Newbie

[mighty mouse]

Guest,

You rock. I wish I had said half of what you just did.

MM

[Anonymous]

Hey P, I forgot to sign off again, keep forgetting to be polite and sign off on this thread. Wonder why  

So for my sign off I feel like quoting the most intelligent, succinct, appropriate, on-target, straight to guts of the matter comment I read and liked here to date, ( besides everybody elses') hahahahahahahaha, (and also, then it's your fault   .)  hahahahahahahahah.

Signed

Fuck Off Somebody.

[Portia]

Ha ha ha ha ha! Hic cough cough spit  ha ha ha ha!  I was wondering last night how to inject a bit of humour into this thread coz, boy, it sure needed it. Ha ha ha! You just made me !!guffaw!! out loud whoops, ha ha   bonk,   head on floor again.

and also, then it's your fault

That’s one thing I really really really don’t mind.   I take full responsibility.  I’m sooooo glad you came over for a look-see.

I'm trying to heal and get over the shocking reality that my mother gave him the love and priority and support that was meant for and needed by me

  Shocking   Reality. Great novel title.

And just one (just one!) quote from the filth-monger itself:

You need to learn that I am a victim too.

 ‘You need to learn’: dontcha just lurrrve that N-speak blame-everybody-but-themselves guilt-trip accusatory nonsense. Ha ha ha! We need to learn!   I’ll just go and put my big ol’ dunce’s hat on and stand in the corner m’am. With the other 90% of the world’s population. Whoof it’s a little crowded in this ‘we need to learn’ corner of the world. Cosy though.

Thanks for the guffaw Gutsy, Gusty-breath-of-fresh-air Guest. I’m off to Q’s Juke Joint (coz I love the name) to listen to a few mellow/rocking sounds before schmoozing over to ramble.   Big *breath out* P  Ha ha ha! Yeah MM ROCKIN'

[Anonymous]

Let's Boogie,

Had to come back and therpise.    

Ha ha ha ha ha! Hic cough cough spit  ha ha ha ha!  I was wondering last night how to inject a bit of humour into this thread coz, boy, it sure needed it. Ha ha ha! You just made me !!guffaw!! out loud whoops, ha ha   bonk,   head on floor again.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah, I'm so la-de-da, a part of me, even in spit hahahahah (I mean) spite of my own M and childhood. Still find it a teeny weeny weeny teeny bit hard to believe anyone like Somebody really is for real.  

I'm still hoping and suspecting this was an urban myth. A try-on to see how we'd react. But then I remember all the sick love-addicted Rosemary West types I've read about over the years and know they're out there.

Hey, I think I might start calling Somebody, Rosemary, if I bother to come back to her pig-swill again. Hey, P, is that how you spell pig-swill?

   Why don't we tell Somebody what we really think fo her.    
har har har har (seal flapping flippers together gaily waiting to be thrown another fish by Somebody)

And just one (just one!) quote from the filth-monger itself:

You need to learn that I am a victim too.

 ‘You need to learn’: dontcha just lurrrve that N-speak blame-everybody-but-themselves guilt-trip accusatory nonsense. Ha ha ha! We need to learn!   I’ll just go and put my big ol’ dunce’s hat on and stand in the corner m’am. With the other 90% of the world’s population. Whoof it’s a little crowded in this ‘we need to learn’ corner of the world. Cosy though.

Yeah, and hey MM, I bet the dog had some wicked part to play in it too.

Yeah well Rosemary, me dunce too, happily. I can learn more off the back of a pack of chewy than anything you could teach me 'lovo'. That's what they call love-addicts in my neck of the woods. A lovo.

But seeing as we're into telling each other what we need to learn, and you've had your say Rosemary, now it's my turn.  

You need to learn that you need serious therapy, note - with a female therapist.

You need to learn to tell and recognise the truth.

You need to learn that you life-pattern-cop-out of your responsibilities by playing the victim. Handy trick if you can sustain it.

You need to learn that you are a stupid irresponsible selfish bitch.

You need to learn that if you're a victim of anything, it's your own stupidity and selfishness and lust

You need to learn that it wasn't your sister's job to protect your kids.

Youo need to learn that someone had to boot his sicko arse out of those children's lives.

