TELLING YOUR STORY

[sEA STORM]

i wish more people would tell thier story. I am afraid to tell mine because of retaliation from N.  At the same time I want to keep my identity here.
Too much fear.

I hope that time will pass and i will be forgotten.  All he seems to want is revenge.

Sea storm

[Gaining Strength]

Sea - your post makes me verry sad.  Are you stuck living with N? Have you no way out?  I wish soe hope for change for you.  I hope for you the freedom to break free soon.

[Ami]

Dear Sea,
  I have always felt close to you. You seem to have the right word to say in times of need. Your "voice' is empathetic and soothing. I hate to hear that you are so oppressed by the N.
  I understand how your life can become one huge "oppression". Mine has been for a long time--maybe always. I could not move in any direction. I am not saying that you are like that ,inside yourself.Maybe, you are not. I was oppressed inside and outside myself. The worst was the inside. I am trying to shake off the feeling of being paralyzed .I want to feel like  I can move in my own behalf. It is all slow,but I think that I AM moving,at least.
 Sea, Keep posting. That is a movement in itself, even if you can't tell your story for the moment.     Love   Ami

((((((((((Sea)))))))))))

[changing]

Hi Sea and Izzy-

I also post somewhat defensively- I hope to regain my freedom of speech once the divorce/psychodrama have been completed!

Love,

Changing

[Gaining Strength]

When I have told the most sensitive parts of my story I have been "challenged" and it was definitely not worth it.  Where my deepest wounds are may appear to others as somewhat prosaic while for me they are a severed achilles - DON'T TOUCH.  Other parts of my story elicited no response. - Boy that can hurt.  You pour your pain out and here of all places - the only place I can even begin to hope to find true understanding, real empathy and I get ___________________. 

That touches my "Voicelessness" button and pierces my soul.  So I try hard to figure out my buttons and use them to identify my wounds and begin finding a way to work salve into them to effect healing.  When I have begun the healing process then I can share - then the vulnerability is not extreme.

[sea storm]

Thanks for your replies.

i don't live with N. He lives in another city thousands af miles away with his new partner. Howeverk, he said that his kids had read my posts and that my computer was bugged. I am not computer literate. I changed a couple of thiings on the computer and was off the air for a few months. I came back and hope he is no longer interested.

Gaining Gtrength, I am sarry to hear that your story was critiqued mierably. I gues I would like to hear more stories so that I can get rid of some of the shame I have for allowing myself to be so manipulated and dominiated.  I hear your articulate posts and love your vompassion and grit. Hard for me to believe that you could have been used and abused. I know it can happen to anyone. But there is a  place where I can't accept my masochism. I have to admit that I fell very low and got like a beaten dog.

Thank you everyone for replying
Sea storm