Author Topic: The Lake House  (Read 14875 times)

Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2021, 12:53:40 PM »
(((((Lighter))))

This rang cathedral bells for me:

Quote
I'm overtly sympathetic.  I see that now.

I remember back when I was trying to figure out why so many different men have fixated on you, causing you intense internal stress, and I speculated that it was because of your overwhelming sexiness. I apologize. (Not that you're NOT sexy!).

I think it's the above, your own insight. It makes so much more sense.

It's not that your empathy is "bad", of course! It might be how you instinctively project a great BIG warmth and concern -- with impact on them you don't anticipate because it's your natural reflex. It's just...big.

Hmmm. I can imagine loads of men, unhappy with themselves or their woman-situations -- being set afire by that alone. It's an old old story.

And that old story has wound up more than once with them responding to you in a raw or even at times aggressive way that has tripped your spidey alarms.

I'm thinking as you continue to heal and soothe yourself, calmly and kindly, you're going to be able to tune into your own energies in encounters. NOT just "fight or flight" but the subtler stuff, which could be just two questions in the moment:

How much tenderness and accomodating and helping vibe am I emitting?
 
What does it feel like to try holding my goodwill more privately?


Reminds me of riding, how learning to use bit and reins and heels less, ultimately resulted in more -- peaceful cooperation between me and horse.

Ta da! Men are just horses. That helps (me). LOL.

hugs
Hops
« Last Edit: May 30, 2021, 05:22:30 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #31 on: May 31, 2021, 07:12:22 PM »
(((((Lighter))))

This rang cathedral bells for me:

Quote
I'm overtly sympathetic.  I see that now.



I'm thinking as you continue to heal and soothe yourself, calmly and kindly, you're going to be able to tune into your own energies in encounters. NOT just "fight or flight" but the subtler stuff, which could be just two questions in the moment:

How much tenderness and accomodating and helping vibe am I emitting?
 
What does it feel like to try holding my goodwill more privately?


Reminds me of riding, how learning to use bit and reins and heels less, ultimately resulted in more -- peaceful cooperation between me and horse.

Ta da! Men are just horses. That helps (me). LOL.

hugs
Hops

Thanks for that, Hops. The quoted part of your post really struck home with regard to what I can do, going forward, to change the responses I'd like to limit from men.... people in general, really. 

This new contractor expects and looks forward to my input, opinions and sharing of information about health and self care.  His wife eats in a prescriptive manner, sees a personal trainer who guides her and so he's already pretty familiar with it.

I will say this..... one day he brought his ss to the job.  He seemed a little confused and maybe dissapointed....... I was trying to limit contact, just in case he was the type to lose his mind, but had already chatted him up about things we had in common, etc.

During lunch I ran and grabbed my book PAIN FREE and gave them that copy bc they were talking about their back pain, spine injuries, chiro appointments. 

The contractor looked at his ss and happily said.... "See!  I TOLD YOU!"

I'm not sure just what he said about me, but I think it was nice.

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #32 on: June 01, 2021, 08:59:35 PM »
OK.  We're adding a bathroom and it's likely going to be my only chance to add a tub to the main floor.

The bathroom is oddly shaped..... it would be difficult to do this.

It would make more sense to put in a larger shower and tile it, rather than put in a smaller tub shower unit..... 49x32 inches.

The floor of the tub is 19" x 49"x16" soaking depth.  I'd try to put in a 54" long tub, but I can't find any worth paying and waiting for.

If I put in the 57"x32" tiled shower, I won't have room in the bathroom for a tub unless I use a freestanding tub enclosed in the shower unit OR use the drop in tub I already mentioned.

I feasibly have anough space in the bedroom to put a tub in front of the window there.... maybe a 55"x28"x15"soaking depth, freestanding tub installed with a minimum of 6" between it and the wall..... anything it's close to. 

It's tight.  It's precise work.  I'M IN NC, not GA where I can SEE the room.  I'm frustrated. 

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #33 on: June 01, 2021, 11:28:37 PM »
A local realtor came to the lake house not long ago.  She said a tub is good for families, esp ones with small children.  People want at least one tub in a house, generally.

If my brother has his way, there would be big tiled showers only throughout the house..... the bigger the better. They certainly look sleek an modern, IMO. 

I'm a tub baby.  My niece is a tub baby.  My BIL is a tub baby.  There has to be at least 1 good soaking tub in the house.  Niece and I will be wrestling for it, then end up sharing.  We might put a clawfoot tub outside for soaks.

This is making me tired.

To bed.

::sending you good vibes for house hunting::.

Thanks for all your input, CB.

Lighter




sKePTiKal

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2021, 08:38:53 AM »
Lighter - Hol had a deep concrete tub built for the hut. I've also seen created tile tubs, too. For a solution, maybe.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #35 on: June 04, 2021, 09:51:27 AM »
As contractor and I maki g final decision on tub, the Bee cut through a water line....he was supposed to be cutting out sheetrock only....went too deep.

Contractor reminded me....of me.  My response to Bee's mistake.  The frustration of knowing too much autonomy was handed to Bee.  Bee has limitations....requires supervision.....truly, like supervising a child.  The fact Bee is so hardworking and earnest means he jumps in without thinking it through.

