Passive-Aggressive Narcissists are the HARDEST to recognize as they often hide behind "excuses", "obtuseness", "pseudo-stupidity", "good works", etc. when everything they hide behind is NOTHING MORE THAN A FACADE!
Examples of Passive-Aggressive Narcissists:
After you've said "NO" to something, they continue to BADGER you in the VAIN hope that your "NO" will MAGICALLY change into a "YES". NDoofus was FAMOUS for this!
Several years ago, before her mother developed Alzheimer's Disease, the three of us were preparing food for a baby shower for NDoofus' younger sister. The mother was making Heirloom Potato Salad from a recipe that has been handed down from mother to daughter for SEVERAL generations, (hence the HEIRLOOM). This was one of the mother's gifts to her daughter who was about to give birth to the first grandchild. While Mom was referring to her family recipe to check for the next ingredient, NDoofus kept BADGERING her about putting celery into the recipe! (NDoofus has a problem about NOT BEING THE FIRST TO HAVE A BABY in her family! That will be discussed in the next example.) Her mother kept repeating the word: "NO!" EVERY SINGLE TIME AND KEPT REMINDING HER THAT THE RECIPE DOES NOT USE CELERY! Did that stop NDoofus?!?!?!? HECK NO! She continued to BADGER, and BADGER, and BADGER!!!!
Finally, I lost my patience and barked: "WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!!? YOUR MOTHER HAS EXPLAINED C-L-E-A-R-L-Y that the recipe DOES NOT CALL FOR CELERY!!! SHE HAS REPEATED THIS EXPLANATION, SEVERAL TIMES, TO YOU, FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR!!!!! WILL YOU S-T-O-P?!?!?!?!?!?"
NDoofus then bats her eyes and simpers: "Oh!!!!!!!! Does No mean No?" Then she simpers some more and giggles like she has done something funny! UGH!!!!!
NDoofus also passively-aggressively PUNISHED her younger sister for DARING TO BE FIRST in having a baby!
NDoofus always believed that SHE SHOULD BE FIRST with EVERYTHING!!!! This included BEING THE FIRST to present her mother with her FIRST grandchild! (NDoofus kept BADGERING her husband about becoming a mother and he flatly stated that he DID NOT want to become a father! He was wise enough to see the handwriting on the wall regarding where the responsibility was going to get DUMPED when the child became INCONVENIENT to NDoofus! She has a HISTORY of DUMPING whenever ANYTHING becomes INCONVENIENT to HER ROYAL PERSON!) When her younger sister and younger sister's husband announced that they were expecting, I saw the RAGE in NDoofus' eyes because she believed that SHE WAS ENTITLED TO BE FIRST!
As the younger sister's pregnancy progressed, it soon became obvious that her pregnancy was high risk and her obstetrician ordered her to bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. The drawback to this type of bed rest is that the younger sister couldn't get up to fix herself lunch, do her laundry, clean, etc. This necessitated her mother, NDoofus and the other younger sister to come over at various times to help out while the father-to-be was at work. One day, when NDoofus was over there, the pregnant younger sister needed to have her laundry done, which included laundering her maternity bras. She gave CLEAR, EXPLICIT instructions to NDoofus regarding how the maternity bras needed to be laundered because they are DELICATE! What did NDoofus do instead?????? SHE DESTROYED THE MATERNITY BRAS THEN LAUGHED IT OFF!!!! She bragged to me, afterward, about what she did and LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY about how UPSET her younger sister was about the destruction!!!! NDoofus was convinced that EVERYTHING SHE DID WAS SO-O-O-O HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!!!!
I pointed out to her that SHE HAS TO REPLACE EVERYTHING SHE DESTROYED!!!!! NDoofus gave me the usual glassy-eyed blank stare, batted her eyes and simpered: "But-t-t-t-t-t-t, they're EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!" I told her: "THAT'S RIGHT, A$$!!! YOU DELIBERATELY DESTROYED SOMEONE ELSE'S PROPERTY THAT IS EXPENSIVE!!!!! YOU HAVE TO REPLACE WHAT YOU DELIBERATELY DESTROYED!!!!!" Her response to that was nothing more than the glassy-eyed blank stare!!!!! Did she EVER do the RIGHT THING????? NO!!!!! She continued to CACKLE, LAUGH AND BRAG ABOUT WHAT SHE DID whenever the opportunity presented itself because she is STILL CONVINCED THAT SHE'S SO FUNNY!!!! (Years later, she attempted to repeat this offense at my graduation when she attempted to rip my graduation regalia apart seconds before the commencement ceremony was due to begin! Her attitude is: "IF I CAN'T HAVE THIS, THEN I'LL DESTROY YOURS SO YOU CAN'T HAVE IT EITHER!!!!!) NB*TCH!!!!!!
Bones
