The Lake House

[Twoapenny]

Your brother's comments about taking sixty years to grow up made me smile, Lighter.  I think it can take a lifetime to undo all that childhood stuff that sets us on paths that maybe aren't right for us.  I get why some people never do it.  I've been finding I can be more detached with people, like you say, less judgement, softer acceptance.  I realised my codependence/bossy attitude stems from childhood.  I tried to protect my siblings from our parents in the same way I protected myself, by being what I knew they wanted and not being myself.  I realised I'm still quick to judge my siblings when they do things wrong, in the same way I was when I was a child.  It's fear, it comes from that place, and to a certain extent it's still real.  My sister just had another ridiculous man in her life, 0 - 60 in three days flat, more or less moved in with her and the kids straight away.  Her inability to protect her children is there, I think, it shows in the way she gets so involved with men she barely knows and expects the kids to do so as well.  So I think fear and concern is genuine, although also coming from the past.  But - she did kick him out the first time he got aggressive which is progress.  I've tried really hard to focus on that and not berate her for letting him move in so quickly anyway.  Hopefully the next step will be she gets to know them away from the kids rather than trying to create that instant family.

Anyway, I've digressed   I think there is good stress - like the projects you do, figuring out where to put things, how to get things organised, buying what's needed - and it's a nice healthy way to keep the body and mind popping.  Thank goodness for notebooks lol x

[lighter]

I'm playing hookie for 10 minutes.... this contractor tends to sit down if I'm not working WITH him, which is annoying.

As he's bolting beams in place, to hold the angel art installation in place, I'm wishing you were here to enjoy the process!  We went to the out building to look for corbels but found beams looking like they're from a shipwreck.  Almost perfect in length for what we're doing....holding the bottom of the angel in place. 

We have 2 huge,  very old arched window frames butted together to make an almost 6foot tall oval.... it's spendid!  Looks very shippy.  I'll figure out how to send pics.... I hope.

Good for your sister.... shoving the man out the door the first time he was agressive.  That never gets better, IME.  She seems to be learning and I pray her children are safe. 

Dropping judgment, for me, limits suffering.  The other half of that equation is embracing curiosity, bc it leads to understanding, altering habits and stepping around old habits.  I feels like I'm entering a new space with enough clean air to breath easy.  Fresh and new..... the weight of old thinking and reactivity dropping away, bit by bit.

Lighter

[lighter]

AC  in basement seems to be on the fritze.

On the bright side.... it's been cooler lately and windy.... just beautiful fall weather.,....the basement kitchen cabinets on the wall were  hung with the fridge installed today.... all good.

Tomorrow, if things go right, the kitchen island cabinets will go in with a change in plans as the 2 twenty something movers who handled the granite bartop and sink counter stacked them on each other then stepped on them creating 2 crushed breaks..... it's not usable anymore.  Going to make an island on one leve, now, and maybe use butcher block countertops from Lowes..... will see.  That wasn't a  happy thing, but it is what it is.  Onward and upward.

In the meantime, the contractor's wife and MIL both apologized for the Contractor's bad mood today.  Not sure what it's about, but assuming it's nothign to do with me...... and tomorrow I'll offer him the chance to take off early and  come back next week.  I miss my kids.... missed oldest DD's birthday today.  I want to go home too, believe me.

Nine days straight of work... that;s the excues he gave his MIL. and we work long hard hours.   Ummmm....it's been 6 really..... we travelled on the 3rd and didn't do any work... it was about rest bc he'd driven all night and worked for someone else that morning. so he's also exagerating.

::sigh::.

The cool thing is.... I notice when the energy in the room changes and I'm able to catch it and not let it take me with it... down a hole.  My nose is off the pebble. 

The contractor's demons are his own.  Nothing to do with me.  We all have issues, but he needs to stop dragging the cabinets around and doing damage to them.  Stops tomorrow.  You'd think he'd get tired of repairing them, right?


I know my  window of tolerance might be opening in one direction, but it's closing in another.

Lighter, signing off for the night.

[lighter]

The last 2 shower doors were installed and they're gorgeous.  Just so beautiful and  a good deal.

I think we're paying less than the showers should cost with an insulated door repair and window replacement added in.  He also re attached 2 loose mirrors for me.

The original contractor gave me the glass installer's contact info and I got contractor prices.... it was a nice thing.

