Author Topic: The Lake House  (Read 19258 times)

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #75 on: October 27, 2021, 12:59:18 AM »
Contractor's BP is 135/120 as of last ni ght.  He texted he wanted to work today, but holy cow......he went to the doc instead, of course.  I think he's been in denial about how ill he is.

The doc is changing his meds, which makes me feel crazy.  Finding the cause should be the priority, imo THEN treatment plan, but that's not how it's going.

My nutritionist said he should have kidneys checked, heart checked and lungs checked, but that's 3 specialists and didn't seem hopeful the cause would be considered.  Only treating symptoms. 

My head stings when I think about his BP being that high. 

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #76 on: October 27, 2021, 10:07:38 AM »
Sad to think someone has to work that hard and risk that much when he's unwell. I guess an independent contractor doesn't have paid sick leave, unless he works for a big corporation.

Good that he has family and medical care, Lighter. Won't be perfect but he's in the same boat with so many.

How are you doing with boundaries regarding him? (Not criticizing!) I know that's a challenge.

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Hops
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CB123

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #77 on: October 27, 2021, 11:53:15 AM »
That's a scary BP Lighter, and I hope he does get to the bottom of it esp if it came on all of a sudden and if he has other risk factors. The thing about hypertension though is that you cant wait to treat the symptoms while you investigate. That's a stroke waiting to happen so they need to get his BP down as quickly as they can. Meds are the only thing that can do it quickly and they may have to throw big guns at it to save his life. By changing his meds, his doctor is doing crisis care.

He won't need 3 specialists either to get to the bottom of it. A complete bloodwork will show irregularities in his kidneys and he can get an MRI and other tests to look at his lungs and heart functions. His primary doctor will order all that and then refer him to a specialist for further testing and treatment if the tests show something. He may even be referred for stress management because that could be behind it as well.

CB

When they are older and telling their own children about their grandmother, they will be able to say that she stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way -- and it surely has not -- she adjusted her sails.  Elizabeth Edwards 2010

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #78 on: November 02, 2021, 11:46:53 AM »
Contractor still trying to get meds and BP under control.

Will be back at the lake this evening.

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #79 on: November 11, 2021, 03:05:17 PM »
My sister and I super busy at lake house.  Safety issues a priority, sealing hard won clean brick pavers while they're clean, putting up outdoor lights, flame bulbs in chandeliers and exterior lighting, fake flame fires in 4 huge stone fireplaces, making beds, painting subfloors, dusting, de cobwebbing, hanging art/drapes, placing lamps, adding extension cords and generally editing the entire house down, which feels amazing!

Next, we'll move unused lamps/lighting, doors, bulbs etc to out building to finish creating as much uncluttered space as can be managed in a construction zone.  Crazy days.

Cable guy came out and fixed router and booster today so it's working in basement now.

The house feels really good for early Thanksgiving with family from Toronto and Florida coming in.  Bonfires and traditional TG fare will feel very special in this old house.

Contractor still out.  Very worried he's not getting better.

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #80 on: November 16, 2021, 02:43:28 PM »
I'm enjoying FOO and the prettiest weather I've ever seen at the lake.

My contractor is still waiting for heart ultrasound results and suffers a cold he got from Grandbaby.  I'll say it and move on. .his doc "said" all his organs were "fine", then monkeyed with his meds ONLY, failed to get BP under control, so now, JUST now, are sending him to specialists to begin process iof determining causes for elevated BP.  It reminds me of my Bill's cancer journey.....his doc was dismissive of my fears.... belligerent actually, cost us months and.....I guess that's Western medicine, ime.  Once they fail with their cursory guess and see what happens with THIS drug approach..
Fail...
..THEN identifying the (dismissed)cancer or heart or kidney problem becomes "an issue" if there's any time left.

 I'm frustrated, but putting it down for now, bc it's not my business or problem to solve.....just like my father's brain surgery.  Sure, it directly impacts my life, routines, schedule/plans.....but it's nothing compared to the loss the identified patients suffer, so I do what I can then watch them pay to be lied to, misdiagnosed and ignored till Western medicine wastes the time they had for "functional medicine" to go straight to the cause OR kills/handicaps them outright.  Why correct skeletal alignment if one can simply replace shoulders, knees and hips?

Nuff'said there.  Just needed to say it

My God what a glorious day it is.  I'm on the porch swing, sitting in the wind and sun, about to do some self care.

I'm struggling to hold my own on month long cottage rental fee with very nice wanna be guest.  I really hate this dickering, agreeing then seeing 800.00 in Airbnb fees tacked in to argue about.  Ugh .....I really do.

