You'll Fail if you Don't Do it MY Way

[gratitude28]

I have something else chafing my behind today, and since I'm on a roll, here it is. Sorry, I am in a mood this week...
In AA mostly, I have been on the receiving end often of "You are not doing the program the way I do it and therefore you will fail." I have not and will not fail. Thanks to the great program, I have been able to recognize my bad patterns, find peace and calm in my life (Although not today ) and grow as a person with true love towards others.
BUT THESE PEOPLE WANT ME TO FAIL. BECAUSE I AM NOT DOING THINGS THEIR WAY. I think part of it is being in a small place where I can't choose different groups to go to. We are a small community with a lot of "know it alls."
And I think it bothers me because this is what my FOO did, too. Nothing was right if not done their way (and their way chnaged to their wims).
Does anyone relate to this? Why do people want you to fail in order to prove themselves right?

[Stormchild]

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh...

oh...

this reminds me of the George Carlin routine about insincere hippie Christians back in the late 60s... "I used to be all messed up on drugs but now I'm all messed up on The Lord."..

Only with these people it's more like "I used to be all rigid and controlling with alcoholic stinkin thinkin, but now I'm all rigid and controlling about how YOU, Beth, work YOUR program." ...

oh my stars and garters... this is about control, and about not honoring your boundaries...

and the business of wanting others to fail? that usually comes from people who know perfectly well that their own success - even success in recovery! - is mostly smoke and mirrors and won't hold up under close inspection.

These folks don't want the genuine article around, they know just how poorly they'll show up in any honest comparison.

There's something very dishonest there... a desire to have the credit that comes with recovery without doing any of the actual work... cheap grace... it's very sad on one level but on another level it's maddening.

[moonlight52]

Goodness it's like someone telling you how to pray.....
 love to you
moonlight

[moonlight52]

p.s. I do not know where I would be without you guys....

((((((((((((((((((Stormy))))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((Beth))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[gratitude28]

Thanks (((((((Moon and Storm)))))))))))

Yes, moon, it is like telling someone how to pray What a good description.

And, yes, storm, they are the people who struggle with the program and life. I go to meetings sometimes so the new people can see that you are supposed to be ahppy and move along with your life.

(((((((((((((())))))))))))) everyone... I feel more peaceful getting this off my chest.
Love, Beth

[Bones]

I have something else chafing my behind today, and since I'm on a roll, here it is. Sorry, I am in a mood this week...
In AA mostly, I have been on the receiving end often of "You are not doing the program the way I do it and therefore you will fail." I have not and will not fail. Thanks to the great program, I have been able to recognize my bad patterns, find peace and calm in my life (Although not today ) and grow as a person with true love towards others.
BUT THESE PEOPLE WANT ME TO FAIL. BECAUSE I AM NOT DOING THINGS THEIR WAY. I think part of it is being in a small place where I can't choose different groups to go to. We are a small community with a lot of "know it alls."
And I think it bothers me because this is what my FOO did, too. Nothing was right if not done their way (and their way chnaged to their wims).
Does anyone relate to this? Why do people want you to fail in order to prove themselves right?

Oh Lord help and save us from the "Bleedin' Deacons".  There is no such thing as ONE way to work a PERFECT PROGRAM just like the 12 Steps refer to a Higher Power of one's own understanding.  The only thing I learned in recovery is to Keep It Simple and work the Steps in order and turn it over to my Higher Power of my understanding.  The "Bleedin' Deacons" are no one's Higher Power and if they are delusional about how much power they have, they are really not helping anyone.  Their noses end where other peoples' business begins.  They need to stop taking others' inventory and focus on working their own Program.  At least that is what the Big Book suggests.  Just my opinion.

Bones

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))

[Bones]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))

Thanks, Gratitude!

Bones

[Dazed1]

Hi Beth,

I'm too tired to mince words, so let me put it like this:  Screw 'em!  Do it the way that feels right to you.

Just because they're in recovery does not mean they aren't controlling.  Kinda makes me think about Ns who are therapists.

"Why do people want you to fail in order to prove themselves right?"   I guess they're Ns or have some other distorted mind set.

How about putting up some boundaries?

Love,
dazed

[Leah]

Goodness it's like someone telling you how to pray.....

Brilliant illustration (((( Moon ))))


After all, we're not robots  .... we're Unique Individuals with a heart and a Voice !!


Have a lovely day everyone.

Leah x

[Leah]

Moon,

How can someone pray in a right or wrong way??? 

Exactly my thoughts Moon, praying is from ones heart, and we each would pray differently.

The lady had a problem, she was ever so 'prickly'

I was the 'new kid on the block'

Don't think she wanted any newcomers to her group of 6 and thats okay with me, some people are like that, they like just the same people each week, but, as they are all quite elderly, what happens then?

I was not looking for a rigid rules group, so happy not to go back there.

I have found a lovely gentle group, with warm open friendly people, and look forward to being with them once a month.

Shame really how some people act - but that's life I suppose.   I still love them - just can't be with them.

Sad really, on here, we realise that there is a better way to interact with one another, whilst others out there, carry on regardless.

Life's journey certainly can take us on a stoney path sometimes 

Leah x

[Hopalong]

Hey Moon,
You feeling better today?


((((((you)))))

Hops