Hi Helena,
I've only just recently found out my mums a narc because I was in denial about it. Untill recently all of us siblngs tried to gain approval over the other. It's possible your sister has become a narc however its probable that she is an enabler and she likes the feeling of being top dog with your mother... My mother raised us to please her and the best person that she is happiest with is the one that gives her the best supply.
Your mum sounds alot like mine. It's very likely that she will never acknowledge your acheivements because she is incapable of appreciating other people. The thought that you have succeeded above her is something she doesn't want to face because she thinks she's superior and everyone else is inferior. She can only see the wants and desires of her own... My mother is not maternal whatsoever and she will charm the socks off anyone who is willing to abide by her rules... I was the "naughty" one because I use to stand up for my rights alot.
My mother tried to turn my sister and I against each other and she still tries to. I really feel for you because it's sounds horrible to have your sister against you aswell as dealing with the painful reality of a narcissist parent. I could be wrong but I think your sister probably is insecure and is jealous of you so she relies on your mum to make her feel like she is worthy. Your mum's worse fear is probably that you and your sister are friends and both see the truth about her. My sister and I are almost in that place and I can tell you mum is probably shaking in her boots... Rememeber you are the lucky one, you see the truth, you believe in yourself, you are no longer under her spell, you have a beautiful daughter. Your sister is trapped.
My kids don't have support from my parents either, it's very hard raising kids without support.
You are definately on the right track Helena, stick to what you believe and go forward.
Your mother will probably never change and it's a hard reality trust me I know but she is incapable of having feelings like a normal person. I have personally found it easier to cut my parents off to move on but if she did turn around and was sincerly sorry for all the wrong she caused me I would take her back in a heartbeat. However thats a fantasy I can't rely on and therefore can only concentrate on how to move on. Your mum and sister will be puzzled and horrified when you get to the place you can look back on them and pity them because they have no idea what they are missing out on in life..
Anyway Helena I'm sorry if I come across harsh, I really think you are a lovely person and that you don't deserve what they are doing to you.
Jessica