We skipped almost 4K in mirror charges by cutting and installing an existing mirror in the master bathroom.
Shifting the master bed to the corner meant we didn't have to add to the wall mirrors in that room.

I'm ready to do a hard edit, clean and set the lake house up for guests.... the Airbnb site is almost finished.  Waiting on firepit install and whatever happens with the lawn and landscape.  Final interior pics will be fun.... very happy with interior.

My brother's cottage got the green light for Airbnb..... ready to get that site up and running.  There's a few projects to get it up to speed and I spoke to the journeyman handling that tonight.  Brother has him working on another house requiring it be jacked up so support poles can be cut to proper length.... the're too tall and throw the floor out of whack.

Brother's cottage feels really cozy.... we shifted the bunny bedding from the lake house and it's really really good there.  Will use bunny bedding on most of the beds in his other Airbnb for continuity..... maybe use the Heron bedding for the master. Will see. 

I'm super excited about the work and finalizing so many things.

That's my update.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Sounds like a good boundary with an employee's private issues, Lighter. You're taking care of yourself and not getting drawn in. Good for you.

Also sounds like you're really enjoying your development projects. It must be so wonderful. I keep daydreaming about a kitchen and/or bath update.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

I'm doing my bathtrooms in December..... and it makes me nauseous bc I'm without plans for them.   My head's in two, 3 and 4 other games right now.  I forget what tools and colors and numbers go where..... and it makes my stomach feel lurchy.

I'd also like to DO a lot of the work myself.

And I want them to be fantastik.... really good, but that takes time and research and early shopping to get it right AND come in on a budget.

I think all will be OK, though.  I really believe that.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

You need a notebook assistant, Lighter, to carry all your ideas around for you!  Wouldn't it be nice to have a little helper to be like a bit of extra brain space for you   Funnily enough that just jogged a memory; someone I was at college with years ago had a holiday job in the family business.  Her dad owned a chain of luxury boutique hotels and her job was to go window shopping at high end stores and gather information and samples of furnishings and decorations.  Isn't that the best thing?  You could do with someone to deal with all the odds and ends so you can get on with the bits you really love, wouldn't that be amazing xx

[lighter]

It's funny how I find notebooks with info I've written up..... when I need them.

Thank God the basement kitchen notes popped up when they did. 

I feel like I'm surfing real good, Hops: )

Lighter

[lighter]

I'm running to the lake for cookie baking supplies, which didn't get used over Thanksgiving, and tying up a few things, as I can before Christmas.

I need to meet with housekeepers for Airbnb situation, finish clearning the haze from master bathroom tile and gather whatever works for bathroom renovation at home.  Organizing is always an ongoing concern for me.  Not my strong suit, but you guys know that.

I was going to make a run to Atlanta to visit my late father's ex gf of 18 years.  She phoned a few months ago to say she had early onset dimentia and wanted to see me.  When I texted her yesterday, inviting myself, she texted back I must have heard about her cancer..... I hadn't. 

She was excited to see me, then said she has company and wants to visit when it's just us.  I don't know what that means, as far as healthcare needs go,  but we're set for a visit in January.  I think she's not long for this world as her weight has dropped from a size 20 to an 8..... the cancer is consuming all her nutrition at this point. 

The last time we spoke, she was focused on my father and his caretaker...... much of the time. THIS time she's focused on her late husband's decision to give his posessions to his daughter, after using my friend as a healthcare provider with his years of kindney failure and dialysis she wasn't allowed to speak about.  He chose wisely, bc she used to be a nurse, mingled funds from the sale of her home and didn't see this coming..... was wholly unprepared. 

So, our visit, when it takes place, will shake me the entire time.....
the legal battle with her step DD....
her losing battle with mortality......
the awkward moments when her sharp intelligence peeks through her Southern self depricating feminine charm and  facade...
and she shows me her true self, which always happens these days.  It's difficult to explain, but I suck at small talk and pretending,  so.....

I think we both feel very emotionally naked in those moments.

 I'm a little worried, not gonna lie, about the upcoming visit. 

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Sounds like that visit could bang on some deep bruises, Lighter.
If she's not just wanting to say goodbye with love, and instead is
thinking somehow that dragging you into involvement with all of this --
from her health to her legal battles --- etc.

