dealing with dark events

[Hopalong]

Thought a thread might help for this.

Like most, I'm terribly attuned to war in Europe, the danger, the suffering of so many innocents that's about to march before our horrified eyes, etc.

Talked about it with my elders' discussion group earlier and we took comfort from sharing our feelings. Interesting group with a Nam vet, deep and brilliant pacifist, and motley others, a former marine, another soldier, a brilliant 96 y/o. And a woman younger than I. Overall, a really nice diverse group of smart, caring people.

Hearing others express their own distress (after feeling guilt for bringing up the darkness) made me feel better, because I often push back against the unspoken agenda to "be positive."

I can't be, about this. I'm not freaking out, am taking in the news and sitting with it as spiritually as I can. But I do not, or cannot, compartmentalize as though it has no impact on me because I can still feed my crows, enjoy my friends, and afford groceries or gas.

Just a thread for sharing whatever anyone might need to, with war begun in Europe.

NO POLITICS INTENDED. Ain't about that. This is just ... humanity. Dealing with that.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Anybody else thinking about Ukraine?
If you are, how are you dealing with it?
The news is horrendous and this is the beginning of something awful.
What we don't know is how drastic the awful will get.

I hope some scraps of the courage and sacrifice and dignity our Allies held together in WWII will still rise up in us. I hope NATO will be strong and include our help. So far, I'm containing fear. But also thinking thoughts like, I have been very lucky to live life for almost 72 years...then realizing they seem like "farewell" thoughts. If nuclear war results from all this and hits our nation's capitol, I'm no prepper but could go into my unheated basement for a time. Probably freeze, but with sandbags and water, might survive. More likely to have a heart attack though. I've always said if they plan to drop a nuke I'd like it dropped down my throat. I'd have no interest in living through the aftermath and nuclear winter.

Putin's actions are creating a new world and we don't know what the fallout will be, no pun intended.

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

There's been enough darkness in the world for some decades now. Sharing my personal darkness isn't going to help someone very different from me. I would much rather point out that we are about 3 weeks away from the spring equinox and daffodils & tulips.

Once the ice melts off my trees, that is. LOL. I can only take care of, be responsible for... my little corner of the world. And I still have things to do in that respect.

[Hopalong]

You're right, Amber. I was feeling overwhelmed by it -- and nearly always express the worst feelings to somebody. (I was frightened at what I was reading because even the most grave experts are sounding a dire note.) But I don't want to undermine anybody else's springtime.

One of the things I find hardest about living alone is having nobody in my life daily to express anything to during crisis times. Such as 9/11, events of similar weight. But I'm doing what I can, going to a "Zoom" vigil for Ukraine Saturday night.

Thanks for reminding me that the earth's beauty cannot be destroyed fully by humans. I should listen to my own favorite poem more (I've shared it here before).
Hugs, Hops (great article about Berry in this week's New Yorker, btw...)

The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

[sKePTiKal]

S'ok Hops - we talk to each other here. And yes, I know how reading/watching all the statements of the "worst possible scenario" can affect one's own outlook. It wasn't enough for me to just turn it all off, or discipline myself to question what is presented - and how it slants, and reasons WHY it might do so. I had to choose what to replace that activity with.

Invest enough energy in the positives I could see around me, to fuel growth to drown out the ability of negative media to evoke despair and futility feelings in me. At one point, over the past couple years of pandemic, Hol started doing the same. It was as simple for her as saying everyone was healthy, had a roof over their head, and had food to eat. To begin with.

And still, I scan the headlines - the amount of repetition of ideas is astounding! - and occasionally, dive deeper into something perhaps new on my radar or that I'm curious what the author thinks; how they see things. But I regularly pull myself away to DO productive things; fun things. To enjoy what is still here to enjoy - including accepting the accompanying risk that is inherent in actually living. I've done the "just existing" for extended periods of time, and it's no longer comfortable for me. It's no guarantee of "safety" or "security" either.

Besides: Stinkers needs constant awareness on my part -- he just now tried to walk across a 2 inch ledge (AGAIN) to get to the top of my tv shelves, which holds breakable knick-knacks. SIGH. 

[Hopalong]

Me too, CB.

I don't imagine myself clever or sophisticated enough to out-think security experts who've studied every increment of the geopolitics for decades. I do know evil when I see/feel it. I also am devastated by the human costs nobody's yet begun fully to pay.