You need to learn that by attaching yourself to him, it OBVIOUSLY    means you had to go too!    REALITY DEAR!!!    REALITY!!

You need to learn that you're not God, and you can't monitor jack-shit about what that guy gets up to. Not unless you're attached to him at the hip 24/7. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE, LOVO!  

You need to learn that he could be out sniffing little girls bicycle seats as I type. Oh how revolting of me to say that. How crass and gross. hahahah Off of me wasn't it? hahahahahaha On a scale, compared to what you're doing still supporting and embracing him, it doesn't even rate a score.

You need to learn that you can't try to change and blame people for reacting to filth. Especially his type.

You need to learn that healthy, and hey!   , even a whole bunch of unhealthy people, just like me   , don't tolerate child-molesters at all. Zero tolerance is it.

You need to learn that even according to your bullshit stats 90 out a 100 men would never make such an offer in the first place. Most would take themselves outside and give themselves a good hard slap in the head if they even thought such a thought. Most men are just as sickened to the pit of their stomach by child-molesters as I am.

You need to learn that you are living with a guy who has been recognised by the authorities as a major problem and you're rejecting every truth about him, no matter where it comes from. You're deaf and cold.

You need to learn that you're delusional.

You need to learn that you can't fix anyone but yourself.

You need to learn that you're not a 'mother', in the true sense, or the intended meaning of the word.

Aaah phhht, wasting good cyber space but oh well, I feel good thinking this through.

Oh yes,

You need to learn that more children aren't ever molested than are.

Why is that?

Because the majority (who determine what is healthy and acceptable) aren't like you 2, Rosemary and old el-pervo el-creepo el-child molester.

Hey, some good news. Your child, now, besides your sister, is also the hero in the story to me. I'm a bit slow, but it dawned on me, and then      lightning bolt.

Your child said 'NO!'  What a wonderful thing. What courage and resistance.

Hey P,  no bullshit   , you wanna know what I did? Of course you do, you little cutey. Coochie coochie!!    Tickling those little chubby cheeks.

I lit a candle last night for Rosemary's child. Oh no, Rosemary's baby.    Oh well. Waste of time maybe.    Lighting a candle for the child of a revolting cyber-stranger who might just be a cyber nutter making up stories to post and be the centre of attention. Positive or negative attention, doesn't matter.    

Oh well, anyway,    just in case the child does exist, I did anyway. I thought warm, loving, proud, healthy thoughts about that child, and congratulated the child for making the right choice. And I hoped that somehow it might send the child/ children some gooooood vibes and encouragment. I hoped and asked that the right people would come along as support and guidance for the future. And I asked for a few mates for that single solitary L/A brain cell free-redicalling around in old Rosemary's head.    Okay, time for your medication now, Guest dear!!  

Oh well, dreamin' again, but hey, I'm a latitudinarian, we're like that!  

Back to Rosemary!  

Where is your dignity, and appreciation, and dare I say pride in your child's healthy response to that prick?

Can you stop being in-love with el-jerko pervert child-molester for just 1 minute and think about that?

Look how you are rewarding your child/children for doing the right thing.  
 
You've alienated and turned away from your child, and embraced that offensive turd who made the offer instead.    It didn't happen, not because of el-turdo. But because of your child. Otherwise he'd have bonked your kids little butt to kingdom come.

What a magnificent way you are rewarding your child for being responsible and doing the right thing. You truly and magnificently epitomise the word 'pathetic'. Hey, Rosemary, I suspect you were glad to get the kids out of the house, so you and creepo could be alone and wallow in each other. Maybe you were jealous of her? AAAh? Phht. Who cares. I'm done.    

But, No! Wait, there's more!  

Hey, about something else Rosemary said, one other thing

If he made an offer and nothing happened, then what the hell did he get convicted for      Me thinks I smell a lying rat.    I think he bloody well did do something more than make an offer. I don't swallow the poor-victim-me-bullshit that there is only one classificiation.    Yeah maybe for what he did. hahahahahaahahahah And he's been corrrectly classified. Thank goodness the justice system does work.

Thanks for the guffaw Gutsy, Gusty-breath-of-fresh-air Guest. I’m off to Q’s Juke Joint (coz I love the name) to listen to a few mellow/rocking sounds before schmoozing over to ramble.   Big *breath out* P  Ha ha ha! Yeah MM ROCKIN'

hahahahah Yeah it sounds cosy, smoke-filled and friendly doesn't it? Q's Juke Joint.             Yeah, and 'onya MM.

Signed

Fuck Off Rosemary

[longtimelurker]

Seems to me that a lot of people have missed a great opportunity to learn and to grow.

If one says or does something that one does not agree with does that justify abuse?

Seems like that's all somebody got. and who are we to set ourselves up in judgment above someone else? surely that's G-d's job.

it is very likely that one who commits sexual abuse has also been sexually abused. same goes for all kinds of abuse. the abused becomes abuser.
Now everyone here has been abused in some way (verbally,physically,emotionally)
and we are fortunate in that we have managed to follow a path to break the cycle of abuse. a difficult thing to do. I certainly know that I have been verbally abusive in the past, it was my upbringing after all. I still make mistakes but that's being human.

the way you have castigated somebody on this thread I find incredible.
as I find the line between the abused and the abuser is all too thin at times - i repeat - the tendency for the abused to become the abuser.

I'm sure it has been very therapeutic to all group together and castigate someone, did you all feel good about yourselves as a result?
there's is simply no need to speak to anyone like that, imo.
but, nw will you say, I am simply condoning the abuse with what I am saying.
No I am simply saying that the comments on this thread,which exist because of Richard Grossman, bring the board and the field of psychology
into disrepute.
The field of psychology teaches us that we can change ourselves if we take the pain and face what we have done. It is all very well to do that in isolation but if someone else tries to do that and are condemned for it where does that leave us? if we speak up and know that we will be condemned for it? how will we heal? the behavour will not be addressed and will continue.
Surely psychology teaches us that condemning anyone gets us (as a sociey or the human race) nowhere.
It is through understanding and compassion that we can bring change.

but there you go, I am all too aware myself of any judgement I throw upon anyone else - as it all too often applies to me.

Making a black/white judgment call in the realm of human behavour is a difficult call, and is certainly beyone me.

Anyway, a very emotive thread to say the least, maybe some good will come of it, maybe not

[Anonymous]

Seems to me that a lot of people have missed a great opportunity to learn and to grow.

From what? Please I wish LTL wouldn't be so nebulous.  Vague suggestions like this mean I don't know they're talking about, or suggesting I could learn and grow from. Very frustrating.

If one says or does something that one does not agree with does that justify abuse?

What abuse? From whom? LTL calls opinions and reactions from real people abuse. hahahahahah Reality and real emotions. Suppress at all costs. This is the voicelessness forum. I've been told to deny and suppress and be blind to my own thoughts and needs all my life. I ain't doin' it any more, not even to make LTL feel better.

Seems like that's all somebody got. and who are we to set ourselves up in judgment above someone else? surely that's G-d's job.

Oh no, not a half-baked kabbalist in the midst? Surely not!   Hey, I think I have freedom of thought and speech on this thread, don't I? G-d gave me my mind.  am I to beleive G-d wants me to keep silent. Is LTL the mouthpeiece of G-d. Oh no!!!
So if I can't say what I think, who am I? Do I have freedom of speech. Apparently not.    Not according to LTL. hahahahah damn I didn't know I was supposed to only say what would make Rosemary feel good. she didn't even say that. Sorry LTL, didn't know I mustn't speak My own mind. Didn't know that now voicelessness rules here, yeah!!!

And hey, I agree LTL, to hell with the kids, yeah  LTL. Didn' read you mention them once. I'm disgusted. Yeah, in your silence on this, your motto reads to me "To Hell With The Kids!"

Sad, didn't read you mention them or old el-creepo once. Just us, and how bad and deficient, and castigating we all are. hahahahaahah What Bullshit. I think I'll go and spank myself till it feels good.  

it is very likely that one who commits sexual abuse has also been sexually abused. same goes for all kinds of abuse. the abused becomes abuser.

Not always lovo, not always. Better go and do your homework. Maybe the abuser is you here. Is that possible? Oh no, it's me. We're in a  dance, I abuse you, then you'll abuse me. hahahah Kinky.

