Many have asked me how I have been able to overcome some of the abusive tendencies in my life so that I could be a better husband father. I was afraid to openly say this - yet reading so many post I know that it will be openly received.
I have been going through therapy with two different therapist one - Real Good $$$$$$ - the other not so good $$$. Anyway, I had made progress and yes like N's, I would think that my intentions were good and the abuse was at a more successful level - less hurtful. I was unaware of the DENIAL I was in. Even today, I realize that the biggest problem I have is DENIAL.
We switched churches and at the new church they were beginning a program created by Rick Warren (Purposeful Life) and James Baker, called Celebrate Recovery. Well, CR is based upon the similar steps of AA or NA, etc. Except CR utilizes the higher power of Jesus in your life. I know that if not for the power of GOD, my wife would have left and I would still be in the dark about so much.
Anyway, CR is a wonderful 12 step program getting you back on your life. The small group opportunities to share your experiences, successes, and pains on a weekly basis is just awesome. WE meet two times a week, once for an all encompassing meeting with women and men coming together for fellowship, then either man or woman sharing their recovery or a pastor teaching on one of the many steps to recovery; then we break up in smaller groups - gender based - to rooms where co-dependency, chemical/alcohol addictions, physical/emotional/verbal abuse, etc. where we get to share our pains etc.. The second night is small gender classes working on the workbooks to healing. This night is great because you read out your answers and get to listen to other men (in my case) reading theirs. The power of Jesus in those meetings are sos awesome. To see 8-12 guys in different forms of weeping over the realization of the hurts, habits, and hangups is over powering.
The long and short of it is that if you need a place - and I really recommend this program - going to celebrate recovery website and find a church near you who puts it on. It is (or at least for me) the greatest opportunity to heal and recover. Please do not think I am saying this is the only thing you need - I'm still seeing a therapist - a new one - but still doing it. But the fellowship of other hurt people in your circumstances is awesome. No one judges you, they all listen - they just listen. Then you find an accountability partner and a sponsor who will keep you moving in the right direction. IT really is awesome.
I know for men - it really has been a blessing. It provides good Christian men who have recovered from their hurts, habits, and hangups the opportunity to give back to those men just starting their recovery. Same goes for women. A wonderful place to find fellowship and source of power.
Just my .02 worth. I really am sorry to all of you, who have been abused - and I am really sorry for those of you who are abusing and not knowing. My new Mantra is "GOD is paying attention - Are You!" I really want to walk like Jesus and it starts from within then spreads throughout the home.
May God Bless every one of you in this forum and may he help heal and give mercy to all who need it.
With much love and admiration for the survivors,
hounded