Lighter






lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #81 on: November 19, 2021, 08:42:25 AM »
My BIL and I put up 5 beautiful exterior lights yesterday.  We had to go to HD for mounting brackets, which aren't really sold.  BIL figured out how to make it work then set about teaching me.  My heart was in my throat the entire time ......noticing when we inadvertently touched wires together we meant NOT to touch. 

The power was off at the switch, so not at the box.....it was "safe" but let me know how difficult it would be to do this alone ....without turning off the breaker.....and wrestling all the wiires into the box....oh my, Lord.  So nerve wracking, but every light clean and working beautifully.  We bought them at the Re-Store...a fifth light missing a ground wire, but they're a triumph compared to little lights we replaced.

We identified some important things in the electric boxes....mainly the Wifi which is huge PITA to reboot.  Oldest DD does it with her laptop.  New service going in at all the road so will have that installed when available.  It helps me picture Airbnb guests in the house, bc right now I can't see walking them through different steps with Dish or internet reboots, which seem way too frequent.

The house feels really good, btw.  We put the black futon ish sofa, flattened, where the mdm large ottoman used to sit.  It's the size of a twin bed and spans the entire seating area now ...2 sofas and a loveseat.  We put leather hides over it, 3, topping the whole thing with a whole cowhide printed with an amazing zebra pattern topping the thing...looks shockingly great, imo.

My niece set up coffee bar behind that area, which includes another loveseat, 2 big matching armchairs, a buffet to hold the coffee bar.....dd21's baby grand sits in that space, as well.  It rolls easily with the big casters installed. 

We moved the other ottoman to downstairs living room with beautiful tobacco colored leather sofa with tufted arms from ReStore.  More hides over that ottoman looks great.  I want to add buttons and fix them in place.  Maybe Velcro.

We cleaned up around the lake edge.....moved rocks, picked up wood and limbs. 

Today we cook big Thanksgiving meal and my brother's kids will show up.  There will be apple dumpling and cookie making to bring all the "kids" together in the kitchen. I think we have commitments from my two and sister's DD to take on several recipes themselves.

My Italian BIL will cook his anchovy and breadcrumb pasta for lunch, yum!

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #82 on: December 18, 2021, 08:51:50 PM »
After the contractor's GP TOLD him all his organs were working properly.....
after failing to improve his high Blood Pressure problem WITH MEDS ONLY.....
the GP fially sent contracctor to the heart specialist and many weeks later an ultrasound found multiple blocks in C's heart, which have been fingered as the ONLY problems, which is highly unlikely, IMO and I was right about the drugs sans diagnostic tests being wrong so l'm going to assume I'm right about other organs in D's system being involved.  I guess the bean counters decide who gets what and drugs seem to always always win out these days, even if they're likely to do more harm than good. It is what it is.

So...... as disgusted as I am I have to just put that down for right now and do the "wait and see what this and that and the other drugs DO" to the contractor while precious weeks go by without more diagnostic testing to inform a functional treatment plan.

Non functional, sick model healthcare is the standard of practice. It's official.  Almost makes me nostagic for the "lets just cut into the patient and see how that goes, even though it's obvious tragedy is the ONLY outcome" model I was disgusted by 25 years ago.

Shameful.  We're sheep.  It is what it is.

In the meantime, a friend in Ill is struggling with a failed back surgery AND uncontrollable bleeding of the female variety the doc she just saw feels can go without care.  I guess lettig women bleed out is a "standard practice" we have to live with and do. 

On the upside, she's so miserable she's been eating prescriptively, as Amber says.  I'm so ovewhelmed by her suffering I can barely think.  She can't sleep or stand or think........ I'm looking at flights and plotting driving routes........ right now it feels like I'd be KING F'n KONG on the scene and I'm not sure I wouldn't go to jail.  Doctors tend to be touchy,  defensive, vengenful  creatures when they almost kill people you love and you call them on it, IME.  I'm gessing they're worse when they actually kill patients.

Standard of care....... bean counters deciding who gets what.  Who dies. Who lives. 

Wer'e sheep and we better have an advocate in this sick care system, or else.

Oh dear.....
I am SO MUCH like my father, but I already knew that. 

I've had to let the friend in Atlanta go.... release her with love as all efforts to "help" her did not help.  She's just had a lumpectomy and they took a lot of her breast.  Her oldest son was there and Im hoping she goes to live with him in Ohio since her rat bastard ex husband died recently and can no longer poison her youngest autistic son against her...... this seemed to be the main problem with youngest going to live with oldest son.  Rat bastard ex died of Covid, btw.  Unvaxed and unapologetic about refusing to mask up. 
I really do hope friend and youngeest son DO go as oldest ds eats well, is active and teaches the autistic son SO many things....... about everything, including skills and self care.  She needs support and care and an advocate.  She truly does.

