Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1306937 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #120 on: September 07, 2007, 05:28:59 PM »
And I'm feeling VERY relieved!!!!!

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #121 on: September 07, 2007, 05:35:12 PM »
Good Bye to my mother------ Bones
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #122 on: September 08, 2007, 11:49:21 AM »
Good Bye to my mother------ Bones

 :?:

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #123 on: September 08, 2007, 04:15:55 PM »
I meant that you seemed to be saying goodbye to your friend who I affectionately call "my mother".
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #124 on: September 09, 2007, 09:15:45 AM »
I meant that you seemed to be saying goodbye to your friend who I affectionately call "my mother".

O. I. C.

You're right, I've basically have said "good bye" to her.  With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Bones
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JanetLG

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #125 on: September 09, 2007, 09:30:12 AM »
Bones,

My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'

 :shock: :shock: :shock:

Janet

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #126 on: September 12, 2007, 02:22:55 AM »
Bones,

My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'

 :shock: :shock: :shock:

Janet

Good Grief!!!!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #127 on: September 14, 2007, 06:55:21 PM »
Would you believe that "Said Friend" sent me two e-mails back-to-back?!?!?  Needless to say, they both got deleted without a response!  I REALLY do NOT want to have any further dealings with her since she cannot seem to respect anyone's boundaries!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #128 on: September 15, 2007, 10:39:10 AM »
There is one dilemma though.  Several months ago, a neighbor and I committed to a yard sale, in another city, to get rid of the clutter in our homes.  Unfortunately, "said friend" will be at the same yard sale, next week, so it's going to be a bit awkward.

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #129 on: September 21, 2007, 02:12:57 AM »
A thought just occurred to me regarding her passive-aggressive behavior.  In looking at her behaviors from a global perspective, I couldn't help but notice a pattern of what appears to be passive-aggressive resentment.  Case in point:  She always wanted to be a mother but things just didn't happen that way.  When one of her sisters finally became pregnant, she had to go on medical bed rest because her pregnancy was high risk.  As a result, this one sister had to rely on others to get things taken care of (i.e. cooking, cleaning and laundry).  When "said friend" went to her sister's home to help her, the sister gave her explicit instructions on how to launder her maternity bras given that they were both delicate and expensive.  "Said friend" completely ignored these instructions, threw the maternity bras in with the regular laundry, and destroyed them.  How I found out about it was when "said friend" was regaling the incident to me and giggling about it because SHE thought it was funny!

Years later, she tries to rip apart my regalia minutes before my graduation ceremony is about to start!  Then attempts to yank my mortarboard out of my hands on the plane ride home after being specifically told to leave it alone!  This led me to think of the following possibility:

(a) She wanted to become a mother, does not achieve that goal but her sister does.

(b) She wanted to complete her college education, does not achieve that goal but I do.

What better way to passively-aggressively express her resentment against these achievements than to attempt to destroy the symbols of the achievements (i.e. the maternity bras and my regalia)?  This pattern struck me as quite interesting.

Bones
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JanetLG

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #130 on: September 21, 2007, 04:51:12 AM »
Bones,

I think you've hit the nail on the head, there.

Janet

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #131 on: September 23, 2007, 11:17:15 AM »
Bones,

I think you've hit the nail on the head, there.

Janet

Thanks, Janet!

And when she gets confronted about her passive-aggressive behaviors, she puts on the "pseudo-stupid" routine along with the blank stare and glazed eyes.  I think her husband finally get fed up with her yesterday because she called me complaining that he was "being touchy and difficult".  My response to her:  "Whatever" and cut off the conversation by telling her I was heading out the door, then I hung up.  Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Bones
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JanetLG

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #132 on: September 23, 2007, 11:43:02 AM »
Bones,

My Nsister can do that 'blank stare and glazed eyes' routine like a pro.  And anyone who doesn't go along with it is BOUND to be labelled 'touchy and difficult' (I should know). :)

Janet

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #133 on: September 23, 2007, 12:02:54 PM »
Bones,

My Nsister can do that 'blank stare and glazed eyes' routine like a pro.  And anyone who doesn't go along with it is BOUND to be labelled 'touchy and difficult' (I should know). :)

Janet

Sounds like your Nsister and my Nfriend were separated at birth!

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #134 on: September 23, 2007, 12:05:47 PM »
Dear Bones
 .I think that you have the MO of your friend(if we can  use that term). It is really hard to see and face the truth, though.Isn't it?                      Ami
« Last Edit: September 23, 2007, 12:17:27 PM by Ami »
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung