After many months I called

[seasons]

deleted

[Sugarbear]

Maybe the passage of time is finally sinking in for her. Maybe she is the one that is embarrassed about not thanking you for the gift card.(of course if she is a true N, this isn't the case)

I don't see what you will have to be embarrassed about - you were being kind and considerate, keeping in touch to the level you feel comfortable with, sending cards/gifts, and putting yourself out there for her if she chose to call on you. 

Good luck at the shower. I hope you have a nice time.

[Hopalong]

It feels kinda awkward being with your sister who now is becoming a true stranger. A bit of a reality check for me. It is what I wanted in replace of a toxic relationship

This sounds sane and brave to me, Seasons.

I think you'll be just fine at the shower if you say to yourself, There is enough love. In this universe, we are all surrounded by it, no matter how awkward and small we feel. There is enough love to go around.

If you just walk around in that state of mind, feeling it, you'll be able to love yourself and be in her presence with no harm to your sense of self.

In a way I think you are a better sister and daughter because you are behaving truthfully.

(((((Seasons)))))

Hops

[lightofheart as guest]

I'd go radical with you any day, Stormy.
'Family' paints so many beautiful, uplifting, soul-sustaining, funny pictures, imho. I call someone family with great care.
I feel really lucky to have so many blood relations in my family, and really lucky to value myself enough to create the distance I need from other relatives. And extra lucky for the dear dear friends who jumped in voluntarily.   
 
LoH