Had to blather on about that and get it off my chest as it's  my COW...... crisis of the week yanking me around in my mindfulness saddle, but not yanking me OFF.

And part of staying seated is accepance of the things I cannot change.  Just..... it is what it is.... let it be what it's going to be.

I will say I don't expect my contractor to be back on the job when the doc says he will, bc....... the doc SAID it.  I DO expect other problems to be part of the root of his problems...... BP and clogged heart are symptoms, but heart doc sees only heart problems and cares nothing about WHY the heart is clogged.  It is what it is. By the time the contractor's health continues declining, despite standard of care sick care pactices, I only hope he's healthy enough to get to 2 or 3 more specialists to discover the true root of the problem and perhaps ask the bean counters IF THEY CAN TREATthe causes and not just prescribe meds for the symptoms, wow this is really making me angry.

The sky is blue, the grass is green.

::breathing::.

Food is medicine. 

Eating more whole food is healthy..... dieting is not.

Giving the body what it needs, in the moment is functional medicine.  Keeping the body in balance, before disease progresses, is functional medicine. 

Waiting till the organs are failing and diseased IS standard practice...... telling patients everything is "fine" when no real tests have been run and it's OBVIOUSLY false is..... standard sick model healthcare. Grr. 

The sky is blue, the grass is green.

Lighter






sKePTiKal

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #83 on: December 19, 2021, 09:01:35 AM »
Right there with ya Lighter. I've been walking beside B, as he tries to navigate this system for almost 6 years now; trying to give him support, hope, letting him blow off steam and then pick a path forward. I feel kinda the same way. Kinda, because I know there are still docs that care about the patient; that care about doing the best they can. They are getting RARE.

Old ways: healers, herbalists, medics, etc are probably going to become more important going forward. Even though they don't have access to any of the old generic drugs even - that were effective way before the fashion in pharma went to the biologic and dna "remodeling" solutions -- which all list death and/or cancer as a side effect.

I'm not sure when it happened, but "do no harm" doesn't seem part of what is taught in medical schools anymore.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #84 on: December 19, 2021, 11:23:24 AM »
I know you understand, Amber.  As does B who remains patient and reasonable beyond all comprehension, imo.

Lighter


lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #85 on: December 26, 2021, 02:10:34 PM »
My brother phoned on Christmas day and was just lovely.  Upbeat, happy and excited and it the distressed mantels, kitchen island and large cart.... anticipating the bulk of cabinets looking anything close to the cart....just so great and I noticed the backlash of resentful reactivity popping up from past unfair judgments and criticisms he'd leveled at me and my character as a very difficult person.....the very worst person to organize and handle the island renovation.  Just....crazy opposite the truth, rendering me speechless and those emojis ruins just wedged in my limbic system....and I'm gonna do something about that so his compliments and praise are lightness and pleasure, only.  Not heat and reactivity.

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #86 on: December 26, 2021, 02:53:12 PM »
It's such a shame how much extra emotional construction and labor women undertake in this culture so that fragile, entitled males don't need to introspect.

Bravo to you for your own insight, Lighter. But don't feel you have to train yourself not to react to what's unkind. Maybe you don't want to process your reactions in front of or with your brother (my guess is pointless) -- but don't feel you are not allowed to feel anything about it other than Buddha things.

I do hope that self-calming is helpful in the moment, but hope you don't judge yourself for NOT LIKING IT.

I don't like being taken for granted or underemined or casually devalued or shamed by men either. Doesn't happen often but it awakens the fem-dragon. She just has to get out sometimes. No point in stewing in anger either, but a flash of resentment's understandable.

Bear in mind I'm resonating maybe too much, because my brother was epically unfair.

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Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #87 on: March 11, 2022, 07:08:51 PM »
If I had red paint I'd be splashing it all over the recently painted black kitchen island then hitting it with black paint again, then blue or green paint then black then sandpapering away layers to expose the different colors.....more distressing.  Why the hell not?:


The kitchen sink was leaking the onto the kitchen floor when I got here.  Just a fast drip into a bucket that must have just filled, bc there was no water on the floor when I arrived...... it was there when I woke up the next morning.

The contractor had to go grocery shopping for his In Laws and so put me off, but will be here in the morning..... maybe.  I think about going at it myself, but then I think about going at my bathroom at home and just learning on the job...... stripping off whatevr learned helplessness I have going on and I believe there's some.