[

quote]Now everyone here has been abused in some way (verbally,physically,emotionally)

Well if we weren't before you posted, we have been now. hahahahaha

and we are fortunate in that we have managed to follow a path to break the cycle of abuse. a difficult thing to do.

Certainly is with people like you around trying to get me to second guess myself.

I certainly know that I have been verbally abusive in the past, it was my upbringing after all. I still make mistakes but that's being human.

You still are love, but hey, I'll try to forgive your ignorance.    But you still are, just in a very sneaky insidious way. Oh well, live and let live, that's my motto. Nice ta' meet ya'.    NOT

the way you have castigated somebody on this thread I find incredible. as I find the line between the abused and the abuser is all too thin at times - i repeat - the tendency for the abused to become the abuser.

Yeah, well you would know LTL. I feel abused by you now,   what are you gonna do to fix it?    Cause you're telling me I have no right to speak my mind, and I'm second guessing myself, and I'm doing that even when I know damn well I do have aright to speak my mind.   What to do?    what to do? Speak my mind, and say what I feel, or shut-the fuck up, as LTL would like me to, to make LTL happy. I don't know?    Oh yes I do, I just had a brain-wave. I'll keep talkin' and speakin' my mind. Go with my heart-brain and gut instincts.

I'm sure it has been very therapeutic to all group together and castigate someone, did you all feel good about yourselves as a result?

Speaking for myself, Yes, thanks for asking.  Even though I have no interest in wasting my time speaking with you, and after I finish this reply I don't think I'll bother again.

there's is simply no need to speak to anyone like that, imo.

Like what? to speak the truth. what I really think?

but, nw will you say, I am simply condoning the abuse with what I am saying.

Oh, and now you can read minds can you? No! That wasn't what I was gonna say at all. I was thinking of saying something a long the lines of 'Look, there are pigs up there, flying in the sky!'

No I am simply saying that the comments on this thread,which exist because of Richard Grossman, bring the board and the field of psychology into disrepute.

hahahahahahahaha hic snort bonk, head just fell off , laughing too much. Hang on, hahahah trying to put head back on. Oh no, wrong way!   Never seen my butt from that angle.   Pretty flat and wide. Note to self - Need to do some butt exercises.

Are you for real? You mention G-d and RG in the same post as authorities. Sorry Richard, not bagging you out at all. And not trying to start a fight. I'll back off after this post. Promise. hahaha

And of course Richard, your name could have come first, but thought better say G-d first. hahahahahahahahah I know you'll understand.

But really LTL, are you blaming Grossman's board for bringing the field of psychology into disrepute?    hahahaahahahahahah Hey, Dr G, did you know you were so influential? hey, it's worry, if the comments that I post here constitute the fullness of modern psychological advancement! SHIT, HELP! We're all in deep shit!

Oh I quiver in fear about G-d too. Sorry, wouldn't want to forget her. And hey! (Foot tapping emoticon) Why wasn't I told?    I didn't know we were all paid up members of the APA. Hey, P, did you know you're a psychologist?   Yeah, we're all psychologists.    hahahahaha Cool! Damn, wish I had of known earlier. I'd a been charging. LTL just certified us all. Man, onya LTL!  
 

The field of psychology teaches us that we can change ourselves if we take the pain and face what we have done.

That's good, then take this pain, from me to you, face what you've done to me, and take this pain. "Up your ask"!  

It is all very well to do that in isolation but if someone else tries to do that and are condemned for it where does that leave us? if we speak up and know that we will be condemned for it? how will we heal? the behavour will not be addressed and will continue.

That's if you're trying to change someone's behaviour, LTL? That isn't what anyone here was doing. Oh well, now I'll just speak for myself. That's what you're trying to do to me, NOW! Oh addled one. Re-read and think if you've got the balls and the brains.

Surely psychology teaches us that condemning anyone gets us (as a sociey or the human race) nowhere.

So WTF are you doing in this post. hahahahahahahahahahhaha

It is through understanding and compassion that we can bring change.

