No Subject

[Hopalong]

I got air filters designed for old-style registers on Amazon, hope you can find some.
You can just tape filter material however you come by it over them...

Even breathing with a damp facecloth draped over your nose might help?
UGH. So sorry you are going through this. On top of Covid!!

The video is shocking, the whole fire scene is too.

Yep, after working with those old folks, most of whom had serious pain of one kind or another, I recognized their endurance.

We shall endure emotional pain, physical pain, social pain, cultural pain.......and as my old Latin professor friend said so memorably:

....every generation finds a way to assimilate the horrors with which it is presented, and there will always, always be human happiness.

Sometimes I think we just need to keep limping until one day we realize our stride has loosened. Emotionally or otherwise.

Hang in there, wear that mask...hope you can get lost in the concentration of the work.

hugs
Hops

PS--Ever felt like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dSNEzXJfxw
 

[Meh]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/the-mysteries-love/201611/parental-attachment-problems

[Hopalong]

Posh, I like your new name a lot!

My T told me M had insecure attachment. She never said what kind I have, or don't. Maybe I'll remember to ask her Wednesday.

Has the air cleared up for you. You were about to wear a bucket on your head it sounded so bad.

Hope you're feeling some peace or hearing a rumor of peace, within yourself. (A valuable and interesting region to explore, imo. Nothing wasted about you.)

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Posh... I like it! Lord knows, you have an abundance of "certain" things in your life (like we all do).

I wanted to say, tho - I highly commend your wish to simply write or say out loud things to recognize your self. According to some traditions, "naming" something is quite powerful. It helps one raise a level of energy, direct it toward a desired goal... or release something you don't want to keep around cluttering up your brain or emotions.

I know it sounds kinda silly; like a kid's game. But it can't HURT anything now can it? IMO, it's no different than an affirmation. And who knows? maybe with repetition it'll sink into your subconscious and tweak the fine-tuning on how you see things over time?

[Meh]

Hello Hops,
Hello Skep,

Thanks I don't know how I came up with that name but scab mite seemed too melodramatic. Now this one is too long but at least it's specific.

Hops, we must all have insecure attachment, some variety of it. Some people say statistics are BS, the article mentioned something like 40% of people might have insecure attachment, take it with a grain of salt. It's always food for thought. It's clear how two people with variations on insecure attachments could really have some challenges. Recently a fellow student asked me a question on the subconscious mind and how it impacts language (a question I can't answer with authority). So this morning at 4 am I was thinking about that, of course the whole thing of "subconscious" seems controversial and it coincides with the ideas of hypnosis.

The word subconscious conjures up lots of ideas and I think people use it in relation to concepts like mind control. But it's always interesting just to consider what a person is aware of and what a person is not aware of. The problem is WE DONT KNOW WHAT we are not aware of!!!    hahahaha

So I was now just thinking about insecure attachment and how BEFORE we learned of the term we didn't even know it was a real thing. When a person knows it's a real thing it can still cause problems. Just KNOWING is not the same as being aware on all levels and that is freaky- to worry about how one can still be controlled by the past.

Thanks Skep. I've been feeling busy and bogged down and I haven't been writing here too much. I've heard of "naming" things but I don't know much about it. To go on SKEP I don't think it's silly. This naming idea. There are so many things because we can't see it people call it silly.

I don't think I'm interested in changing "how I see things" though. The idea of changing how you see things has come from the outside. It must come out of therapists who want to change people. If there is something inside me that can be changed I think it will be changed from the inside out

Mostly I'm not trying to change anything anymore. I can't recall a time where I've ever been able to impact a change on myself. IF something changes it does so on it's own and it's not easy or pleasant. When I found this site I was in a serious depression but I also think there were a lot of realizations I was having as well. I think it goes back to that we don't know what we don't know.

Theoretically I'm going to work and try to be productive now. You know now that it's after dinner time.  bwa haha

[Hopalong]

When I was hypnotized, I didn't really impact the change on myself. It was a combination of a trained clinical hypnotherapist, plus two scripts (aversion and replacement) that I wrote myself, plus a leap of faith (letting go of conscious control) born of desperation. I was killing myself with cigarettes...heavy smoker for 20+ years.

Anyway, it was to me a (secular) miracle. I sabotaged the first success after six months but about a year later did it again--I had read that book and it stayed with me--still does almost 50 years later. It took two appointments: one to talk about how hypnosis and the subconscious work and to brainstorm about the scripts, the second to do it (like guided meditation on steroids--he read the scripts to me once I was in "trance" -- or such deep relaxation as to be aware of a whole new sub-basement level of the mind I never realized I could access, much less influence). I came out of that appointment, got in my car, and never smoked again.

That was so directly life-saving that I never forgot it; and it's also why the subconscious is not controversial to me. Some writers connect it to the autonomic nervous system; some to meditative states. My limited meditation experience suggests to me that the state of hypnotic trance is deeper than meditation, but they may be the same or related. (Looked it up and most concur that hypnosis goes deeper, even though one is aware and remembers it. I was never "unconscious" or "out of control" and could have brought myself alert at any point.)

If a human being can live a fairly normal life with half a brain, I don't wonder at a whole realm of brain/mind function that most of us don't get into (and that our culture is baffled by because of "stage hypnosis." It's a shame, because it could help many people with many things. Doesn't work for everyone, but wow. He said the intensity of my desire to change was part of the reason it worked for me.