Tomorrow I get the big ladder, a flat bar and pry off and out the pink and blue lead glass window over the kitchen cabinets.  I think I figured out how to get immediate gratification on that.  Clear bright sunlinght will flood through the house once that's done.  Rigth now it can feel a little dim in the center of the house, bc all the windows are on on the outside walls.  THAT window is in the center of the house, way up high.  Will be lovely.

Lighter

Lighter

lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #88 on: August 23, 2022, 08:30:44 PM »
Wow. I haven't visited this thread in a while.

The upstairs AC unit's board, or something like that, has been fried and has to be replaced.  Not sure who will do that.  Brother has the connections but it's a ways out and difficult to get people to show up.... hope the guy we went to HS with comes.  He's so nice and so informative and patient during service calls. 

That said, brother going to provide a big trailor so sis and I can move things OUT of the house and garage INTO the outbuilding.  I've done a bit, but there's so much more and I need someone to help me lift and move things..... going to get a lot done and this will be a decision point..... about what to do or not do on the house.

Did I tell you guys the contractor from the lake contacted ME for once?  I guess I gave up on him and that's OK... giving up on him is how it had to go.  He's no better... BP is very high and not under control.  He's on disability.... maybe that part of his life is over.  I think I've mourned it and it's OK.

I'm interested in clearing out the garage.  It would be nice to park in there... darned squirells really like to eat my engine wiring.... little red gremlins, they are.

List of things that aren't working well or need attention or replacing upstairs before renting can begin.

The 6 burner gas stove top has one eye not working. 
One of the double ovens heats slowly..... very slowly.
The dishwasher springs are blown and the door is SUPER DUPER heavy, bc it's a commercial  unit.  It's also not attached to the counter and sometimes shifts so the door doesn't close all the way and water goes everywhere.... just a big problem, besides the bottom metal cover never fit and is not in place.  It looks wrong, slams, and can leak...... not optimal.
The sink was reset BUT there's a leak and the faucet needs to be replaced.  I'm the kind of girl who likes TWO fauces on large triple sinks so I'll see about getting that installed and maybe an instant hot water dispenser, bc we have the hole for it AND the electric hook up underneath.  I see that as a no brainer.
The front door has very small lites in it and needs to be replaced by a full lite door to let the light in.  I'm going to begin looking for a 36" door for that. I see great doors all the time..... reallly love the Re Store in South Carolina for doors.  Will be back there soon enough.

I'm, not shopping for large or heavy items in my city any more...not that I have to transport any distance nope nope nope.

I still have to do another sanding on the kitchen cabinets and seal them again.  I'm looking forward to that. The cabinet finish pleases me very much to touch and look at.  Very soothing and satisfying.  I love love love the distresed oak..... like a 1920's gun stock... well used and marked by years served.

A friend is going to have an artist do a poured finish over his corian white kitchen countertops soon.  I would consider that...maybe do it myself even.  Will see how his turns out. 

I don't mind the white corian when it's pristine,. but that's a constant job to keep them clean, IME. Sanding off the stains.... a job I'm good at and don't mind, but time consuming.

What else...... downstairs there's a queen sized wood and leather sleigh bed I need to put together, but I don't think my brother is keen q ueen beds anywhere.  That room is long and narrow, now holding a bunk bed that's double and queen bed themselves... so it's a family room, which I find very necessary and helpful.  Not everyone agrees.  Details.

Lighter


lighter

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Re: The Lake House
« Reply #89 on: September 01, 2022, 05:41:04 PM »
Super tired from moving much of the furniture out of basement...including kitchen we didn't install for a few reasons.  2 strong and very competent young men, my sister and a 26 foot trailer worked a 14 hour day.  My sister wants to jump in and lay the LVP....but I have to sneak up on such things.   

I'm expecting guests to check in at cottage so want to work on something I know, which is moving furniture around and completing final sanding on kitchen cabinets before sealing.

The AC is out upstairs and the satellite TV repairman just replaced satellite today....finally. I guess the mower hit it, looks like.

 We're blowing cold air up from basement with a commercial fan so it's not hot.  Could be worse, bc it's 90 degrees outside.

A buddy might spend the weekend with us and that would be fun. 

A late friend's ashes will be spread somewhere around here mid Sept and the house will likely have guests for at least one night.  The idea of stripping, washing and making up 7 beds......woo boy.  Just moving very slow.

We found a room full of blackout lined drapes mouldering on top of the garage fridge.  Condensation must be a factor.  What a huge PITA.....just a shame.

One of the guys used the forklift to put 2 old dressers and a palet of mouse poop filled boxes into the dumpster and that felt amazing. 

The pug has been sick.....I think she ate a paper towel, poor thing.  Will be glad to see her and the kids next week.

Lighter