Guest with compassion and worry about the board:
Ok, off with my head then.
No! That’s not the point. You’re not being attacked, you’re being disagreed with. What I’d like is to see the
reason behind your view on this particular topic. If you don’t explain
why you think:
there is something in the e-mails that seems to be expressing vulnerability and the desire to understand
how can I consider your view properly? How can I reconsider my view and perhaps change my mind to fit your view – unless you
show me why I might? Where is the
evidence for your view – seriously? My views – as leugo – are based upon the content of the emails and on my experience. I have put forward a view based on the actual content as it is displayed here. I have taken time to read and re-read the emails before replying. My replies are considered. So – if I am very wrong in my view, I want to know why, so I can reconsider. I need to see your view and your reasoning, otherwise I have nothing to go on.
I like balance too. I’d like to see an alternative reading of these emails. I’d like to think there is a possibility that the mother did it fact say ‘I’m so sorry….and I hope you are okay and I worry about you etc etc’. That’s why I asked for clarification about what she did say.
So: yes, balance. Please don’t assume that my replies were just gut reactions, they were considered and based on the evidence before my eyes. What are your views based upon? Please clarify further or – let’s consider why you are reacting as you have? But:
It's hard when you're asking advice, especially from people as smart as this group, not to take the advice.
Smart? Maybe, maybe not, we all have to decide what’s smart for ourselves. But do people just take advice and act upon it without thinking it through themselves? I doubt it, don’t you? We can maybe influence, but people will do what they want or need to do. We don’t have any power here. Thank goodness.
I think this whole thing echoed some stuff I've been experiencing with my family, but I haven't resolved all of it so everything is sitting there, a little stirred up, while I figure it out.
You can figure it out here you know. I might be jumping on you right now because I feel a bit underestimated by you (and my estimation of myself isn’t all that great some days). So I’m standing up for myself but also, I feel something in you that wants to come out and I also feel that maybe you don’t know if this is the right place? Because the impression is that we’re pretty ‘us and them’ about things? Not so, not really, try it, see how it works out, why not? I don’t like polarised black and white thinking and if that’s what your family stuff is like, let’s talk about it? We could do some thrashing about these emails here, but maybe you’d rather talk about what’s important to you? You’re okay, please keep your head P
