think about FOO now and again----

[Izzy_*now*]

hi all,
I am in touch with the one sister who I thought would understand, and she does, after being patient and numerous emails, but our perspectives, therefore end results, are different. That furthers my belief about my being a Hypersensitive Person. Even though she didn't like some things that happened, she didn't take them as personally as I did,  and beat herself up. How different, eh?

I wrote to my brother to ask him about his wife's broken (not hip as I thought-------femur) and, after surgery, about her excruciating pain, but it left then  After six weeks she was pretty well healed.. OK so he and I don't wrote regularly, but when ever, we reply to, and thank, one another.

The other 2 sisters and I have not had contact for over 2 years, maybe 3? Not sure and do not care to check back to see. I realize that I don't miss them at all. They never played a big part in my life, although when I was younger, I expected they ought to, and that led to feelings of not being important, to being dismissed, to being used, scapegoated, and my begging for attention.


tankd bit zi ewas oin the edgrehid Brifm snf pirew
When no one talked about it, as so-called adults, I blamed them all.

I happened to have a dream last night and they were all present, even my dead parents.... details unnecessary. I woke up in pain, all alone, didn't know if it was dusk or dawn and was just so happy that this is my life without them. WOW! That no contact really works.

That's for everyone, and you newbies, if you read this....totally 'No Contact'.

I still have my helpers come, paid for by his Ins'ce Co, have ordered a new wheelchair, since my smashed one was never found, but I needed an OK. I think after 2 months they believe me that it was "magically dispensed with" (to them) and "stolen" (to me)!

I cannot believe I downloaded an update called Internet Explorer 8 My machine is all screwed up and I've written my lady helper. I need my toolbars back and the ones I deleted are still here. Everything comes with a toolbar these days. Soon there will be no monitor space left. And just with that email and this post, my keyboard is acting up. I cannot delete...I arrow ahead one space and use Backspace. Something like this is more dire than pain.

I have been really caught up in conspiracy theories, JFK, The Moon Landing, 9/11, but for ruining my life I cannot find any references. Alex Jones at www,prisonplant.com is well into this, and he (or maybe not he) produced a full length movie about Obama the puppet to the Big Money Men, and how we are all headed to  New World Order with One world, One government.

Ah!  Yes and the gas chambers are already built, in out of the way America, as well as the portable, heavy-duty black plastic coffins

So strangely enough I do nothing, but investigate on the Internet and "get my theories ' in place! (although I have  found no column to tell me how to reply to mt dead s-i-l, on his side who asked me how she looked and I said, "Probably would be a tad better if the moustache was gone.

'bye now! hope my piano arrivesd sin/l it;dom esddd;'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxa{7











[ I dozed) Sorry! I do doze off at the stangest times, and then I just end the nite and send it all, as is.

Izzy

[Dawning]

Izzy,

You are strong.  You are an inspiration.

Thank for sharing and being here.

Love, Dawning

[sKePTiKal]

Hey Iz... sounds like you're bored to tears! And need some plain old, conversation, to boot.

On the IE 8 - if you have automatic updates on and Microsoft has released 8 (I deliberately am NOT keeping up with that stuff these days)... you should still be able to "roll back". Do you have the system restore on windows, turned on? On XP (don't know about Vista - not going there, if I can help it) you'll find this under Programs>Accessories>System Tools. Bold dates on the calendar, indicate when changes to Windows happened and you might be able to see precisely what day/time IE 8 was installed.

You can ALSO still download IE 7 from www.microsoft.com. This would be your first step; save the install file to your desktop - don't just automatically install (clicking "run") from the website.

Then, consider whether you want to disable automatic updates. (You shouldn't; but if IE 8 was pushed out to your computer instead of being accidentally updated/installed with something else... you don't want it to happen again. I haven't gotten 8 from updates (which are on) so somewhere along the way you got it by accident.)

If you did find a system restore point where 8 was installed, look for the next previous restore date... and restore back to that date. YES... any files you've created or downloaded will be wiped out... so back those up somewhere else, first...and make SURE you back up that install file of IE 7. Always, always, always make & keep a back up whenever doing something major to your 'puter. (you don't know how many times us techies have paid the ultimate price, because we didn't do what we preach!!)

If the system restore doesn't automatically give you IE 7 again... you've already got the install file on your back up and can then start putting things back together again.

OH... one other thing I thought of! You mentioned losing toolbars - the f11 button is a toggle switch for the browser display - push it once and the browser will open up to full screen (hiding the toolbars) and f11 again, will bring it all back. Sometimes, when I'm typing I hit this by accident.

Hope this helps, Iz

[lighter]

It's about time they ordered you a new chair, Izz.

I hope Amber figured out how to fix your computer...... I haven't gotten around to facing mine yet, but thanks for taking the time to send suggstions.

That you've made peace with the distance, between you and your sibs, is a good thing.