Funny I feel sort of evangelical about it, isn't it. I think I'm preaching to myself: this could be a good chapter in my life to begin working with self-hypnosis again. Lose about 20 pounds (those who use hypnosis tend to KEEP it off) and also work on goals, writing practice, etc.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

How about we just call ya PP for short? Like back when I was PR. (Pheonix Rising)

I take it you're reading and studying psychology. That must be a trip for you! I know it was for me; I've spent a long time trying to understand how brains work and all the different systems for talking about it, trying to understand it... and I always come back to: humans are wondrously magical creatures with powers they seldom access or even know about themselves. Trying to reduce even a single human into a "system" for understanding how they tick must be endlessly frustrating for psychologists. There's always something that just doesn't quite "fit" the mold.

This talk of the subconscious prompts me wonder if, what I call my "pre-verbal mind" is anything like the subconscious? And if meditation, at some definable levels can access more than just the parts of the sub-c that often shows up in dreams? Is meditation any different than self-hypnosis? How?

LOLOLOL. Don't mind my blather... curiosity has been my blessing/curse forever. But I will pass on to ya, that I believe that there is more than one way to "think"... some ways are more suited to different purposes than others... but all of them can be applied in any given situation/problem to solve. Some systems of psych understanding/"treatment" are more suited to solving particular issues, than others.

(I can generally work with more than one theory, or system, in my mind at once...all of varying degrees of "accepted wisdom"... and run my own statistical probability of the most likely "truth" - for me, that is. It's all arguable among different people... which in my way of understanding things needs to be a functional "constant". So sayeth the certified "weirdo"... LOLOLOL.)

Oh... and attachment theory... yes, I think we all struggle with attachment; even the people with a stable style. I think probably the most dangerous and harmful idea loose in the world, is that there is some kind of "right" way to be... because even balance within a person... is something that changes to external stimuli and internal desire, perceived lack, or "need"... and age.

[Hopalong]

There's far less been written about the hypnotic state than about the meditative state (there are some overlaps, but they're different experiences), so I found this article particularly interesting:
https://cosmosmagazine.com/biology/this-is-what-happens-to-your-brain-under-hypnosis/

Some typically shallow stories focus on which is "better" (of course, everything's a competition and some modality has to WIN! Aaarggggh).

They're different. Hypnosis goes deeper which is better for deeper struggles. Meditation can make you more peaceful, more in touch with your body, and less attached to your wandering thoughts. Hypnosis is like intense concentration using all your mindpower, without being self-conscious. To me.

Both are amazing. Hypnosis was a dramatic discovery for me and saved my life. (And didn't require continuous practice to keep benefitting. I think it must have literally over-written some previous patterns in my brain...but who knows? It also felt spiritual to me in the sense of unexpected encounter with my own connection with life force and powerful yearning to thrive, not just survive.)

I need to do it again.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

It's there for you, Hops.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Lighter.

And I have to edit myself:

Hypnosis is like intense concentration using all your mindpower, while in the deepest state of relaxation you've ever experienced, without being self-conscious or worrying about anything.

There are also plenty of sources that teach SELF-hypnosis (handy during pandemics!). The only important thing is to be certain you're trusting teachers/guides that are certified hypnotherapists with professional training. It is part art, part intuition, part neuroscience.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Thanks for providing that info, Hops.  I enjoyed it very much.

Lighter

[Meh]

I'm feeling irritable, a rather consistent thing for me.

A) I haven't been sleeping well and I can't get my sleep cycle back on track
B) I'm getting burnt out on online schoolwork
     *** There is too much of it
     *** I can't get away from it
     *** Too much computer time
     *** The more I stress the more I want to procrastinate against it
C) I'm lonely
D) I'm kind of stressed for various reasons. What's new?
E) My crazy b**** mother insists on talking down to me like a naughty six year old, it's sick, she is an F-ing sicko
    *** Less is more

 

[Hopalong]

Hey, Posh.

Got two things for you.

1) Ashwagandha. Twice a day.

2) An air hug from a heart that hears you.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Irritability can come from stress, boredom, depression, isolation, family stress and so much more. (Pandemic anyone?)

There's nothing weird about you for feeling this way, you only need to take some private notes on a pad until you convince yourself that a plan or an approach or an effort or a search for help or a way of claiming your individual dignity and right to hope for better....are what you're entitled to.

You've dealt with a whole lot of crap and loss and struggle and pain and sadness.

Is there ANY way you can get some one-on-one therapy? I can't describe how surprised I've been by how comfortable Zoom sessions have become. Took a few times to get there but now, I'm deeply comforted and helped by each conversation with her, every week.

hugs
Hops

[Meh]

I've already seen therapists when I was younger and this is where it's gotten me. Some countries and cultures don't really believe in therapists it's sort of a first world problem for rich people. It would clear me out.

[Hopalong]

Clear you out financially, you mean? That sucks.

I hear what you're saying. I guess if therapy has been negative in the past, I'd feel the same way. For me, it's been a different experience every time--because I was at a different place in my life and my understanding of myself and telling it to a different person. So maybe they're not all useless. (I had one bad one, the rest did help.)

But it's a very personal choice.
I hope something creative will sustain you until this damn thing's over.

hugs
Hops