Hey mudpuppy,
I already started that path and it both made things better and worse. I reported her calls as nuisance calls to my telephone provider and she received those dirty threatening letters and has had problems getting a phone service for a while, the problem is should I waste the rest of my life documenting these incidents and driving myself insane over it (I tried that for over two years). Or maybe the better approach would be just to remove myself from anything to do with her (including the people around her). I have began to say my goodbyes to those I cared about as I began the journey to move on and have been given an opportunity to spend some time away from everything going on here. However the ways of dealing with this have been laid out mostly by others (continuing a charade using a combination of lies and denial of any knowledge of it) and I have been left responding to these. Something I am not likely to do as I will soon have nothing to do with them.
Moving on for me means re-establishing my self in the right social setting, connecting with people I know have similar interests and will look out for me both now and in the future and finding the right relationship. I believe that approaching her just opens new wounds and the pursuit of the threat of legal action or dealing with it through a lawyer / solicitor (where I am from) will just play into the her hands and / or the hands of those around her. The real benefit of me joining this website is to have allowed me to connect with others who have lived and survived similar traumatic situations to tell me that I am not alone with the problems that I have been dealing with.
Yes paying a therapist isn't a viable long term option but it is an option that allows me to put things in perspective and allows me the piece of mind to know that I have a trained professional on side (as well as on-call if necessary). I know your right about the lawyer / solicitor letter but after nearly three years of living with this I guess the message has finally decided to sink in. That the battles have to stop because in the end there will be no real winner, the fact that this may be a little more complex with a little more factors to it just makes working through this a little harder. I think that just mentioning the way I feel and the fact that I want nothing more to do with her has helped because if she is as smart as I know she is, she realises that both of us moving on (seperately) is the best (and healthiest) thing.
In response to Healing and Helpful your earlier question, no I don't think there are any PR's that work in my kind of field I have tried to befriend a colleague of my earlier place of work to "test the water" (so to speak)and he wasn't interested in it either professionally or personally. Back to your other point about personal space I sort of believe one day at a time, one step at a time I reclaim my personal space. I was once told "it takes a lifetime to build a career and only one mistake to ruin it," well I can only hope that isn't the case. One of my wise (female) bosses inspired me using her own life as a comparison after this matter was brought up and told me that based on my situation it isn't the case.
I just want to say to everyone who has made a comment and suggestion thanks for your interest, I hope you continue to do so and I will attempt to respond to all of them. JEEZ YOU PEOPLE ARE GREAT!!
