Enforcing my boundaries

[Hopalong]

You are strong and getting wiser every day, Lup.

Perhaps there's one other teacher you could tell privately, it's hurtful to me when there are conversations about immigrants when I'm standing there. I am so proud to have become an American, and people have no idea what I've been through to accomplish this.

Or if there's noone to trust, keep telling us. We'll be here.

Lots of love and strength and GOOD FOR YOU for telling the truth to power (the pastor).
He may fix it in some way or may not, but you gave him an appropriate responsibility to hear you.

Bravo.

love,
Hops

[Lupita]

Here I go. I am going to school. If this jerk makes any one more remark, I will tell him that his remarks are offensive and hurtful and that other teachers are following his example and that is not Christian. Pray for me.
I will keep my eyes opened. Check websites and buy newspaper.
I went to dance class last night. Sexy dancing bad boy was not there. I missed him. What is wrong with me. Like the adrenaline of disfunction.
There were other men that wanted to dance with me, but it is not the same. I was depressed because of my a*s hole boss. I really dislike that man.
I am very sad because of my job. Not only have to battle with teen agers, but put up with the boss. It is outregious.

[Certain Hope]

Dear Lupita,

I am praying that you'll have an excellent, successful day, filled with learning and joy.

Your boss sounds like one of the angriest teenagers who never grew up emotionally. Whether he ever does or not, I am sure that you'll learn to be yourself no matter what circumstances (and overgrown brats) surround you!

With love,
Carolyn

[lighter]

Not everyone's life is this hard, Lupita.

It takes a lot of strength to navigate the path you're on.

Keep learning and growing.... I love that you seem to be feeling better about asserting your boundaries with bigot boy boss.... it is innapropriate and you can say that without having too much trouble handling any response he gives you. 

What's he gonna say?

(((Lupita))))

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
  You "want" the bad boy b/c he is a "drug". We all understand that,I think. It is part of our problem. The 'high" feelings from" the  bad boy" take away pain.
  I had a thought.It may make no sense. . It would be very,very hard to get in to  this zone. However,if you could ever show love to your enemies( bigot) , it will make "shame come down on his head"( as the Bible says)
  I did this with the woman who came to my house --hating me and wanting my H They were jealous of me ( they had not met me) ,but they wee jealous of my circumstances and had joked about me etc.
I managed to get in a space where I was letting God's love flow through me. They loved me  by the end of the night. They told my H  this  the next day.
 I think that your situation would be much worse than mine. It will work, BUT it is so hard to overcome our natural instincts which is to KILL him.
  Whenever I have met hate with love, hate dissapates ,but I do not do it enough at all.
I had a small instance with my S(older). He was being  mean to me. I made his favorite dinner and called him down.When he came down, he started crying b/c he felt so badly about how he was treating me.
   Just a thought to add to the others.I am sorry you are going through this HELL, b/c that is what it is.(((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))))                                  Ami

[changing]

Dear Lupita-
 
I am so sorry that you have to be hurt and stressed in this way. I just pray that these creatures did not rob you of any of your joy at finally getting your citizenship. Please know that I am very excited and pleased about your new citizenship, and feel honored that you have chosen to join us here, and bring your unique gifts . We all need to work together in respect and mutual appreciation!
I respect your commitment so very much. You are working in a very responsible position and taking loving care of your son amidst many obstacles ( and low-minded people). I know that you will continue acting in wisdom and integrity to make your way and handle life's situations in the way that you know is best. Remember that God is in control, Lupita. Just release your stress as best you can, and enjoy the things and people in your life that you love ( don't let extranneous things take over, life is too short!). There is a solution out there and it's coming to you.
Keep dancing and keep strong Lupe.

Love,

Changing

[Lupita]

I am mad, because he did something very bad and he got away with it. I am mad becasue he humilliated me in public and nobody cared. They really agreed with him. I am isolated again. I am alone. He destroyed the little confidence I had built with so much hard work. He broke me. Just like my mother. He knows he has the power. That is why I am mad, sad, and depressed. Because I am powerless.

[lighter]

I know you feel really bad but......

I don't see you as powerless.

Have you contacted the board yet?

You have that option, but just not availed yourself to it yet?

He hasn't gotten away with it, either.

He's still stuck being that pompous bigoted ugly prig.....

and he'll still be that PBUP in the morning: /

You, on the other hand.... will still be Lupita with a good heart that doesn't slap other people around in order to make themselves feel better about being a PBUP, ya know?

You can escape him..... he can't escape himself

[Lupita]

I felt so ugly today. I saw a lot of rwenkles, bags around my eyes, I am 50 and look like 65. I looked so short in front of the mirror of my dance school. I felt that nobody wanted to dance with me last night, I danced with an old old man, with knee replacemente dancing kriply. Very nice man, but I really wanted to dance with somebody who dacned well. When I finally got a good dancer he was tired, or I percieved him tired of me because he was more advanced. I see my rhynophimosis, nose as a clown, and ugly feet. Those hypochristians, I cant believe they are "christians" I am so disapointed!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your words Lighter.

I guess I need to start with my affirmations again.

I am going to check websites now. be back.

[Lupita]

I went to the two counties where I am the closest. Nothing. I checked the newspaper on line. Nothing.

[Lupita]

Daer friends, I need some encouragement to be able to endure th isolation at owrk tomorrow. Theya re isolatine me. Please, firneds give me techniques to endure tomorrow, give me techminiques to have a nice day tomorrow. I want to sing with my students, I want to demonstrating my love to them, fater all, the kids are the onlything that keeps me going. Iwant to sing tomorrow as loud as I can with my baies, my 18, 19 year old, they are kids. I ant to teach them that I am a good person and  love them and I almost do anything for them. That if I did not have to pay rent and eat, I would teahc them for free.

[isittoolate]

Walk in with your chin up and a secretive smile on your face, and sing all day with your students.

Walk in like you OWN the joint and know your way around and you are the CEO.

Yyou have breaks? take a short walk alone and look at pretty things, then go back to class and sing some more.

You'll get through

Good luck, Lupita
Love
 Izzy

[Hopalong]

I agree with Izzy, Lupe.

I think you don't have to PROVE that you are a good person to your kids, Lupita.
Just smile and be open to them, and sing. It will be okay.

Take your own tomorrow back. It belongs to you.
Take tomorrow for yourself, your inner peace.

love,
Hops

[Iphi]

I'm cheering for you Lupita, I know you can rise above.  Focus on your kids and appreciate every great interaction.

When I know people don't like me, sometimes I am extra solicitous, considerate and sweet to them, just to piss them off... but not compliant - that isn't what I mean.  But you know, compliment the guy's shirt, something like that - throws him off his stride.   

[lighter]

Heh... Iphi... 

I had to see a lot of someone, who was ignoring me painfully, under excruciating circumstances, not long ago.

The first time I saw them, I snubbed back. 

The second, ::shaking head:: I just couldn't be that silly, lol.... so....

I complimented them and was thoroughly tickled at a deep slouching "Hmph" in return, lol. 

OMG..... life is so much better when you're not tied in knots, all freaked out.

I wish I could bottle it....

and share it with Lupita....

with everyone here....

with me: /