Contractor speaking with lots of detail now.  Exact instructions for Bee to fol
They're talking about it now.  Contractor teaching.....huffing hard from running up and down long stairs, but calm and relaxed again.

Bee just turned 48, so it's easy to assume he's comprehending the scope of a task something when he nods and assures he has it in hand.

The water line was right against the stud.  Bee didn't make a huge mistake....just a lack of experience.

Lighter

 




Twoapenny

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #36 on: June 05, 2021, 05:30:47 AM »
I love a tub, Lighter :)  Lots of houses here don't have them now; showers and wet rooms are increasingly popular, but to my mind only because they keep building small houses and converting properties into tiny flats.  Baths are my escape :)

Sorry about the problems with Bee again.  Is it difficult/expensive to fix the mistake?  It's frustrating when you aren't able to just leave someone to get on with what they need to do, or at least know they'll come and check with you if they're not sure.  Keeping fingers crossed that contractor is more on top of him now and things get easier as they continue xx

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #37 on: June 05, 2021, 10:46:09 PM »
Tupp:
The cut water line was fixed quickly.  Not expensive.  Bee has things he does well.  I need to figure it out.  Will be things to do here, fir sure.  Landscaping, planting, maintenance stuff.

I planned a tub in the the bedroom we're working on.  It's smallish....48x32"....drop in with 6" deck all around.  I found a great sale on 2 Roman Tub faucets by Kohler at Lowe's last night.  Great sale on 2 mirrors.

 I bought what looks like honed white marble.... it's 12x24" tile for the new bathroom shower.  I took 8 boxes, everything they had....Honda CR-V carried it faithfully.    I spent today working out details in bed and bath. Matching up hardware, faucets, mirrors, etc .I feel confident with the new plan.  I know I'm happy about the tub. 

My brother seems happier, calmer and more positive lately.  Jenna and I really enjoyed visiting with him yesterday.  He's upbeat and busy.  Discussing renovation details respectfully.  He's renovating a property down to the studs right now.  Something's changed.  He's stopped criticizing and being dismissive.  I think he's impressed with first bathroom.  He now understands my contractor is good, more than reasonably priced AND he doesn't have to worry, save me or anything to do with the lake house.  It's ok.  I'm on it.  He didn't understand sister and I buying really good things at restore Habitat For Humanity and Goodwill stores...paying what builder grade items would cost, but getting high end items we can really use. Vanities with thick marble tops and fancy edges...taller than normal....soft close drawers and hinges.  Special.  The right sizes for the right spaces.  Not pieced together badly, which I believe was part of his concern impacting his attitude.

He's relaxing.  I'm very happy we're seeing eye to eye.  I enjoy this work.  It fits into my life and schedule right now. 

When I go back to The Cottage I plan to relax more.  Maybe paint the guest cottage interior and upgrade the bathroom.  Brother said the caretaker living in guest cottage has improved attitude.  If so, he'll be helping with those projects and I won't be doing so much. I know he's more capable than he's been in the past.  Some of that might be fallout from crazy contractor.  Hard to say, but brother super happy with him now.  Put him to work last trip.  They share boating information....brother respects his knowledge.  Things improving.

Enjoy your lovely bath rituals, Tupp.  I found these little plastic cups one suctions over the overflow valve to increase soaking depth.  I highly recommend; )

Lighter










Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2021, 09:05:49 AM »
OOOO, Lighter. If it's no trouble I'd love a link to those little overflow-blocking cups for the tub.

Haven't enjoyed a bath in years. Freezing wet boobs sticking above the water's surface.

Brrrr....

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Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #39 on: June 06, 2021, 04:05:30 PM »
Grrrrr.... freezing wet boobs.  No bueno.

There are numerous brands, but I ordered Gorilla Grip.
WWW.GORILLAGRIP.COM

Don't flood your bathroom!  Maybe set a timer for 4 minutes if you're planning to use it. That's what I do, just in case. 

I have a lot of "Oh, so very shiny!" moments of complete distraction, one after the other.  Can't be too careful.

::shaking head::

Lighter

Twoapenny

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2021, 06:59:49 AM »
I'm glad it was an easy fix and that your brother seems happier as well, Lighter.  I'm very short so all bath tubs are deep enough for me :)  Lol.  Your tub sounds like it will look lovely.  Was it the Island contractor who was the really scary one you had to get the restraining order against? xx

Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2021, 09:55:59 AM »
Thanks, Lighter.
Visited the website but can't find any product that looks like those overflow-blocking cup things.

Tried googling too. Wish I knew the precise name for them. Ahh, well.

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Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #42 on: June 08, 2021, 11:30:34 AM »
Hopsie are these the things?:

https://gorillagrip.com/products/bathtub-overflow-drain-cover

I don't know if all overflows are the same or if you have different ones over there xx

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2021, 11:49:39 AM »
That's it, Tupp!

Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #44 on: June 08, 2021, 03:51:22 PM »
Thank you, (((Tupp)))!

Ordering it today.

You just gave me a SOAK, first in years!!!

Thanks again.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."