Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[Redhead Erin]

For myself, I am going to buy a wood burner and make some candles. Then when the apocalypse comes, I can sit in my vegetable garden with my chickens and eat omelettes!   

[BonesMS]

Heya Bones! La la la al te bing ding tic tic deeeee dooooo blllllaaammm listening to some kind of flamenco type music back to jazz

So what do you think year 2012 will bring??? Do we all get beamed up by aliens or the whole oil dependency structure fails and we have chaos while humans reorganize themselves.

Hum, one of my past yoga teachers seemed to think something intergalactic consciousness changing would occur but what does she know that we don't? I wonder.

And what about Korea, I feel have felt that something fishy is going on over there-- and now the new heir. People want to over look Korea like they don't have the strength or might but I think we are underestimating something between Korea and China that area of the world...Add the middle east into that mix although they seem content to blow themselves up down there.

Some new age people say this is the end of a kind of age of mind-control and darkness that the sheeple are becoming less sheep like but I don't a know about thata one.
Baaaaaa Baaaaaaa

Who knows?

[BonesMS]

For myself, I am going to buy a wood burner and make some candles. Then when the apocalypse comes, I can sit in my vegetable garden with my chickens and eat omelets!   

Sounds like a plan!

[BonesMS]

I'm here.  Got on the scale a little while ago and see that my weight is going back up with emotional eating......

[BonesMS]

In today's advice column, the Annie's JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!   



http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/honor-thy-emotionally-abusive-mother.html

[Ales2]

Bones,

You are right on with this assessment.

The advice columnists are completely off base with their comments and suggestions. Emotional abuse (and verbal abuse) happens behind closed doors and steals the self esteem, autonomy, and assertiveness from the victim, which are exactly the skills this person needs to accept responsibility for himself, detach and avoid the abuse.

Can't say enough about how sad it makes me to think that a person suffers, not once, but twice, when receiving bad and ineffective advice.

[BonesMS]

Bones,

You are right on with this assessment.

The advice columnists are completely off base with their comments and suggestions. Emotional abuse (and verbal abuse) happens behind closed doors and steals the self esteem, autonomy, and assertiveness from the victim, which are exactly the skills this person needs to accept responsibility for himself, detach and avoid the abuse.

Can't say enough about how sad it makes me to think that a person suffers, not once, but twice, when receiving bad and ineffective advice.

Exactly! 

Ever since the original Ann Landers died, this column has gone downhill.

With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111230

[Ales2]

With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!

Thanks Bones for your post and this other article. I dont know what the Mothers problem is - maybe a martyr N, maybe bi-polar, maybe something else, but thats almost irrelevant if the daughter does go forward with therapy and getting a life of her own. 

These columnists really suck!

[BonesMS]

With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!

Thanks Bones for your post and this other article. I dont know what the Mothers problem is - maybe a martyr N, maybe bi-polar, maybe something else, but thats almost irrelevant if the daughter does go forward with therapy and getting a life of her own. 

These columnists really suck!

Thanks, Ales!

It's true that these columnists suck because they have NO clue what it is like to grow up with a Narcissist!  Too bad there can't be an Anonymous Advice Columnist to respond to letters such as what I've seen printed in "Dear Abby", "Annie's Mailbox", "Dear Margo", and "Dear Prudence"!

[BonesMS]

It's hard to believe that today is New Year's Eve!   

[BonesMS]

The first letter in "Dear Margo" is something indeed!!!!

http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/closing-down-a-demanding-granny.html

Sound familiar?????????????????

[BonesMS]

I'm not sure who else has encountered this situation before......

One of the social groups I hang out with, in 3-D, has an N among the members.  He tends to be VERY self-centered and self-absorbed.  At one time or another, one of our group has taken him to task for his various behaviors.  For instance, he attempted to use the group treasury as his "personal account" to spend on himself because as the "head" of the group, he was ENTITLED!  The rest of us told him:  "HELL NO!  We are NOT paying dues to subsidize your self-gratification!"  When he lost his wallet, along with its contents, he demanded that his brother take care of it FOR him!  (This self-centered dude is over 55 years old!)

He has been out of work for a L-O-N-G time and often talked about getting unemployment from TWO different states SIMULTANEOUSLY!      How he managed to pull that off, I do not know!  In the end, BOTH states' unemployment agencies have finally cut him off.  During get-togethers, he often complained about not being able to get unemployment anymore and we have countered with, what are you doing about your job search, to which we get NO response.  Other members of the group have given him leads on job openings...one of them was close to where he is currently residing.  He was also given other resources to look into.  I've gotten the impression that he has done NOTHING with the information and resources that he has been given.  Instead, we are given the impression that he expects others to take care of all of this FOR him...which is NOT happening!

Now, he has sent around an e-mail to the group asking us to help him out financially as he is about to lose his home.  (He has been made aware that several members are struggling with issues of their own....medical, fixed incomes, job loss, etc. but it appears that he has taken no notice of that.)  I couldn't help but pick up on the "guilt trip" aspect of his e-mail to us within the group.  My only response has been:  "Sorry......"  Other members have also responded with similar comments with reminders of their own situations that have been discussed within the group.  (BTW, he has been known to borrow money in the past then "forget" to pay it back.)

Personally, I find it annoying what he is attempting to do now.  I know it's supposed to be "Tis the Season" and at the same time, I'm reacting with:  "WTF?!?!?!?"

[BonesMS]

Happy New Year!  I hope 2012 will be better than 2011 was!

In reading today's "Annie's Mailbox:

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-little-distance-can-mean-a-happy-new-year.html

I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the Mother-in-Law from Hell?

[Hopalong]

I like the answer Annie gave...and oh boy.
The MIL is in her own hell, but the collateral damage she's causes is really sad.

Hops

[BonesMS]

I like the answer Annie gave...and oh boy.
The MIL is in her own hell, but the collateral damage she's causes is really sad.

Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I was also thinking what would happen should the husband and child get up and leave when the old Battleaxe starts up her nonsense.