for Mythreedots

[WRITE]

Hi Mythreedots, I was thinking about you just on my lunchbreak, your words have gotten buried so I'll repost what I said then and reiterate that people will support and help you, I know it feels an unbearable struggle now though ((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

*

he has beat me
thrown me out of our home... at night.. in the cold... alone...no phone...no money...
and he gets mad because i wasn't home in bed with him....

dear mythreedots

I am so sorry you are enduring this cruelty and threat to your safety.
You need some support.

but i cannot break away...

yes you can.

It is no harder than what you're doing to yourself by staying, and you know I look back now and it wasthe violence brought me to my senses. I could not lie to myself about it, pretend 'he's a nice guy really' or sweep his problems aside and just live with them.

But I never felt in fear for my life, either. Your husband's violence is extreme and you may need protection and help.

Do you know what services are available in your area?

Yes, when you break away it will hurt to remember the promises and hopes which were not fulfilled, but you can have a much stronger happier life on your own or with another person who has self-control and respect.

You may feel lost now but you can find yourself again and heal.

You may not understand and be able to help him, but you can take care of yourself.

Start with support, which you already have here in bucketloads (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Margo]

Hi Mythreedots, I was thinking about you just on my lunchbreak, your words have gotten buried so I'll repost what I said then and reiterate that people will support and help you, I know it feels an unbearable struggle now though ((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

*

he has beat me
thrown me out of our home... at night.. in the cold... alone...no phone...no money...
and he gets mad because i wasn't home in bed with him....

dear mythreedots

I am so sorry you are enduring this cruelty and threat to your safety.
You need some support.

but i cannot break away...

yes you can.

It is no harder than what you're doing to yourself by staying, and you know I look back now and it wasthe violence brought me to my senses. I could not lie to myself about it, pretend 'he's a nice guy really' or sweep his problems aside and just live with them.

But I never felt in fear for my life, either. Your husband's violence is extreme and you may need protection and help.

Do you know what services are available in your area?

Yes, when you break away it will hurt to remember the promises and hopes which were not fulfilled, but you can have a much stronger happier life on your own or with another person who has self-control and respect.

You may feel lost now but you can find yourself again and heal.

You may not understand and be able to help him, but you can take care of yourself.

Start with support, which you already have here in bucketloads (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I,m going through a bad patch but..... I want to say that once there's some distance it get's easier to feel free and happy to be alive again Mythreedots.  Please be carefmul and get yourself out of that situation.  Find a shelter and ask for help.  Staying will just prolong the the likely outcome and you don't have to stay. 

First.... go to the police and file charges for the assault.  IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM ARRESTED!  I didn't do that and I'm paying for it now. 

Second...... realize that this is going to be a very tough road and find some way to get through it.  You HAVE to tell someone in your life who you can trust and tell them everything.  Don't hide it any more.

Be strong..... because the hardest times will pass if you can remain strong.  It won't last forever. 

Please get yourself into a safe place and have that man arrested!  It's one of the only ways you can get yourself help!  Margo

[WRITE]

Don't hide it any more.

that's it. Shame or embarassment are a barrier to getting help. Please get help.

[kodibear]

 
i do not know how to navigate in here yet...

i think i am kodibear now, or maybe still mythreedots...

i have been to the police, a year ago valentines... we have been thru courts... domestic violence counseling... blah.blah.blah...

this was before i finally came across npd... i knew he was off... but like we have all seen, his behavior was sooooo bizarre...

of course i thought by going to the police, (his rages were so out of control, not just at home, but everywhere,)

i thought i was "helping" him by forcing him to stop and look at what was happening, what he was creating in his life, of course for most people this would be a wake up... all's i managed to help was his rage grow and grow....

i have moved out, i go back and forth, one day there, two away.....

yesterday he invited me to lake... disaster!!!! dropped off to be banished forever

invited back later... 6 pm -all fun and love and coupley!!!

i am way old enough to know better.. i have full support of my loving, sensitive, empathetic, (sp) family...


i have been out... i know i cannot reach him... i know it is not my job... i have never in my life, nor is it at all acceptable in my family...  let someone physically hurt me... no one calls their wives, s.o.'s bitch, slut etc....

this seems to be my problem of not setting boundaries, i have been in pattern of "starting new life" and having to leave it... i am tired of making "home" and losing everything...

i love everything i have created and become attached to, except for N!
i love my gardens and 3 sensitive aussies, i cannot seem to let them go.... thay have become so attached to me... it kills me to leave them with him alone...

i am so tired of talking about, thinking about, wondering about.... i am just tired.....






 

[WRITE]

i love everything i have created and become attached to, except for N!

I cannot tell you the joy of starting over though, not at first when it's all letting go attachments, and realising some fundamental problems, but later, when you're creating healthy things and not having them sabotaged. Do you realise what you can achieve with all that energy and love you're pouring out on someone else who can't work with you? I didn't and I was so scared, but every day I can see something new come to fruition.

And even ex has changed some since I left too!

Believe in yourself just a little bit. You are worth a life well-lived.

I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts from now on..     

me too ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))