[It might be presumptuous to post one's own writing here. Please let me know if a chorus feels that!]
Bigotry Basics
At some point, it's unproductive to dissect biogtry's many faces, I think. The process (often fact-based, I'm sure) seems to go off the rails into escalating piles of points and counterpoints.
But it might move us forward to recognize instances like Mel's as illustrating something tragic. Destructive and perniciious, absolutely, when it's promulgated, as with his crucifixion film. And anyone is free to hold a bigot accountable in whatever legal way they like. But the problem is also tragic for each individual bigot. It is such a cellular loss, to hate.
Since none of us, individually, can do anything about large groups of people who carry or spread biogtry, what CAN we do? We could try to challenge at a deep level how we, ourselves, respond to any bigotry that intersects our lives.
Everybody knows a person who's tormented by the hate-worm, and its main symptom the blame-worm.
We all know someone. Could be the bigotry is hung on politics, sexual identity, gender, war, race, money, or the cross. When it turns violent, prosecute and lock it up. But most of the time it's not. It's just carried around in the psyche and vented one scalding or subtle gesture at a time.
Where to start healing, I think, is in sitting with that person and loving them. No drama needed, nor dialogue. But compassion.
What if we don't just satisfy our legitimate need to respond by challenging our brains to do smart analyses of bigotry's manifestations?
What if we each challenged ourselves to take it on at a different level, next time we encounter it?
Humans can literally generate a spacious and gracious compassion that is as palpable as a change in temperature to someone in our radius. If you're not sure about that, because it doesn't feel rational, don't worry. It is a harmless experiment.
No position statement needed. And no need to telegraph either condemnation or agreement. Just sit or stand with the person, intentionally soften your eyes and gentle your physical stance. Look at them without challenge. Maybe tilt your head toward them. (That doesn't mean nod in agreement, does it?) If they will talk, listen, with all the neutral gentleness you can summon from your soul. Not agreeing, not disagreeing. Listening right past the words to the wounded person. (People know when someone is doing that. They can just tell. At some point, the rage of bigotry begins to yield to fear.)
Keep doing it. Don't look for "results"--you're not fixing anything. You're choosing something abnormal. To be present. To listen to the person expressing bigotry. Listening is not agreeing. It's respecting the personhood of the bigot. (People know when someone is listening to them without agreement, but with respect for their humanity. They can just tell.)
There may be no gratifying catharsis. But as actually as any retribution, you are planting a moment in that person's mind. A moment that feels...different.
The moments are cumulative. At some point, in the majority of human beings who are responded to this way, the worm turns.
Not sure?
You could try it. You don't have to tell anybody.
We can't all catch a plane to Lebanon or Iraq to fix things, right? So start where we are.
(Moral evolution can be strangely contagious.)
-- Pax
