Hey Lup,
Thank you so much. I have a meeting with his teachers on Tues all of them. Yes he has difficulties but he can do it. He has learned all the tricks and found some of his own and he can do it. He especially now is being lazy. I'm pretty sure of this. Could be wrong but I don't think so. He had had a tutor after school with homework for years. He has chores and punishments and he has always had consequences.
The one thing I never do is excuse his attitude with teachers and they were kind of shocked that I didn't. I always make him come to meetings with me also. He likes his teachers and is well behaved in school. I do not clean his room he does. Well I do the sheets and washing, curtains, and things. He has to keep it tidied up. Homework must be done before he steps out the door. This is the first time that he requested to do things on his own. He begged. So we did not use the tutor and he was taken at his (word). I would ask, do you have homework, yes, I'm doing it now. He was in his room with books but obviously not putting effort into anything as it has shown on report cards.
I know he feels very embarrassed of his actions, I could read it all over him, by just looking at him. He did try to make excuses but we nailed him on every one of them and he finally took ownership.
I don't know if the school has labled him. I know that they will not say dyslexic. They say reading disability (general term). He was not diagnosed by the school with it I went out side private for that.
We now are going back to old ways and I know he is a little resistant to it but I think he is really afraid of failing this grade and wants to try everything not too.
I hope Lup he just had a down hill swing for a bit and sees what has happened.
I think he was given less credit then he should have been because I know in my heart that we (school and myself) overlooked that this child knew (how to work it) to his own advantage. We were more afraid to let him fail then he was. He took no responsibility on his own with out pushing and pushing. And this, I believe, was a learned behaviour that we have taught him.
If he falls, so what, he thought, some one will step in and save him. And that I think is really what was in his mind. Could be wrong but I don't think so.
He sees now that when he did it on his own, with little effort, he failed and does not like it because he has no one to blame but himself. He can do it and he didn't even try. That belongs to him.
So we start a new marking period now and things have gone back to how they use to be with, exception of the tutor not coming back, some new changes, like signed, homeowork assignments so I know what they are and I know he can pull this off himself, I know it as a fact. But at the kitchen table and with me checking everything. Tutor feels the same.
He is very capable and has all the tools. She also felt he got lazy.
Lup,
You really need to get out of the school you are in and I pray that you find a new job this summer. That school you are working for now is so stupid. My God, are they blind and deaf. They do not appreciate you. I do.
We need more teachers like you. Real teachers who care and really want to teach. Not one of the teachers has spoken to me like you have. They almost seemed afraid to speak.
Maybe it's the school and guidelines they have to go by. Don't know, but I do see the teachers sometimes want to say more then they are *allowed* I think. And I think parents also give teachers a hard time with resistance to problems with children.
You have a hard job Lup and a frustrating job. I don't think I could do it. Anyone can be a teacher but not every one can teach.
You can teach and you care............
Love to you Lup and thanks for all your help!!
Deb
