Author Topic: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips  (Read 31128 times)

Hopalong

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2006, 09:01:08 PM »
Uggghh. Painful question, Beth. (But thank you for asking it. Mwah!)

I do need to dig there but boy, I don't want to.

Will try it again later....

Hops
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gratitude28

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2006, 09:02:15 PM »
(((((((((((((((((((((((hops)))))))))))))))))))))
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

October

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2006, 03:29:47 PM »


It's very odd that I'm so focused and responsible at work, I accomplish a lot, and I'm the same way in taking daily care of my mother.

But when it comes to taking care of my own space, my own paperwork/mail/all that...

I escape. And it ain't good.  :oops:

Hops

Sounds like avoidance, which is born out of fear.  This may all be totally wrong, so take or leave, as you wish.

At work there is a role to play, and you do it very well.  At home there is a huge great void, where your father used to stand and guard over you, and now there is just a huge heap of paperwork, and no-one to help.  Which might trigger your feelings of bereavement and grief again, which would in turn bring feelings of abandonment, and of being a lost child.  And lost children cannot do paperwork, no matter how much they might want to.  They want to be found, and loved.  That would all be very understandable.  If you are anything like me, then when you look at that heap, you will go cold and freeze, and then head for the displacement activities.

Maybe it would help if you did some relaxation and meditation, and picture your dad with you, and beside you all the way, maybe for a few minutes a day for a while before starting sorting things out.  Maybe put his photograph nearby.  When you feel ready to start, break it into small tasks, rather than having to do it all at once.  Maybe schedule one day for opening letters and putting them in order.  The next day for writing cheques.  The next day for balancing accounts.  That kind of thing.  Maybe write a plan, with the heading, 'What Dad would tell me to do, and how he will help me to do it'.  Then maybe when you write his advice down, you will find he hasn't gone away at all, but is right there with you, every moment of the day.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 03:32:03 PM by October »

October

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2006, 03:37:53 PM »
Honestly, I am amazed I didn't get rid of my wedding dress. I probably will.

If you feel that you have to do this, then why not offer it to your local museum?  I know this sounds crazy, but half the stuff in there was new once, and many museums keep samples of costumes and dresses etc.  That way the dress goes to a good home, and you don't think you have discarded it, but rather given it to the future. 

You can offer it on permanent loan, if you don't want it to be sold or thrown away without your family knowing.

I was married in 1987, and one day, if I know my d doesn't want it, I intend to do this with my wedding dress, shoes etc.  And my mother's, for that matter.  But in her case, I would find a museum in the town where she married. 

gratitude28

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2006, 07:31:16 PM »
Storm,
What an astute and lovely answer.
Love,
Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

mountainspring

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2006, 09:01:10 PM »
What a great thread.  I can relate to fear of paperwork…  in my case bills.   I hate them.  I hate to pay them and I’m afraid of them but don’t know why.  It’s so silly because we have the money, but fear just overtakes me.   Sometimes it’s no big deal, and other times they send me into such a panic I can’t open the mail.  Recently I found a solution that is working well.  I scheduled them to be paid every other week automatically from the bank account.  This way if I’m not feeling like I can deal with them they are taken care of.  Going to the site to check into the think right now CD’s.  Thanks for the topic Hops

gratitude28

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #21 on: December 12, 2006, 09:19:29 PM »
You know, my problem is just the opposite I just realized... I overpay everything. To the point I have no money left and have to scramble to find a few bucks (and we are not hurting for money...). For some reason I get such pleasure out of paying things off that I will deprive myself of my last nickel to have that feeling. It also goes along with the pleasure of throwing things out, I think.
Hmmm... I'll have to ponder this one...
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

Hopalong

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2006, 05:59:06 PM »
October, this is a great line, thank you!
Quote
And lost children cannot do paperwork, no matter how much they might want to.

I posted a long happy explosion about how I had RECEIVED y'alls support...maybe on a GS thread...but either I can't find it or it vanished or I hit the wrong button, but the fact is, shortly after writing all this I did snap out of it. A few days' more to do but I made a big push and got the pile sorted and a bunch done.

THANKS ALL -- your vibes arrived!!

BTW, interesting thing to add, would love your thoughts Oct., is that my Dad was also OCD-ish about paperwork--about a lot of things. So while he was a protector and did all that so well, it was a tense thing to try to do (as well as he). Hmmm! Maybe it's THAT. Not so much wanting rescue, as fearing doing it imperfectly so much that I often don't do it at all.