So WTF aren't you showing compassion and understanding to me? oh great teacher of G-d's principles. hahahahahahahahahahahaah I need it too. hahahahaha

but there you go, I am all too aware myself of any judgement I throw upon anyone else - as it all too often applies to me.

Yep, hit the nail right on the head.

Making a black/white judgment call in the realm of human behavour is a difficult call, and is certainly beyone me.

Apparently not, you just did it.
And hey, is that still politically correct, isn't it supposed to be coloured and caucasian judgment call.

Anyway, a very emotive thread to say the least, maybe some good will come of it, maybe not

[/quote] Not if you've got anything to do with it, it won't you sssssssilly enabler.

Barf Barf. Bucket please. Wipe mouth. Now LTL, tell me about how you feel about the kids and sis, and what old slimy should do to help them out. I noticed you didn't mention them at all. I get the clear distinct feeling you don't care about them at all. Why is that? No, don't bother answering my questions, I won't be reading your reply. I just lied, I probably will.   But I was trying to make a dramatic exit. hahaha Anyway, I still think if you had of felt anything, after your long winded bullshit here, I think you would have mentioned them, so forget I asked that.

Signed

Fuck off Rosemary

[Anonymous]

Hey, who here has been or has had close intimate contact with someone who was molested, or seriously propositioned as a child for sex, by an adult?

I have known many.

My best friend for years, Annie, became a heroin addict and a whore for years. Molested by her father her whole childhood. Her mother knew, heard H HEADING OFF TO DAUGHTERS BEDROOM and hid in the bedroom and said nothing. When she confronted her mother years later, her mother cried and said sorry. By this time Annie had nearly OD'd over 6 times, and had been a working whore to support her habit.

My friend of 25 years, Chris, molested by his older brother for years as a child. Became a heroin addict and a junkie wholesaler. Hey, at one time, decades ago he was a roadie for AC DC! He ended up forgiving his brother after he became a Christian. His brother was a famous, well-known stunt man. Chris resumed contact with him and because he was now a christian, he forgave him. His brother then went on and molested Chris's son. Chris is now a total mess. Great!

John, a gorgeous blond surfie guy with a heroin habit. He was a friend of my first H's. And a  junkie too. His step-father had fondled his prick one day in the car on the way to the shop. He told his mum. Mum asked his step-dad if he'd done it. Step-dad denied it. John was put out to die (emotionally) as a trouble maker. Onya Mum! You're a champion.

Lynn, a school friend, molested repeatedly by her father,   till she began to like it.  Became the local 'bike' , until she got syphilis when she was pregnant. Oh okay, that's not too hard to handle. But who's kid was it? Dad's?    She never knew. Alcoholic, last contact I had.

Phil, was adopted, then was molested by his adoptive mother's boyfriend. Sadly Phil died a few years ago of a drug overdose/poisoning. He left 2 little kids. The drug-overdose is still under police investigation. Very nasty business.

Kim, school friend, molested by her pre-high school brother. She married a guy who forced into swinging. Last I saw her she was living on anti-depressants, with a little kid depending on her.

Trish, best adult friend I had for years, was molested by her older brother, repeatedly. Forgotten memories, were eventually resurfaced. She was alienated from the family asa result, and turned lesbian and super promiscuous. I still worry about her.

Wilma, ah! Beautiful girl, all of say 11 or 12 then. Her older brother was forcing her to have sex, after school. Why? Because he could. Both parents worked and he was able too!. She attempted to commit suicide at 14 years of age. Failed attempt thankfully. I saw her much afterwards. She was a vegetable. Why is that? Don't know whatever happened to her.

Peter. Oh dear Peter. His father rooted him up the arse from when he was about 8 months old. Peter was a sweet tooth and chocoholic like I'd never seen. And with a 'Lolita Complex'. When he came to live with me, at about 30 years of age, he ran for miles every night to get the 'dirty thoughts' out of his head. He used to say to me, "My old man really fucked me good didn't he?"

Okay, I could go on but it's so depressing. There are more. Shall I continue? So many people I, one single solitary person has known intimately.    It makes me so sad to think about them.  Beautiful people, friends. People whose lives have been wrecked or seriously affected. Who've been the victim of some pervo sicko like Rosemary's husband.