That could be a huge test of your ability to NOT rescue or feel responsible for something you can't control or fix.

I hope it stays sentimental and you'll say No whenever you need to.
And hope it's not overall too hard.

Take care of yourself before, during and after, okay?

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Thanks for the advice, Hops.  :I plan to get my head straight before the visit.  My friend S will spend the rest of her conscious days dealing with the legals..... and that makes me very sad, as does her dh betraying her financially after all those years spent caring for him...more than 20.  You get that better than anyone, I know.

I'll bring lots of happy photos and food she loves and maybe a funny movie or two.  Any ideas for shows or movies you guys think would be fun?  I wonder if she'd like to paint something?  I never saw her do anything creative, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't enjoy it?

Lighter

[lighter]

The final housekeeping company did their walk through this afternoon and said the property was too large to take on at this time.

That's 3 companies who can't and 2 relatively new companies, 2 person teams, who say they're up to the task.  One showed up on time, did what they said they'd do and seem like a crack operation. 

The other was a young mother who put me off 5 times and has a life of PD family situations, poor dear. 

I hired the mother/dd team and will keep the young mom and her SIL as a backup team knowing I can't book anything back to back.  Just can't.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

I think you and S doing light-hearted activities that are just focused in the present is a great idea. Movies tend to evaporate on me so I can't remember what to suggest, but how about Barbie? I haven't yet rented it but heard a lot of women found inspiration and validation in it as well as humor.

Sounds like a good housekeeping team you found. One reason I treasure mine is that she's kind, honest and never shows any contempt at all for the chaos she's found here at times. Also cleans very thoroughly.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

I was supposed to finish up the trim and get the Lake House on Airbnb site BUT my contractor had to cancel, bc another job took longer than he thought.

So..... we were scheduled to go back tomorrow.... the day oldest DD heads to Toronto for a pre University start date visit wtih my sister and BIL...... but we're expecting, and I kid you not, possible flash floods and 100% rain all day in the County and State I'm leaving AND in the County and State I'm traveling to, where the building, now housing every tool I own and most of the building supplies, will be buried in a foot of mud.

I've lost boots in that mud, at the edge of the driveway.  THIS would be a muck across a 100 feet to access the building and so.... another delay in finishing up the Lake House.

Will see if it gets sunny on Wednesday.  There's a bit of drywall work we can manage, but he expected 3 to 4 days and one dry wall patch isn't going to do that.  I don't neeeeeed the bunk bed built out now..... was going to put that off for a while, but he's talking about it.  I don't want to talk about it now and I think I have to buy more insulation as the bundles I had aren't anywhere to be found. 

I felt like throwing myself on the ground today and writhing in loud frutration.... wer'e so so so close to having things ready. but now instead of trudging to the building every time I need a tool or fastener or piece of trim...... I have to stare at mud and wish I could trudge to the building.

Oh well...the journey continues. 

I just walked through the dark and cold to gather up Retired Nurse's Christmas tree from the edge of the woods and it was so nice to be outside.  In the morning I'm meeting a goat farmer to drop off all the Christmas trees and wreaths I can get my hands on, bc the goats love to eat them. 

I'm actually able to laugh about the rain and mud, so will count blessings instead of focus on what I can't do. 

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

January is full of surprises this year, huh?

We got about 5 inches of crunchy iced snow a couple days ago. B mostly slept the whole day. I might as well have; watched a long Maggie Smith movie "The Lady in the Van". It was interesting and she did a great job. B plowed the next day; and we ran a couple little errands the day after. This morning is the fine frozen snow, s'posedly mixing later on with ice/rain before turning to all rain this afternoon.

Then, the weather guessers are saying there will be 5 more "storms" to follow. I don't call it a snow storm until the temps are around zero, you can't see 6 ft in front of you because the snow is coming down thick and blown by 20-30 mph wind. Accumulations of a foot or more. It's yucky weather to be sure! But the intrepid kitty boys are still insisting on going on for their "patrols". Freddy, the wise old "major" has been spending all night inside curled up contentedly on his spot on the back of the couch. Jack went out this morning and "junior" (Stinks) THOUGHT about it (he hates snow)... Jack's been stalking the elusive mice & voles & chipmunks in the snow - and entertaining us with his shenanigans. He'll be running inside shortly though, to warm up his toesies.