Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[BonesMS]

Hi,

You have been through a lot in a short period of time. I'm tired for you.

I'm sure their will be a break for you soon. Keep the faith, get your rest and do something extra special just for you!  Best wishes....  seasons ox

Thanks, Seasons.

I have an appointment with voc. rehab. next week.  What frustrates me is that they have NO clue regarding Aspergers!

Bones

[Hopalong]

Is there any way that you can find out ahead of time what the name of the person at Voc Rehab is that you will have your appt. with?

Then print out a bunch of basic, well written summary articles on Aspergers and DELIVER or OVERNIGHT MAIL them to this person, with a note saying:

Please, read this material before you meet with me.

Eh?

xo
Hops

[BonesMS]

Is there any way that you can find out ahead of time what the name of the person at Voc Rehab is that you will have your appt. with?

Then print out a bunch of basic, well written summary articles on Aspergers and DELIVER or OVERNIGHT MAIL them to this person, with a note saying:

Please, read this material before you meet with me.

Eh?

xo
Hops

I've been meeting with her previously and given her material about Asperger's.  She still doesn't get it.  Her attitude is that if I'm not "officially diagnosed" before walking in her door, it doesn't matter and they do not do that type of assessment/diagnosing.  I've been attempting to obtain an official diagnosis and have encountered a Catch-22.

Asperger's was not included in the DSM-IV until about 1994.  By then, I was already middle-aged.  Many professionals don't want to be bothered with Spectrum people over a certain age.  Their mindset seems to be that only children have it and they never grow up to become adults.  The few professionals who are willing to conduct assessments on middle-aged, or older, Aspies charge an arm and a leg and do NOT accept ANY health insurance.  Given my current financial situation, I can't afford to pay for the official diagnosis out of my own pocket.

Bones

[Hopalong]

That STINKS.
That money should prevent you from getting the diagnosis you need to help your life become workable.

I wonder if Doc G could refer you to a therapist in the Baltimore area who'd do a diagnostic workup pro bono?

I hope so.

That's just WRONG.

You've been through enough with the emotional abuse and the physical issues. Money should NOT
be in the way of you getting a break.

You are not cruising the system, you're trying to get help you legitimately need.

I'm sorry I don't have money to share. I would if I did.

love
Hops

[BonesMS]

That STINKS.
That money should prevent you from getting the diagnosis you need to help your life become workable.

I wonder if Doc G could refer you to a therapist in the Baltimore area who'd do a diagnostic workup pro bono?

I hope so.

That's just WRONG.

You've been through enough with the emotional abuse and the physical issues. Money should NOT
be in the way of you getting a break.

You are not cruising the system, you're trying to get help you legitimately need.

I'm sorry I don't have money to share. I would if I did.

love
Hops

Thanks, Hops!

I hope Dr. G. knows of a resource or referral in the DC Metro area, near the University of Maryland-College Park.  Otherwise, I am at a loss.

Bones

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Bones,

I'm sorry to say that I'm can't be of much help here.  I don't know anyone or any place in your area to send you to. 

Sadly,

Richard

[Hopalong]

Hi Bones,
Sometimes one way to get proper treatment is to enroll in a clinical trial. You might write to some of these researchers:

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/results?term=Aspergers

Don't know much about how it works but perhaps it's worth a try?

Hops

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones,

I'm sorry to say that I'm can't be of much help here.  I don't know anyone or any place in your area to send you to. 

Sadly,

Richard

Thanks, Dr. G.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones,
Sometimes one way to get proper treatment is to enroll in a clinical trial. You might write to some of these researchers:

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/results?term=Aspergers

Don't know much about how it works but perhaps it's worth a try?

Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I've already contacted them.  However, they informed me that they are not doing any Aspergers studies that would include my age cohort.  The current Autism Spectrum study has a cut-off age of 20 and I'm a bit older than that.

Bones

[Ami]

 I am thinking of you, Bones.
Sending thoughts of peace.    Ami

[BonesMS]

I am thinking of you, Bones.
Sending thoughts of peace.    Ami

Thanks, Ami.

Bones

[seasons]

So sorry Bones. This is outrageous and so frustrating to hear all your going through.

Sending positive vibes, keep knocking down doors till someone gives you the help you deserve!!!

Keep us posted.  seasons ox

[BonesMS]

So sorry Bones. This is outrageous and so frustrating to hear all your going through.

Sending positive vibes, keep knocking down doors till someone gives you the help you deserve!!!

Keep us posted.  seasons ox

Thanks, Seasons.  I'll do that.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I also question myself alot!

Am I being Narcissistic?

Am I being too needy?

Am I talking too much?

Am I not talking enough?

Am I doing "small talk" appropriately?

Am I boring people around me?

Am I irritating people?

Am I just being a nuisance?

Should I avoid people so I won't be a burden?

All these questions and more keep flying around inside my head.  Are these the scars of a Survivor of an N?

Bones

[Ami]

Dear Bones
 Those are such good questions and so honest of you to ask them in a public setting. I know I question myself terribly. I think it is the aftermath of an NM.
 I have found that my best bet is to find a person or persons I can really be real with and then ask these kind of questions. I remember when I was younger my group of friends  would have "bull sessions" where we could tell each other truths.
 I can see you on the Board. I do not think you are an N. An N would never ask those questions. I think you have N damage and it probably manifests itself in either Little Voice ways or N ways(probably both) I think we all have these imbalances when raised as we were.
 For me, I am trying to  honor myself .I am trying to see myself as I am, good and bad. It is really hard to face the bad b/c I was so shamed for "normal" primal feelings such as selfishness.
 The thing I was most shamed for was wanting an identity. I feel REALLY guilty about wanting to feel whole and take care of myself. That is my hardest hurdle to overcome.
 I am so glad you asked those questions. I feel my answer is  inadaquete but perhaps I can come back later and add something  more.  Asking those questions is an important step to beginning to really love and accept yourself IMO.        Ami