Now, let's talk about child molesters and would be child molesters and their psychology. Or shall we talk about the psychology of the victims? I really don't care which.

Signed
Fuck Off Rosemary.

[Anonymous]

OK, so you tell me to fo and I take my time about it but I finally do that.  Then, curiosity draws me back.  Why am I not surprised to see so much spewing still going on?

You are entitled to your opinion and you are entitled to voice it.  You just don't make yourself look very good by doing so in a nasty and hateful manner.  It is your choice and if you think it's the right thing to do, then okey dokey, but I'm telling you that there's a better way.

You have an opinion, but your opinion does not negate everyone else's opinion (or those who disagree with your opinion).

You are entitled to your feelings and you are very much entitled to express them and to try to release them in appropriate ways.  But not in ways that cause harm to anyone else.  If you can possibly try not to do that, it would be very beneficial to all.  You are entitled to your feelings but your feelings do not negate everyone else's feelings.

You don't need all of the facts before coming to conclusions, goodie for you.  You're just that much smarter than me, I guess.

You know the most morally correct thing to do here, without being in the situation, without empathizing (because you don't "want" to), and without knowing the circumstances, or the people invovled?  More brownie points for ya (is this good enough mirroring for you, or should I try harder).

You choose only to show compassion to the children, so be it.  What I think about that is that this problem will continue to grow across our world if that is all most people are willing to do, and it issss alll most people are willing to do.  That is not just my opinion (but I am probably the only person on this thread who has that opinion, which I too am entitled to express, and my hope is that you will consider it).  I do totally and utterly understand where you are coming from because I used to think exactly the same way.  Now, I would like people who are inclinded to molest to have some way to stop, before they choose to act, and this attitude is what I would like to see the general population embrace.

Ofcourse, you have already told me it's your road or the high road.

But here I am back like a pain in the butt that just won't go away (and I must say, the last poster really made me giggle about the butt excercises!  You have an amazing sence of humour!  I love it!).

I learned that I have a voice and how to use it as gently as possible to  express myself clearly.  Ok, I'm one of those stupid artistic types too, yadayada.

It was the only way to calm people down in the house permeated with hate that I grew up in (is that a proper sentence?).  Or maybe, it's just my nature, I don't know.

I don't always say everything correctly.  I'm sorry for that.

I'm sorry that you can only see things from my children's perspective.  
I'm sorry that if you have been abused by some "creepo" (add any long list of adjectives you wish to this), I'm so very, very sorry for your pain.

I'm sorry that you had to endure whatever it was that you went through.  I'm so very sorry for your hurt and your saddness and your loss of trust in people, as well as your anger and your fear and your disgust and your shame and your total and utter revulsion and rage and any hate you might feel.  I imagine these are things you would have felt but I don't know because I have not been sexually abused.  I have been abused, though, in some pretty rotten ways, and I had similar feelings in relation to what happened to me.

I'm sorry if your mother was aware of what was happening and didn't do anything to stop it.   That made your torture double.  I'm sorry if your mom did not say the things I'm saying here to you, or give you a lot of hugs, or try to help you feel her love for you, or encourage you to let your feelings out.  I'm sorry because that would have made you feel so alone and re-violated.  

The worst sorrow I feel for you is for the absolute indignity that you endured and anything you may have thought yourself responsible for.

There is no guilt nor shame in what happened to you.  It was totally not your fault in any way whatsoever.  The adults involved are responsible.  I'm so sorry and I understand that this was, is, will always be for anyone who faces it, a horror of immense proportion and I wish only to help you, in any way I can.

But there is hope.  When I  chose to reject the hate my abusers were feeding me, I took away their power.

You can decide to do that too, if you want to.
I know that it is not an easy thing to do, but it is very doable.  It, too, is a choice.

I wish I could take your awful pain away with words and give you peace instead.

Ltl, I'm so glad to meet such a courageous, sensitive, gentle soul as you.
Thankyou for having your own voice, and using it in such a kind and empathetic, and honest way, and for trying so hard to be realistic.   I'm sorry for any hurt you endured because of the response I see above here and that's really why I'm back here.  I think it is very important for me to express my appology to you because if I hadn't posted here, you would not have been hurt.  I did try to use my voice but maybe I was really, really stupid to do so in this place.  Or maybe, there are more Ltl's out there who are just not willing to try to speak out for fear of certain rejection and humiliation and yes, verbal abuse.