AHA.

Whew. Oy. Dang. It's so stooooooooooooooopid.

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Gaining Strength

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2006, 07:06:22 PM »
Quote
fearing doing it imperfectly so much that I often don't do it at all

This has great validity for my situation.  But knowing ths is just the beginning for me.
Great thread Hops. - Gaining Strength

gratitude28

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2006, 07:22:11 PM »
Fear of imperfection is what holds me back from working out and eating right. It is so silly, but I always feel everyone is looking at me and judging what and how I eat and how much or how well I work out. I feel if I am not doing it to Arnold's level, it's not enough...
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

SilverLining

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #25 on: December 14, 2006, 04:24:49 PM »
My suggestion is to try tossing the books anyway Moon.  With practice it might even get to be more satisfying than keeping the stuff around.  In the internet age, it's easy to re-obtain books or information if necessary.

I say this as a reformed book hoarder.  I used to have a roomful.  Then I gradually worked my way out of the habit.  And I have only rarely ever regretted getting rid of a book.  These days, I would rather just borrow things from the library, and then give them back when I am done.  And I find giving them back is nearly as satisfying as taking them out in the first place.   I have saved around $12,000 dollars by letting go of this buying habit.

SilverLining

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #26 on: December 15, 2006, 01:34:04 PM »
HI ya tjr100

So we got the book thing in common hey....what I did not tell you that makes it even harder is some of my books were given to me by my sweet mom and she would
read a book about art history or a bio of a writer in the 1920's etc but she would know she was going to give it to me and in the margins are her hand written comments to me ...........




Hi moon.  One of the things I have done in this kind of situation is keep nothing but the notes.  All of this stuff fits nicely in a small box.  I probably will never look at these again either, but that's just me.   

It's an ongoing challenge.  I still have a couple of shelves of books I  think of as "reference" even though I haven't opened them in years.  Then there's that old quilt made by my grandmother that's been sitting in a bag for the last 20 years..... :)

 

Hopalong

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #27 on: May 23, 2010, 02:46:34 PM »
Read about an online resource for OCD issues including hoarding.

I don't qualify as a hoarder, I don't collect...but I am ADD, still disorganized, let things slide, get overwhelmed.

On deadline right now, so functioning like crazy. But feel stressed and overwhelmed on the domestic side.

Thought maybe this resource would be interesting for clutterbugs, and wanted to revive this thread regardless.

http://www.ocfoundation.org/hoarding/

love,
Cluttered messy Hops
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Portia

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #28 on: May 24, 2010, 09:36:57 AM »
I reckon it's a function of aging! The stuff just accumulates...

however: I have lots of stuff - duck tape, WD40, set of screwdrivers, big hammer, old blankets, tin trays that are probably over 50 years old - that I use and are useful. To throw them and then do the things i do with those things would mean spending money on new stuff -what's the point?

We buy foodstuffs now that are packed in containers that our grandparents would have paid good money for. And we chuck the containers out as worthless- but then go and buy new plastic water spray bottles for example. Insane. We buy cheap tat paintbushes and rollers and throw them away after one use instead of cleaning them (ok not all of us do that). If it's old and it works, it doesn't need replacing. You don't chuck out a cooker just because it's old! But people do, all the time, because they want clean new built-in stuff. Because they're told that's what they want.

I think I could easily chuck out all my work paperwork - all those agencies I went to see (who I never got a job through) ,all those applications and notes of interviews, all that gumph from training courses. Maybe it's time for a couple of my once-sharp work suits to go too...although i can still fit into them. Maybe not. After all, a classic jacket used to be almost forever.How times have changed!

BonesMS

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Re: DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
« Reply #29 on: May 24, 2010, 11:55:37 AM »
I'm painfully aware that, due to my ongoing struggle with Depression and other physical ailments, my home is BADLY cluttered and I have been trying to get rid of stuff that I no longer need, which is currently complicated by the medical issues going on now.  The biggest part is that many papers have to be shredded because of the personal information they contain.  (I don't want to risk identity theft from dumpster divers.)  The Community Shred only happens once every six months and I need to shred more frequently than that.  My little shredders that I have are not powerful enough to handle the amount and stop frequently...forcing me to wait several hours for them to cool down before I can resume.  To add to the frustration, Mr. Birdbrain LOVES to re-clutter whatever space I manage to clear out and thinks he's being so cute and funny about it!  GRRRRRRR!!!!!!   :P

Bones
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