Author Topic: Narcissistic Fathers  (Read 3709 times)

Anonymous

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Narcissistic Fathers
« on: March 14, 2005, 12:04:48 PM »
Anyone have a narcissistic father they have had to sever a relationhip with?

beenthere

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Narcissistic Fathers
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2005, 04:28:48 PM »
My father has narcissistic, borderline and paranoid traits.  I haven't seen him in over 10 years.  I have tried to reconcile with him via letters, but he always ends up verbally abusing me.  When I set a boundary, his reaction is to write some more verbal abuse and cut off all contact with me (a typical borderline reaction).  Of course, he blames everything on me.  My mother is dependent and has gradually lost whatever self she had.  I spent a long time wasting my energy trying to rescue her.  I have accepted that I will never see my parents again.  I periodically send them short newsy notes and I send cards for birthdays and holidays.  

I feel sad that my siblings are still very much under the "spell" of the family.  My sister is married to a narcissist and is becoming more like my mother by the minute.  She says she doesn't understand why I won't go see my parents.  The family legacy is being passed on to my 12-year old niece, who is my parents' only grandchild.  My brother, divorced since 1994, is not willing to be in an intimate relationship with anyone.  

I feel fortunate to be in an increasingly conscious marriage and to have the support of wonderful friends.  Getting to where I am has taken 15 years of individual, group and couples therapy, several years in Codependents Anonymous and years of bodywork (massage, craniosacral, EFT, acupuncture, chiropractic, chakra balancing, reiki, etc.).  I also became a yoga teacher and went back to school to get an MSW.  I wish I could say that I feel healed, but I am still recovering from the effects of the trauma and emotional emptiness of my childhood.