One of the things the irks me the most about my mother is her complete lack of boundaries. Her violations are real button pushers.
But here is another boundary problem I have. I received this e-mail today from a guy I know. He has expressed interest in my for almost a year and although I like him I am not interested in having a romantic relationship of any kind. I posted part of one of his e-mails to me back in March and got alot of "better beware" feedback.
What do you make of this: I bumped into him a few weeks ago. We talked. Always about the same sorts of things: science, the mind, the soul. He was talking about the "mind's eye" and the breath. He asked if he could come by and bring some books about breathing exercises. "Sure!" I said. So he did. The last book he showed me was one with "couples" exercises with illustrations of a male and female hugging and "breathing." I didn't really respond and haven't yet. It actually sort of irritated me because I have repeatedly made it clear that I was not interested in having any kind of a romantic invovlement.
Here's part of today's e-mail:
When you were looking at the breath book, you asked me what hugging had to
do with breathing. Breathing is a part of all that we do. It is possible to stop
anything one is doing and do something else, however when breathing stops, life
is at an end and nothing else is possible. It is important that we be aware of
our breathing in all that we do, it is an exercise called “minding the breath”.
Physical contact is one of the essential things necessary for survival. It
was determinded that if children are not held and loved when they are babies
only have a 5-15% chance of survival. The ones that do live are typically
without conscious or remorse and are incapable of showing love or affection. .
They sometimes become psychopathic killers. And virtually none ever adjust to
society. Hugging and loving then are also essential to survival, as essential as
breath itself.
Normally we associate hugging and loving with romantic relationships however
that does not have to be the only way in which we can do this. Shared exercise
has been around for thousands of years and is a method by which to share the
essence of life, breath. It is a way to become one with others that does not
involve sexual activity, or commitment.
Barriers and boundries are for protection from harm. Frequently however
barriers and boundries serve to protect ourselves from what is good as well as
what is bad. It is then, that we should carefully question ouselves as to what
we are protecting ourselves from. If we are protecting ourselves from physical
harm or finaincial ruin we are justified, however if we are trying to protect
ourselves from emotional harm, then we are misplaced in our efforts. Emotional
harm is only in the mind and is a result of our own delusions about what is
right.
Shared exercise is only a small part of the totality of the practices. There
are many different practices to alleviate depression (which we both suffer
from), strengthen the organs, and increase health. We can proceed along any
line of inquiry you are interested. As a part of my practice I am trying not to
have a particular goal or agenda. As a result of this I am free to move in any
direction with the practices. I have my own personal exercises I am working on,
however they may not be the best ones for other people. This will also allow me
to explore areas I might miss in my my own practice as my course will be
determined by others and not by my own self.
The picture that I am sending you is significiant for several reasons. It
represents a balanceing of male and female energies. Since the male and female
are clothed, it is know that intimacy is not required to awaken the serpent. (
Kundalina energy located at the base of the spine and in the pelvic floor.) This
energy travels upward to the brain through the reptilain brain (triangle) and
into the pineal gland represented by the circle in a circle.. Here a single
mind if formed, a union of male and female enrgies making a complete whole.
You have seen for yourself that the combined efforts of two people are more
than four times the amount of one person alone. It also follows that the
combined efforts of two minds and two hearts are more than four times greater
than the efforts of one mind and one heart.
Love, Paul
My last experience with him - the "couples breathing exercise" book and this e-mail irritate me. It feels the same way I feel when my mother steps over the boundaries. I know these are outrageous boundary violations but I'm curious how some of my Voicelessness friends see it. What is going on with this guy? Should I even respond or just let it go. I realize he is NOT going to get my message about being friends. There's no point in trying to explain to him WHY I don't want to participate in these "union" exercises.
I am a little surprised about my strong irritation about his message. Any thoughts?
