bait

[axa]

It is almost three months since I dumped XN.  While I was away he sent me a message on my phone with a question mark indicating a desire for a response.  I was furious and ignored it but it threw me off balance again.  I have been doing very very well, moving on, bad days and good days but mostly good.  It was silly of me to think that he would respect my request for no contact.  Where do these creeps get off.  His supply, which I knew would not be too fulfilling, must have dipped so he threw out the bait in the hope that he would hook me in again. 

Got to pick myself up and move on again, could do without these hooks.

axa

[gratitude28]

((((axa))))))))))))

Stay strong. And bean has a good idea. I would change everything you could. Is he bored or something? Remeber, it is not YOU that he cares for... just the reaction he can provoke.

Come here and write if you need to keep your mind focused. Tell us all the rotten reasons you left.

Love, Beth

[axa]

Thanks guys,

I cannot change my number as it is also my work number, I am self employed.  He sent the message when he was on holidays with his xwife, my sources tell me.  Well, what does that say for the great reconciliation with Xwife.  I know he would have gotten quite a buzz out of feeling he was with her and messaging me..... like he has two women.  I have no doubt that he is shocked that I cut off contact with him.  I am shocked myself and very proud that I could do it.

Why did I leave him, abuse, abuse, abuse, gaslighting, lies, cheating, humiliation, anger, rage, madness, evil spirits(his not mine!) arrogance, entitlement, rationalisation of madness, ............I could go on and on and on.

Thanks Beth,

axa

[Leah]

Axa,

You can contact your telephone land line company and also your mobile phone provider company and have his phone number(s) blocked or barred on your line(s). 

That's what I had to do with someone in my life and the resulting no contact was so beneficial - no calls and no messages.

Leah

[quietkate12001]

What is gaslighting?

[seastorm]

Gaslighting is undermining a person's self concept and self esteem by telling them that they are just imagining things, or seeing them wrongly. Gaslighting can also be deliberate ploys like setting up a situation so that the person will get wrong information and then telling them that they must be crazy or are losing their mind, something nasty like that.  The idea of it is to undermine the person so that they no longer trust their instincts or perceptions and they think they must be going crazy. Narcissists do this to get control of their prey.

[Lupita]

Don't fall. just be strong!!!!! Just say no!!!! Like we say to kids, "say no to drugs", the same. Just say "no".

[Lupita]

It happened to me two weeks ago that a man wanted to go out with me. He did not want to take me out, he did not want to go to the movies, he did not want to go dancing. he only wanted to bring a bottle of wine and drink it here in my apartment. I just said I was tired. He said I just wanted to go see you. I said it is week days, I am desperate during weekends, why you dont want to see me during weekend, today I am tired, working all day. He said, I bought a nice wine. I said, I do not drink. I am going to sleep. He insisted and I said, can you explain me what the heck for do you want to come to my house so late when I have to work the next day? Ans then he said. I will call you another day. I knew he just wanted to satisfy his lowest insctints with me, to use me, but I knew he was a pig and i was strong. Frieking idiot N, big time N. I smell them from miles of distance. Run as fast as I can.

[Hopalong]

Good for you, Lupita.
Run like a deer!

But maybe, give a kick first? Here's one way:

He said I just wanted to go see you.
I said, NO. Goodnight.
He said (blah, blah...)
I said, NO means NO.

And Lupita's gone so if he's still yapping, it's to the wind....

   Hops

[Lupita]

wow Hop, that is hilarious.   Also your sentence:

That'll do pig. That'll do.