mental health

[lighter]

Hops:

It's good you recognize the things you need to limit or end....like getting winded.  Maybe you can walk in spurts, rest, walk so you don't get winded OR switch to movement.....stretches and whatever else you think will build you stronger. 

You're very resourceful, ((Hops.)) I hope energy to resolve the excersise piece finds you soon.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Thank you, (((((Lighter))))).

Your encouragement is always kind with a boost. (Resourceful.)

You know, that helps a LOT.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Happy Thanksgiving, Hops.  What are you and Pooch doing today?

We're resting after dropping my sis off for a 4am flight check in.  It's very quiet in my house.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Best answer, Lighter, is to post the image and message I sent friends this morning!

I am thankful for this dreaming dog, this beam of sun, and you, my friends. Happy Thanksgiving.

To my frustration, I still can't figure out how to upload an image here, so not sure it'll come through:

It's another "morning photo" of Pooch dozing on my bed in sunlight. Yet this time, she's in defined visible beams of sun, curled up snugly and something about the photo is beautiful. I think it's the sunbeams, clear and in focus. Well, plus Her Magnificence, of course.

Anyway, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I'm going next door this evening to eat all my neighbor's veggies. Very content to spend the day on my own. Will walk Pooch before I go over, and she'll get some turkey on my return. Good day.

Hope everyone has a happy day today. It's my favorite holiday, only about gratitude, not stuff.

A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness. -- Charles Beaudelaire (hangs over my stove)

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Well, December won this time. I have not been doing well this month. Most years, quiet avoidance helps me numb out/distract myself so I don't spiral into daughter-grief, etc. And that's not the main issue, actually. I don't yearn for her any more. It's generally feeling way too alone and in my case, that triggers anxiety.

Long story a LOT shorter, I get triggered by well-intentioned questions or efforts to pull me into celebratory, holiday-based activity even when I know (and SAY) that it's not the right approach for me. I am sensitive to pitying looks or behaviors. (People offering to come over who normally don't, for example). Can't stand that but also don't want to be alone.

Anyway, it all peaked in a panic attack that woke me up at 2:30 with chest pain and tachycardia. My insomnia is out of control (ALL night long a couple times/week) and yet, more meds aren't the answer. Instead I read (Cleveland Clinic, this time) an excellent summary of the symptom differences between panic attack and heart attack. This was a panic attack. While I SLEPT. But the article helped me calm down.

From experience, I know that any time you admit chest pain, responding health folks tell you to go to the hospital. Been there, done that.

But I found something new to me: inositol for panic attacks. So I've ordered a big can of the powder and am starting that tonight. I COULD go back on SSRIs but want to try this first.

Wish me luck! A non-harmful supplement that does what a small amount of research suggests it could do, would be a miracle for me.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

After an evening not as uncomfortable as colonoscopy prep but requiring just as many miles back and forth...I DID sleep well! I am elated.

Tonight I'll take either the correct, normal dose (duh) or somewhat less, and try it again. Once I've figured out the right amount, if it keeps helping the sleep, this would be a miracle for me.

Praying my agnostic brains out. I think severe, severe insomnia has been reaching a dangerous point for me. I can't live that way for years. One year of multiple all-nighters has been too much.

This is a hopeful turn! SSRIs, and their side effects, just aren't my solution, I hope.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Hi, ((Hops))
::looking up inositol::.

My youngest dd used to take that for sugar cravings....many years ago. I had no idea it was used for so many things. 

Sorry your tummy was upset, but over the moon for your good night's sleep.  This sounds promising.

I'm wondering if taking it with food would help...you might have.

Are you doing any writing, Hops?

Lighter

[Hopalong]

It suggested for sleep to drink the full dose an hour or two before bed.
So that's what I'm doing.

Some writing.

hugs
Hops

[Phyll]

I just looked up inositol too.  It sounds like it will help several things I struggle with.  I sure hope you get relief from insomnia and panic attacks. Good for you for seeking alternative remedies

My Mother used to get what she called "the jitters."  What she described sounded an awful lot like a panic attack.  They discovered, quite by accident that she had a rare tumor on her adrenal gland called a pheochromocytoma.  Had she ever sought treatment for her jitters who knows what psychotropic medication they would have prescribed.  I often think of this when people bring up panic attacks. I am not suggesting this could apply to your symptoms - just remembering and thought you might find it interesting.

[Hopalong]

Never heard of it. Wow, Phyll -- your poor mother.
My panic attacks were ferocious in 20s and slowwwwwly calmed mostly in my 30s. It's disappointing that similar symptoms have revisited now, but I guess the truth is that this chapter of my life is as scary as my 20s were. Minus the adventure. I don't have the dramatic symptoms like gasping etc, but when in that state I often have chest pain, racing heart and shortness of breath. All of which feed scary thinking. I'm getting better at calmer thoughts and slow self-soothing, so that helps.

Sipping away at the inositol right now. Cheers! I hope you're well, Phyll and that W isn't adding to your own stresses too unbearably these days.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Wow, P. Your mom's tumor was REALLY rare--fewer than 20,000 US cases per year:
A hormone-secreting tumor that can occur in the adrenal glands.
Pheochromocytomas usually develop in the small glands on top of the kidneys (adrenal glands). They most commonly affect people between the ages of 20 and 50, but can occur at any age.
Because of hormones secreted, symptoms include high blood pressure, sweating, rapid heartbeat, and headache.
Surgery to remove the tumor is usually required.
Very rare

Hope she had successful surgery...and relief.

Hops


I'll get pale and sweaty and weak, sometimes with chest pain and often with SOB during peak anxiety but not HBP or headache. Who knows how precise anything is for me, medically. That's the annoying thing about language: it's not EITHER physical or mental health... it's physical AND mental and it's hard to know what direction to turn to first sometimes. Chicken or egg stuff.

I'm dreading it but having a stress test (cardiac) next month that should either reassure or clarify. Fingers crossed.

[Phyll]

She survived the surgery - barely.  She was 72 at the time.  Very tricky surgery and the surgeon nicked the spleen.  When she came out of a second surgery in which the spleen also had to be removed, the nurse was anxious to inform my mother that they removed her spleen.  My Mom was still pretty out of it, but I will never forget her response. It still makes me chuckle.  Mom said, "They removed my spleen?!  Is nothing sacred?"

[Hopalong]

Brave and wittty, also.
Great Mom moment.

[lighter]

How are you doing, Hops?  I hope you and pooch are listening to music you live and dancing in the house. 

Bet you're snowed in.  I know we are.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Quiet snowy day and the power stayed on! Whew.
Cozy, calm, grateful, at peace.

Zoomed with a friend.
Worked on Afghan refugee family updates. (They have a home, the church furnished it completely, mentors got them on the internet so they could talk to family in Kabul, took them food shopping, set up budget, showed them translation apps --they speak Dari-- and got them to ESL classes. They've hooked up with the local mosque and even hosted some friends --from quarantine on the base I think-- whose power went out. Their younger son (16) has a serious seizure disorder and falls often so we got them extra area rugs and are relieved the rental house is close enough to the Med Ctr. Poor kid; I can't imagine. The older son speaks English and will probably be the first to find work. I can't imagine the trauma they've been through and their healing road will be a long one. But I'm happy to be involved as one of the planners, doing all the communications (updates to congregation, appeals for some new need identified, etc). Hope somebody came up with a pressure cooker.

Two hundred Afghan refugee families wound up here and most of them are still stuck in hotel rooms since affordable housing is so hard to find. Ours is lucky but I think it's probably because of younger son's health that they got in earlier.

I've been pretty relaxed (still love the inositol, miraculous!)..

hugs
Hops