You are definately not an N anything Ltl, since you are able to admit doing wrong.

I admit, I have my own faults and I have made errors that I do regret.  I'm not going to put them here for them to be exploited and mashed into my face.   I have  dealt with my child's belief (which is not true) that I have "chosen" my husband over her, with her, and long, long before now.  Our relationship is improving and there is healing.  Her healing would go a lot quicker if there was more encouragement than infusion with hate.  And any n-behaviours are being reinforced with a vengance by guess who?

Having grown up in a place that it was rampant with hate, I do think I know a bit about it.  It starts out as anger, it sits, it stews, it ferments, it begins to boil and cooks itself into a rage and if left like that, it will solidify into hate.
Ofcourse, that's just my observation and assessment of it, from watching what happened to my sister and some others I have met in my life.

One of the troubles I am having is that I do love my sister and I wish I could help her.   Ofcourse, that will never happen until she acknowledges what she has done and faces up to it.  I  miss her but I don't miss all of her n-behaviours.  Her problems are not being dealt with and her kiddies are the ones IIIIIIIIIIIIIII feel for.  Because they will not be able to walk away from her, for a very long time, and now, they do not have a loving auntie nearby to confide in, because she -has been banished to hell- for daring to have a voice that differs from the generally accepted.

There are many hard words in this thread and at first, they cut me.  I was stupidly not prepared for such a reception and I do appologize for that stupidity.   I mistakenly thought this was a place for healing.

[Portia guest]

I promise you, this is the truth, I haven’t even read all this page yet, there’s so much. But reading upwards from the bottom, I just saw this:

I have dealt with my child's belief (which is not true) that I have "chosen" my husband over her, with her, and long, long before now. Our relationship is improving and there is healing. Her healing would go a lot quicker if there was more encouragement than infusion with hate.

 WTF????

my child's belief (which is not true)

  ???????????

Her healing would go a lot quicker if there  

??????   we're getting the blame because the child isn't healing quickly enough for someone else's timescale!!!

Dear Rosemary’s child, please join this Board. I care about you! I’m coming to get you! Can you hang on for me? I do believe your beliefs. I will listen to you. I won’t shame you. I won’t tell you what you think is wrong, or not true. Please know that there are people in this world who do not want to control you, or hurt you, or use you for their own ends, to prop up their own egos. I’m worried about you, child. I wish I knew who you are.
horror

Dear all, shall we ask Dr Grossman to block this poster? This is a scary question.

If he says no, we might think we are in the wrong and someone else is right. Black and white, polarised thinking. Not good. But not if we delve a little deeper. After all, blocking isn’t life or death. She can go somewhere else. And, if we have already learned something from this, we can then move on. We don’t need to keep agonising over he same thing.

Hmmmmm. I’ve learned so much from this. It scares me. And it’s made me realise I have some deeply felt feelings about what is right and what is wrong. What is kind and what is cruel. And what happens when people live in N-ridden false selves. That the moral boundaries simply aren’t there.

But this is the Voicelessness Board. To discuss emotional survival. Hmmm. Should we ask for someone to be blocked who, quite obviously, isn’t voiceless? But who does need bucket-loads of emotional and psychological support and help?? Tricky. Thoughts?

We don’t have to be helpless, defenceless. We can ask Dr G. Shall we? Hey! Think a little harder P. It’s not life or death. We don’t have to ask him to block. We can ask his opinion!!!   Shall we?

[Anonymous]

You choose only to show compassion to the children, so be it.

If you can't understand people showing more compassion to children than to adults, there is a big problem.


bunny

[Portia guest]

Hiya bunny.   Can I post this after you please? Your post is spot on.

Dear God, ‘Signed FOR’, I’ve just read your list of abused friends.

You’ve mentioned some of them to me before, I recognise their names and stories. Someone else reading might think you’d made those up, but I recognise a few, I know you’re speaking the truth. Dear God.

I dunno about asking Dr G’s opinion. What about you? Puts him in that position of authority, lots of responsibility. Not fair to him probably. He can say no thanks, sort it out between you. I might.

