Author Topic: Friendship Moments: good or bad  (Read 9164 times)

lighter

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2020, 07:52:59 PM »
Socially whacked on the nose jusyt before frantic waddle to pee in a panic is never something one can prepare for, IME.

:: nod::

 Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2020, 09:05:01 PM »
Well said, Lighter! :))

My Tinkle Belle arrives tomorrow, very exciting!

Just enjoyed sitting 6'-8' apart, masks on, big bonfire going, out at a friend's  huge old house on the lawn, to celebrate my wise friend's 80th. Brought our own food and drinks and the real nourishment was seeing each other. Ten of us, biggest group I've been in since March.

It'll be so nice when hugs are back.

hugs

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2020, 09:19:19 AM »
My sis and I had a fire in the burn barrell last night.  Cooked over it.  Neighbor dog hung out with us, happy to receive hot dogs and dropped marshmallows.  Such a nice fall evening after satisfying weed pulling and boundary setting/successful communication discussions with our guest who's here till the 19th....and there's growth, stability and tremendous exhaling for all.

Lighter


Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2020, 10:11:10 AM »
Quote
growth, stability and tremendous exhaling for all

Sounds pretty wonderful, Lighter!

:)

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2020, 12:30:49 PM »
Please skip this one if you've had quiteenoughthankyou of an old lady talking about one of her bodily functions (hey, I've GOT bodily functions, that's cool!):

The Tinkle Belle is BRILLIANT! Works great. Very tidy, simple, comfortable, straightforward (ooo, a pun!). Practiced in the water closet (another...pun?). Actually looking forward to a roadside bit of bravado-braweedo. Perhaps I'll start rolling like a cowpoke into men's restrooms and elbowing some huge trucker aside at a urinal. Move over, buddy, the Bowlegged Belle is here....

I have overdone this entire topic, I know, but silly as it sounds it's been one of the bigger stresses for me about quarantine. I drink a LOT of water and have been a very frequent bathroom visitor since I was young. (I wonder if being a DES baby--born with slight internal malformations--might also have affected the adjacent geography?)

Sorries for anybody feeling squicked out...
and hugs
Hops

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2020, 04:41:47 PM »
Hmmmm....
I missed something.

I thought you were talking about a fire pit, lol.

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2020, 06:58:08 PM »
You asked me about my fire pit on the Corona virus thread, Light. I answered:

Lighter, search for "Solo stove Bonfire" and you'll see it.

I was actually wondering once you'd Google it whether you'd be tempted by the Yukon.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #22 on: October 03, 2020, 11:32:20 PM »
Hips back, Hops.  What a wonderful device!

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2020, 01:34:23 PM »
That's right, Lighter. It has great instructions.

Did you look up the Solo firepit? I like its modern, minimal design.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #24 on: October 04, 2020, 08:40:37 PM »
The fire pit reminds me of a little camp stove I wanted....it burns ANYTHING and has a little battery powered fan....similar looking to the Yukon, which I do love, Hops.  This looks super efficient and without batteries!  Woo hoo.

Right now I have my burn barrell, with vents cut into bottom where I use blower to supercharge the burn.

Not at all sleek, like Yukon; ) 
Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #25 on: October 04, 2020, 10:16:22 PM »
Maybe not sleep but very pragmatic, a burn barrel. We're not allowed to burn things here even inside barrels, huh. (Though who would know if I snuck a couple papers in atop the kindling...)

I splurged on this one because it's pretty and a perfect size for my patio. It's also nearly smokeless, which I think will make visitors a lot more comfortable. That's the plan, anyway.

BTW the original Solo Stove is camping-sized.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #26 on: October 05, 2020, 12:16:29 AM »
Please skip this one if you've had quiteenoughthankyou of an old lady talking about one of her bodily functions (hey, I've GOT bodily functions, that's cool!):

The Tinkle Belle is BRILLIANT! Works great. Very tidy, simple, comfortable, straightforward (ooo, a pun!). Practiced in the water closet (another...pun?). Actually looking forward to a roadside bit of bravado-braweedo. Perhaps I'll start rolling like a cowpoke into men's restrooms and elbowing some huge trucker aside at a urinal. Move over, buddy, the Bowlegged Belle is here....

I have overdone this entire topic, I know, but silly as it sounds it's been one of the bigger stresses for me about quarantine. I drink a LOT of water and have been a very frequent bathroom visitor since I was young. (I wonder if being a DES baby--born with slight internal malformations--might also have affected the adjacent geography?)