I know not scholar-level but enough about WWII, the US and Europe to have few illusions. Our and U.K. media has some responsible players who most of the time, put truth above pot-stirring or conspiracies. I trust and verify as best I can, and am still a big believer in journalistic ideals. Have they been betrayed for clicks and ratings? 10,000 times. But truth still finds its way to the news eventually, despite all the cynicism.

It's pretty hard to disregard what's happening in front of our eyes, just as it was during Viet Nam. Media also changed everything in that regard, from citizen videos to embedded journalists. Those who cause and benefit from wars can't hide forever.

Knowing how complicated it is is helpful. And humbling. But arrogance or "secret" understandings based on the internet ramblings and conspiracy theories of attention-seeking poseurs will never help us hold on to the possibility of democracy and civil society surviving to evolve into better.

I feel the obligation to witness as well. One of my brightest and most conscientious friends, a long-time scholar and pacifist, was in tears yesterday. He is willing to directly feel the pain. If we suffer only vicariously for the victims, that's better than turning aside our gaze.

All that said, I can only feel so much before the crows call for a meal and the new grass will call to my bare feet to remember -- this too.

hugs
Hops

[Phyll]

I very much am feeling despair and concern about the people in Ukraine.  I understand why NATO is standing by and Ukraine is fighting alone, but it seems to me much more could at least be done to help the refugees right now!  Yes, this makes me feel very sad and afraid for the future.  Just my 2 cents, for what it is worth.

[Hopalong]

I hear you, Phyll. Be kind to yourself.
For many Americans and other watchers this is traumatic.
Can you seek out vigils or quiet rituals online where
you can feel some of these feelings with others?

I'm looking over this list of ways even a small-potatoes
gesture would be pooled and help make some difference.
https://time.com/6151353/how-to-help-ukraine-people/

hugs
Hops

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Hops,

I share your thoughts and reactions to the Ukraine invasion completely, and I very much appreciate your posting them on the message board.

NPR published the article below online:

Want to support the people in Ukraine? Here's how you can help

https://www.npr.org/2022/02/25/1082992947/ukraine-support-help

I am a long-time supporter of Médecins Sans Frontieres/Doctors Without Borders, and I will certainly make an additional contribution for their Ukraine efforts.

Take care,

Richard

[Hopalong]

Thanks, doc G. I wish you peace about it all, too.

I am having trouble. I could stick this under the Mental Health thread but as it's specific to "dealing with dark events" figure I'll bring it up here.

I have had a surge in anxiety symptoms (chest pain, SOB, mental confusion when first awakened) since the invasion began. I literally struggle to turn off/tune out the news (I feel as though I'd be turning my back on family). I know that's the smart approach).

If anybody has perspective to share on how to remain calm and positive and screen out the current international tragedy, I'd love to hear it. I'm flailing, honestly.

Not going quite mad yet but feeling deep deep stress. Feels so close to home. I don't know how to detach from this. (Surely some of my attachment to following it has to do with my Dad's service, being raised to stay tuned to Pentagon, DC, etc.)

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I couldn't get the link to post and I don't know if it will help as I've not watched it but I find her other stuff useful so it might be worth a look.  The channel is 'Therapy in a Nutshell' and the video is 'News Anxiety: 10 Skills to Manage Anxiety When The News Is Scary'.

If it's making you feel that ill the only thing I can think of is turning the news off.  Giving yourself another stroke isn't going to help anyone over there.  Beyond donating and praying I don't think there's anything practical anyone can do just now.  The only positive I can think of is that you don't live there.  It's a horrifying situation, as are so many situations, and that's the reality of it.  It can't be prettied up or made more palatable.  I don't know what sort of seismic shift we need to get these power crazy fruit loop men out and have countries led by benevolent folk with a co-operative spirit.  But I think your health has to come before anything else, Hopsie.  I hope the video has some helpful tips, I like her other stuff.  I hope you're not feeling as ill today xx

[Hopalong]

Thanks, ((((Tupp)))).

I connected with a couple friends who also needed to talk about it and that eased my freakout a lot.

Loved the title of the videos you suggest and will check them out!

Meanwhile, the inositol is helping a bunch.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Discussed the war with the crows, who were oddly optimistic before they ate. After that they had better things to do.

Discussed it also with that lovely Thursday discussion group. "I want wisdom!" I asked and it really did become an amazing discussion. A group ranging from late 60s to 96 (former rep to the U.N. who's visited Hiroshima twice) is actually a wonderful refuge right now. Felt much less alone afterward, love them.