We don’t have a board prison, not that I agree with prisons. We don’t have a board ‘serious individual therapy’ room. Also the board is not life. We don’t have to be totally responsible for what happens here, it’s not going to kill someone.

I guess like you indicated ‘Signed FOR’, it comes down to the nature of the board. What it’s here for. Is there any more for anyone to learn? Speak up guys and gals. We need some group discussion. No, not Nuremberg. What’s the question?

Examples: Have you heard enough now?
Can you learn any more?
Is it good to keep giving a false-self N more attention? Please submit your own questions. Can we find a thoughtful consensus on a democratic board?

I might have to start of series of polls on this! Or can someone else please?

Just finished reading all the posts and they end with:

I mistakenly thought this was a place for healing.

I say we ask Dr G to kick her butt out. All that empathy from her, and a petulant sting in the tail, piece of shit.

She shames us all with last sentence. Some of us here have had enough shame piled on us.

[Anonymous]

We must absolutely show more compassion for the children than the adults.

But must we show absolutely no compassion for those with such sickness?

None?

How will that help?  That's all I am asking.  I never thought to ask myself that before I faced this situation, I guess.  I did so with my father, but not about this.  This is considered worse.  I agree.  It's sicker.

Get who's ever opinion you want.  The more the merrior.  Think this out, is all I am saying.

What we are doing is not working.
This is happening so profusely that I am appalled and that feeling is what causes me to try to find some kind of solution that will have a positive effect.   I'm not able to solve the world's problems, nor is any one person.  It does take cooperation and effort from a great many to make a difference.

My children are safe.  They are loved.  And I have asked for their forgiveness.  My oldest is still thinking about it and being driven by my n-sis to suffer more than was ever necessary.

[Michelle]

This thread has stirred up awful feelings in me.  I was sexually abused as a child by my father.  Reading the post by somebody might as well have been a post by my own N mother.  It made me feel all the familiar feelings come out

pain

rejection

anger

hate

confusion

horror

shame

guilt

But I guess that is because I allowed her to make me feel those feelings again, I don't know.  

You asked for group opinions on the matter - I don't think there is a place for somebody here.  I have always felt this board was a place of refuge for those who have suffered at the hands of them - not the other way around.  I don't expect or WANT to agree with people here all the time.  We are all different and have our own issues to take care of.  But I need a place where the child inside me can come for encouragement, love, peace, advice, and ACCEPTANCE.  I cannot do that if perpetrators (and you are one Somebody, whether you admit to it or not) live and stink up our air with their bullshit.  I need fresh air in my refuge - to drink it in to cleanse my tortured and crying soul.  I don't need any more toxic air.  Had enough thanks.

In my mind, I feel sorry for Somebody.  But in my heart I hate what she has done to her children and family.  I wish my father could have healed his own hurt inner child - it's too late now he's dead.  I even feel guilt over that.  But again, because I let myself feel that way.  

Slowly learning to take care of me first.   Don't need to worry about "their" (N's, psychopaths, whatever - and their supporters) needs.  Done much too much of that for far too long.

I feel sick now.  
Need to go away from the board for some fresh air.
Michelle

[Anonymous]

We must absolutely show more compassion for the children than the adults.

But must we show absolutely no compassion for those with such sickness?

None?

Actually I have shown you compassion. I have also shown your H compassion by not even talking about him. I didn't get angry with you and I was pretty nice to you. And you have ignored all of my efforts as though they were nothing. I am still being nice to you. You keep trying to get people to focus on your sister. No one here is going to listen to the problems with your sister. If you want to focus on her, you require a different audience. This has been conveyed to you but you don't hear the feedback. Therefore I believe you continue posting in order to get a negative reaction, for a variety of reasons.

bunny

[mighty mouse]

I agree with Bunny. No more attention to the coddler.

LTL, this isn't the place for Somebody.

We all make judgements every day. It's something we have been created to do for good reasons. We have been given the gift of judgement (discernment) by a higher power to be used for all sorts of purposes.

This is a place for refuge. Not a place to give comfort to someone who uses NO judgement in staying with a child sexual predator.


MM