Sorries for anybody feeling squicked out...
and hugs
Hops

Hops, the Bowlegged Belle comment had me in hysterics; I can't wait until I come on here to read a story about you pushing your way past a load of truckers at a urinal.  How funny would that be?  Lol

On a more serious note, though, I think it's great that you're looking for (and finding) ways to make the coming winter easier.  Taking away those worries (where can I pee, how can we keep warm outside) is so proactive and I think having some feeling of control over your circumstances is always helpful.  I was reading an article about the way Norwegians cope with their long, dark winters (almost complete darkness for two months, apparently) and it seems they focus on it as a challenge and look for ways to do the things they want to do, and then look at those things fondly.  They gave examples of long walks by torch light and focusing on the snuggling down by the fire kind of stuff, rather than lamenting the lack of light.  I think that's what you're doing with all of this - how can I make this potentially difficult situation workable?  I think it's a good approach.  Not sure the truckers will agree, mind you ;) xx

bean2

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #27 on: November 02, 2020, 04:37:37 PM »
mean gurls suk Hops!  and i'm very sorry you had to go through this.

on the upside, I'm ROTFLMAO, and no pee topics are not taboo with me!   hahahahaha

I can just see the look on that woman's face when she scolded you.  I can picture it all scrunched up....I can see her distress.  I can picture how if this was a movie or if we were friends in 3-D I would really love that this happened!  seriously she needs to GET A LIFE!  Life is TOO SHORT TO BE THAT UPTIGHT LADY

:) :)

On a similiar note, I feel my hubby and i are the only ones in our neighborhood (it is uber social) to not want to be around others sans masks.  it's really starting to feel uncomfortable and I imagine people are whispering behind our backs how we're "paranoid" and "uptight "  whatev

I have never been one for social circles myself. 

keep going to your group, laugh on the inside and know you are not the one with the problem with empathy, hops

bean

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #28 on: November 02, 2020, 05:31:45 PM »
Thanks, ((((Bean))))!

Interestingly, the snooty-poo person has been off my radar for a while. She really is going through difficult times (her partner is quite ill) so I'm not going to hold a grudge. I decided to look at it as HER awkwardness as much as my own. She has a need to keep things more on the surface and I was going all #BLM and she found it anxiety producing. I can sympathize with that, in a way, because people right now are just RAW about all kinds of things, political or not. (I imagine we will be for some time, processing the aftermath of the last four years.)

I'll just continue to participate in the group with her and not worry about her otherwise. That day felt awful but Tinkle Belle and I have moved on. Thankfully.

I see you and your hubby, sporting your masks, as walking in a quiet circle of caring for community and living in a right and gentle way. If others get a-buzz about it, it's probably a similar kind of thing...in a way your responsible behavior holds up a mirror that too many don't want to look into. Cognitive dissonance will ensue.

So good for you! It's an act of love, and nothing else, in my view. No defense or explanation needed. I hope you keep enjoying your walks and don't feel distressed over imagining how others' minds might be working (or more to the point, not working).

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Hopalong

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Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2021, 10:38:16 PM »
Had this on Relationships thread but decided to move it here, where I'll try to remember to put most friendship stuff:

Girlfriend J (the one who had the dire illness and refused to say what it was after several years of constant confidences, which was confusing and unsettling, though I respected her right to privacy) -- wrote telling me that her last visit to my house, during which I'd told her honestly but not angrily how I'd felt, was an "ambush" so she'd only meet me out in public now at a place she chooses. This is the World Bank professor person. I realized the friendship is over and wrote her a nice email where I said I wanted to release it with gratitude and no hard feelings. She responded nicely. So whew on that.

I am just feeling a whole lot less likely to go along with relationships that don't feel healthy to me. Not because another person's a terrible human (I can be the unhealthy one and often am, I'm sure), but because I'm FINALLY recognizing just that certain kinds of people are good for me and promote mutual trust and happiness, and others don't. Sometimes there are subtle power struggles (or unsubtle ones) that just take me forever to recognize. The way I'm made, once that kicks in, I need to get out.

Never could handle power struggles or intense conflict, and I'm tired of asking myself to. I would rather be Ferdinand the Bull, even if I'm by myself. I can attract bullies or controlling folks and need to be quicker to adapt and step around them.

Zoom friend (the introverted very bright librarian, widower) surprised me on the phone the other day. We had a plan for me to visit him and it was pretty hot, so I wrote to check in to confirm or not. He called to reply and was pretty upset -- turned out his cat has been diagnosed with kidney disease. He is so distressed, that cat is literally his mate and he's just rocked off his anchor. I was glad he shared that. Then I took a turn and shared how I'd been processing a new (I hope a last) wave of grief over M, and how I'd recognized this or that...and he was SO perceptive, supportive and compassionate. It kind of blew my mind.

I ordered some catnip shipped to his cat the next day. And feel very grateful that he's my friend.

Dearest poet friend R, who's moved away, has stayed in touch and we've Zoomed twice. It's meant so much. I miss her a lot but feel really good about how we're maintaining our connection. As soon as travel is safe again I will definitely visit her in Michigan. She has an unhappy relationship that she couldn't leave behind, so her negative and critical companion is troubling her, and she likewise flares into fury over every incident. I don't envy her that partnership but they've gotten a couples counselor and who knows, even old folks can learn, right? I hope they will heal. It's hard to imagine what's harder than being old and in a miserable bickering partnership. I know loneliness feels harder to me often, but there's the other side of it too.

hugs
Hops
« Last Edit: August 09, 2021, 10:43:48 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."