think he's a good partner in prevention. Hopefully, after the full three weeks since he returned from California (after shaking uncountable hands for three days) is up, I'll feel safe having him come in my house and me go into his. If that works out with neither of us coming down with it, then we'll have our "virus safety zone" to go to and from.

But I need to get an honest answer from him about the last time he was out and about. What if he got gas somewhere, gloveless, and didn't sanitize his hands and door handle before getting back in the car, for instance? I'm not sure he'd have thought of it.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that make me uncomfortable. That plus every momentary spring-allergy symptom I'm feeling. Aaarggghhh.

The bigger darker realization is the whole "life as we know it" changing forever. If it's 18 months, I figure most people who stay well will endure it and be okay. But that's a position of privilege, which half of us don't have.

I think my healthiest goal should/could be to stay in the present. Keep practicing prevention and physical distancing, and focus on deeper beauties and life itself.

Just rambling corona thoughts.

Hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

UGH. I must go out.
Ordered too much stuff for the duration and my checking account tapped overdraft line. It's okay as I can transfer from savings.

But I have to do that at the bank, can't yet do so online.

I'll use the drive-throughs and sanitize hands like crazy.

Not ever touching face is a big challenge for me as something's always itchy: nose, eyes, etc. Allergy season.

Off into the Scary World.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Maybe take an allergy medication you go?  Honestly, big dog cone structures, for people, are a good idea, IMO.

Online banking is so easy, Hops.  You have to get that set up, but you know that.

Lighter