Clarifications of the Non-Contact rule

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

Two clarifications of the NC rule:

The intent of the NC rule is to avoid conscious, unconscious, or unintended provocation.  So:

1)   Don’t quote anyone who you are in NC with.
2)   For now, don’t post on another person’s thread with whom you are in NC—unless it is a welcome thread to a new member.  This rule may change in the future. 

Thanks,

Richard

[Gaining Strength]

Another point of clarification if you will.  When someone (A) invokes a NC with another person (B), is it a bilateral or a unilateral NC. 

I have witnessed confusion over this issue.  More than once person (A) invokes NC with person (B) and then continues to mention person (B) in person (A's) posts or writes on person (B's) thread.  Does NC mean that the two should both honor the NC rules with regards to each other?

[Ami]

THAT is a really good point, SS.Does one person's NC automatically make the OTHER person a NC for them?   Good point!     Ami

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi SS,

Bilateral.  The two "should both honor the NC rules with regards to each other."

Best,

Richard

[Leah]

Two clarifications of the NC rule:

The intent of the NC rule is to avoid conscious, unconscious, or unintended provocation.  So:

1)   Don’t quote anyone who you are in NC with.


Dear Richard,

Please, could you clarify "quote" anyone.     I understand that to mean a direct reference to a person, as in writing the NC person's actual name or writing in direct reference of the NC person - on any post.

In particular, as personally, I have endured here on board, a character assassination, with defamatory harassment, yesterday, and in addition, I have been LABELLED as a Philfer.

Simply because, unintentionally, I typed the same words as a NC person -- to which I applied the words to myself only, words that were applied with regard to my own personal experience here on board.

Of course, I am in effect also highlighting that LABELS are not permitted here on the board, as per your instructional guidelines (board rules).

I do feel, I need clarification on the subject of the use of:    " words, phrases, quotes of inspiration from websites, website articles, website links, books, and any other information " in regard to NC with a person.

Also, I feel that yesterday's thread in question:  NC Breach: One Member's Pervasive Discombobulated Annoying Board Behavior is itself in Breach of NC as it is an absolute direct reference to a NC person, me.

Added to which, the content therein is in Breach of the Board Membership agreement, which each member, myself included, agreed to abide by:

You agree, through your use of this forum, that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing,

obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy


I would be grateful for your assistance in all of the above areas of real concern.

Yours respectfully,

Leah

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Leah,

In this matter, rather than my responding to charges and countercharges and the question of what is quoting, it is my judgment that it is best to move on--with no future contact between you and Teartracks.    As such, I am locking the “NC breach” thread.

Best,

Richard

[CB123]

Oh. my. goodness.

This is incredible.

CB

[Leah]

Bumping this up in exasperation.

Leah


With wonderment, as to who exactly is controlling who (with the deployment of 'attack other' script).


http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=8166.0    Wherein, my name is mentioned and my post is copied!!!!

[Leah]

Hi everybody,

Two clarifications of the NC rule:

The intent of the NC rule is to avoid conscious, unconscious, or unintended provocation.  So:

1)   Don't quote anyone who you are in NC with.
2)   For now, don't post on another person's thread with whom you are in NC—unless it is a welcome thread to a new member.  This rule may change in the future. 

Thanks,

Richard



Which I fully accept, and understand to mean, in reality:


>  "do not mention or refer to each other's names in any thread creation, or posting on the board.

>  "keep off each other's threads"

>   with the exception of a thread for a new member


Of which, I have adhered to.

Leah

[changing]

I love the civilizing concept of the No Contact Rule- it is a big virtual universe, and no one need be in contact with someone who they do not wish to- If only that could be translated in 3-D - with its finite space, with children involved between ex-spouses, etc., I realize that it could not translate exactly... I hate the destruction of war, the death ,the injury to innocents and the world beyond the combatants- this is the scourge of the modern era. If only peaceful people in 3-D had an analogous protection device.

[Leah]

Exactly, Changing, that is the very subject we discuss, volunteers at the Women's Support Centre, where I volunteer.   Have you had any further thoughts on volunteering?   Love, Leah

[changing]

Hi Leah-

I have volunteered extensively in prisons and hospitals and engaged in protests against political policies which I felt were damaging to our nation and others, but at present have legal issues and school taking up my time and resources and testing my strength...when these things resolve I would like to help to provide legal resources for DV victims at shelters, and work at legal clinics until I pass the bar. Then there will be new opportunities...

Best

Changing

[Leah]

Hi Changing,

Oh, I was only referring to DV volunteering, thats all.  Truly, I do wish you every success in all your endeavours.  Sounds wonderful, with so much to look forward to in the years ahead.

Love, Leah

[Leah]

Hi Richard,

Thank you for clarifying earlier today:


"people may discuss issues raised on such (NC) threads as long as it is not done in a provocative way."  To disallow such discussion would let people claim topics as their own--this would neither be enforceable nor beneficial to the board.


Best wishes,

Leah