Now this sounded like a plan for me...I didn't find the N-test that Penny mentioned, but I am going to list the N-traits and let you all know how I compare
amoral/conscienceless - Nope. I have a very strong morality and conscience. Holy Spirit is who guides me.
authoritarian - Sometimes I can be a bit dictatorial, due to my choleric temperament.
care only about appearances - Not hardly. I can be a bit sloppy if I'm not careful.
contemptuous - Yes. I sometimes can be very hateful toward people that don't respond the way I want them to.
critical of others - Yes. I had a mother and step-father who raised me in this attitude. I'm doing better now with not doing it.
cruel - No. In fact, any time I hear of someone being cruel, I tend to want to RESCUE their victim.
disappointing gift-givers - No. I tend to be very good at giving gifts that bless people.
don't recognize own feelings - No. I definitely know and recognize my feelings, even if they are negative ones.
envious and competitive - I have had trouble with envy at times, but I really don't like to compete.
feel entitled - Sometimes I do. I don't tend to have "the world owes me a living" attitude however.
flirtatious or seductive - I used to be in my high school days. Now I only seduce my husband
grandiose - I was as a little girl and before I got diagnosed with ADD and Bipolar II. I'm fine now, even off meds.
hard to have a good time with - Not at all. I am known for being humorous and fun by my friends (not to sound VAIN here)
hate to live alone - Well, I don't know because I never did. I think I prefer to be with people, yes.
hyper-sensitive to criticism - Yes I am, depending who is giving it and how it's given.
impulsive - I used to be, but I don't seem to have a problem with this anymore.
lack sense of humor - Not at all. I love making people laugh and I love laughing.
naive - Yes in a lot of ways I really am. I don't know how to manage money and time real well sometimes.
passive - Nope, not me. I am an in-yer-face sort of chic.
pessimistic - Yes I sometimes struggle with noticing all the BAD in life. I've been learning how important thankfullness is though.
religious - I HATE this term. I have a personal relationship with my Lord, Yah (Jesus) and I'm outspoken about it, yes.
secretive - Only when other people require it of me. By nature, I tend to want to blab things to people.
self-contradictory - At times I've been told I do this, yes.
stingy - Not at all. I'm the sort of person who would give the shirt off my back maybe even if I didn't have another one on.
strange work habits - No. Other than I HATE HOUSEWORK so I tend to let it go. That's from having an OCPD for a step-dad
unusual eating habits - No. I tend to monitor the carbs so I can lose weight though.
weird sense of time - No. In fact, I don't wear a watch and tend not to look at clocks much. I just live life by the moment.
The most telling thing that narcissists do is
contradict themselves
. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath.
--- Yeah sometimes I do, but I don't see it...usually someone else would tell me that I did this.
If you're like me, you get into disputes with narcissists over their
casual dishonesty and cruelty to other people.
----I HATE LYING and as far as being CRUEL...nope. Sometimes I can be a bit condescending with people, however, but I'm working on not doing that.
Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations --
--------No. I am not big on my repuation and since conscience also ties in with empathy, I can also say that I have a LOT of empathy for people being hurt or victimized.
Narcissists are envious and competitive in ways that are hard to understand.
NO. I would rather walk away than try to compete with someone else. I enjoy my skills, but I know others are talented too.
Narcissists are generally contemptuous of others. This seems to spring, at base, from their general lack of empathy,
------Again, not usually. I do tend to be intolerant at times with some people, especially concerning people who want to hide their head in the sand when there is abuse going on. I never kept my family's secrets, so my attitude is that YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO EITHER. If there is abuse going on, it's YOUR job to blow the whistle on it and get the abuser and abused HELP.
Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) -- or else they are worthless.
------------Yes n No. Sometimes I'm sensitive and critical of others...As far as being seen as god-like? Nah, I know my flaws
And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time.
---------- I complain sometimes but not all the time.
Narcissists are hostile and ferocious in reaction, but they are generally passive and lacking in initiative. They don't start stuff -- they don't reach out.
---------- I am FAR from passive. I do start stuff sometimes and I definitely reach out.
Narcissists are naive and vulnerable, pathetic really, no matter how arrogant and forceful their words or demeanor.
------------Yes n no. In some ways I am a bit naive and vulnerable. I can be forceful if I'm not careful too. Not pathetic though.
Narcissists are grandiose. They live in an artificial self invented from fantasies of absolute or perfect power, genius, beauty, etc.
--------Only when I'm playing dolls with my daughter
Narcissists have little sense of humor. They don't get jokes, not even the funny papers or simple riddles, and they don't make jokes, except for sarcastic cracks and the lamest puns.
----------Oh no...I LOVE jokes and laughing
Narcissists have a weird sense of time. It's more or less like they are not aware that the passage of time changes things, or maybe they just aren't aware of time's passing at all.
-----------No. I'm well aware of the gray hairs and lack of wanting to get up and go as I age.
Narcissists are totally and inflexibly authoritarian. In other words, they are suck-ups. They want to be authority figures and, short of that, they want to be associated with authority figures.
----------Again, yes n no. I am authoritarian and want to be associated with authority figures. No, I'm not inflexible.
Narcissists have strange work habits. Normal people work for a goal or a product, even if the goal is only a paycheck.
------- I think I'm normal other than hating housework to the point that I let it go for a long time.
Narcissists feel entitled to whatever they can take. They expect privileges and indulgences, and they also feel entitled to exploit other people without any trace of reciprocation. ^
------- No. I would feel awful knowing I took something from someone that hurt them. I'm big on restitution too.
It's very hard to have a simple, uncomplicated good time with a narcissist.
------------ Nope, I'm fun to be with.
They can be pretty nice, even charming, flirtatious, and seductive, to strangers, and will flatter you shamelessly if they want something from you.
------------ No. I'm charming even if you have nothing to offer me.
Appearances are all there is with narcissists -- and their self-hatred knows no bounds.
------------No, I'm not big on appearance and I definitely do not hate myself.
Narcissists don't volunteer the usual personal information about themselves, so they may seem secretive or perhaps unusually reserved or very jealous of their privacy.
----------Me? Reserved? Not!
Narcissists not only don't recognize the feelings and autonomy of others, they don't recognize their own feelings as their own.
-----------Oh I know my feelings and I know yours are separate.
Narcissists are noted for their negative, pessimistic, cynical, or gloomy outlook on life. Sarcasm seems to be a narcissistic specialty, not to mention spite.
------------- I can sometimes be pessimistic but am counting my blessings more often lately.
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