Tonight is my 2x/month Covenant Group and one of the members is leading, so I an relax and just be a participant. So looking forward to it. Her topic is:

Life-Altering Moments

Throughout our lives we've experienced events that have changed us in life-altering ways. These may have involved a profound behavioral change or a slight shift in perspective.  Let's explore our life-altering events by delving into past experiences that define who we are today.
 
We'll begin by asking what life-altering means.  Does it require an intentional shift in behavior or thoughts? a profound emotional experience? a spiritual revelation? or something else?

Then choose among the following questions:

What life-altering moments(s) have changed the way you perceive what is possible?
What life-altering moment(s) shifted your perspective about one or both of your parents?
What life-changing moment(s) changed your behavior or thoughts? 
What life-altering moment(s) showed you that you are stronger than you thought you were?

This will be a wonderful way to get to know more about these women. It's a privilege.

love y'all,
Hops

[Meh]

Yep, people are running out of water and food in some of the besieged cities.

There was a report in the media today that Putin is planning a systematic style public execution process. All the deaths are executions. It's just they want to add more symbolic theater to death I guess to demoralize and subjugate the Ukrainians - so you know the locals are starving, traumatized and without leaders they will be so easy to subdue.

An interview I watched today a Ukrainian woman in a shelter said she anticipated massacres of the people who are hiding in shelters since the Russians can not have a civilian population that refuse to support them. Not everybody could leave or wanted to leave because it would break their families apart and some of them rather die than turn their back. The reporter doing the interview said she would pray and the Ukrainian woman said they need food and ammunition not prayers. The reporter frowned.

The Russians sunk an Estonian ship it looks like - not all details are out.

Reports claim that China was fully aware of the invasion plans before it started - supposedly there are intelligence reports about it. Interesting how that didn't stay in the headlines for too long.

I've been seeing photographs and video recordings of the dead.

It was stated that Putin had a 15 day plan to complete his goals.

There was also a map released by Belarus govt that appears to show Moldova as part of the planned invasion.

Teachers unions in the US are skewed towards 'Palestine' who in turn are supportive of Putin.

In an uncanny way Disney is releasing a movie titled 'Turning Red' (March 11th) close to when Putin had anticipated his war would end.

[Meh]

From NY TIMES if you scroll down a bit on the page you find this text.
 
https://www.nytimes.com/live/2022/03/02/world/ukraine-russia-war#dread-looms-over-the-refugee-packed-ukrainian-city-of-lviv-though-aspects-of-daily-life-continue
 
A Western intelligence report said senior Chinese officials told senior Russian officials in early February not to invade Ukraine before the end of the Winter Olympics in Beijing, according to senior Biden administration officials and a European official.

The report indicates that senior Chinese officials had some level of direct knowledge about Russia’s war plans or intentions before the invasion started last week.

 President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia met with President Xi Jinping of China in Beijing on Feb. 4 before the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Moscow and Beijing issued a 5,000-word statement at the time declaring that their partnership had “no limits,” denouncing NATO enlargement and asserting that they would establish a new global order with true “democracy.”

The intelligence on the exchange between the Chinese and Russian officials was classified. It was collected by a Western intelligence service and considered credible by officials. Senior officials in the United States and allied governments passed it around as they discussed when Mr. Putin might attack Ukraine.
However, different intelligence services had varying interpretations, and it is not clear how widely the information was shared.
One official familiar with the intelligence said the material did not necessarily indicate the conversations about an invasion took place at the level of Mr. Xi and Mr. Putin. Other officials briefed on the intelligence declined to give further details. The officials spoke about the report on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the intelligence.
When asked by email on Wednesday whether Chinese officials had urged Russian officials to delay an invasion of Ukraine until after the Olympics, Liu Pengyu, the Chinese Embassy spokesman in Washington, said, “These claims are speculation without any basis, and are intended to blame-shift and smear China.”
China held the closing ceremony of the Olympics on Feb. 20. The next day, Mr. Putin ordered more Russian troops to enter an insurgent-controlled area of eastern Ukraine after state television broadcast a meeting between him and his national security council and, separately, a furious speech in which he said Ukraine should be a part of Russia. Early on Feb. 24, the Russian military began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, including carrying out attacks on cities with ballistic missiles, artillery and tanks.