Seems you and the sister you were communicating with have figured out where each stands..... and that's OK.

Even though she'll never see it your way.

I wouldn't put too much stock in your being "overly sensitive" though.

That you affected by beatings and abuse? 

You all were, of course you were.

I think your sibs turned out to be under sensitive.







 

[Izzy_*now*]

hi
Well I am back on the Internet. My mail never left but I was totally without a Browser and not able to get online (bad place to be in.)
I was online only long enough to see there was a hoard of questions about IE8.

Another IE8 arrived today, so I used it., and there were updates with it as well, because there sure were questions and problems with the other one.

Because there were updates, they must have had someone working days and nghts to fix it.

I am lost without the Internet. I was so bored, and it was only 2 days since I still had it to post about the troubles.

Thanks everyone

xx
Izzy

[sKePTiKal]

Glad you're tethered back into cyberspace, Iz!

How are you mending, physically?

[Izzy_*now*]

Thanks PR

Well, sitting in the loaner chair for 2 months made my back ache and my knees ache, apart from accident pain. MJ, a physiotherapist, brought the Loaner. Then she brought me a trapeze for my bed and using that, one only hand /arm pull  at a time, to rise up or lower myself,  pulled on my back (spine with rods) I guess and the 40 year old rods  (We have to watch regarding pre-existing injuries.)

I had an awful bout of “convulsive-type” attacks on the roadside and now, on occasion get them in my injured leg, shoulders arms and hands….. tremors----but that is also a symptom re thyroid (as I learned about 10 years ago- so I have a Dr. app’t for a thyroid test and ask about tremors, and ask to have an x-ray ordered of my back when I next go in for an update/x-ray on my leg.

I still cannot move my left leg, the worst pain being in the groin, then side of thigh and mid-thigh through to inside., as well as both knees and this is what I had only in the right knee 40 years ago after the crash because of SCI-- no actual injury, but neurological.

The therapist was to come Monday with a replacement, for the one I “fired” without saying so, but no call. no show-up and I have left a message to call me and let me know what is happening, The one I fired wanted to manipulate my leg long before the okay of the Dr. and I said it was too soon, then the Dr. told her to wait 2 months. (HA! I didn’t go through 40 years ago without learning something!) He just gave his ok last week and had to fax MJ, as I have no therapist just now.

I had a bright idea to not use the trapeze and another idea just this morning, now that a lot of the swelling has gone down to switch from the loaner chair back to my old one (16” width, loaner was 18” width and accommodated the swelling.) In this  old chair (you might remember) the swelling hung over the side and the wheel rubbed on an incision, even though I‘d try to pad it but the wheel turns when I moved so I‘d try to sit away over to the right, useless in 16“ of space….might have caused the infection and loosening the bolt? Anyway, no one has found my old chair and I’ve ordered a new one.

I have read every page on the Internet. and
http://www.internetlastpage.com

I am starting over!

       About pre-existing injuries I read about that being tricky, but I read of one about a quadraplegic, who had a girlfriend and regular sex. Two attendants dropped him and the fall broke both of his legs. Well no point in inserting all the metal, or casting it, just some splints to keep the bones 'aligned up and down his leg in 'healing'. However, they now rattle and distract his girlfriend when they are having sex, and now they have it less and he was awarded $350.000.00


hanging in
xx
Izzy

[Hopalong]

Well the Internet would be lost without YOU, Izzzzz.

I hope you sue them until you can have a mink-covered chair and 14 Fabios to heave you around.

I just wish you didn't have to suffer any of it.

love,
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

OY IZ....

sounds like you're on the mend, but not fast enough! Still, progress is progress.

I had no idea that there even WAS a last page of the internet!!! And to think it contained such "interesting" information! LOL!
Thank god for google, huh?

My early "retirement" is starting to wear thin, on the "interest" scale too. So I'm also looking for ways to stay on top of things, focussed, interested, and busy. I don't need to be nearly as busy as I was when I was working - but STILL. Idle hands, and all that drivel... more like idle brain!!

I'm glad, that you're feeling well enough to search the whole internet! I'll bet you've discovered some mightly strange things...

[HeartofPilgrimage]

Hi Izzy,

Being new to this board, I have not been able to read your posts and completely put your story together in my mind, but I CAN see that you have had a lot of setbacks lately (in addition to your family to deal with!). I just wanted to say that I think there is evidence out there that some people are more sensitive and reactive to harsh environments growing up than others ... but it irritates me for people to call other people "hypersensitive." I think that some people are more vulnerable when placed in a less-than-desirable family environment, and some people can bounce back more easily. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with the vulnerable person's "sensitivity level." This rubs me the wrong way because too often narcissistic people say, "You're just too sensitive" to justify their nastiness.

I personally think that a sensitive temperament is a gift --- intended to be so that we can be empathetic, artistic, creative, reactive to the beauty and glory of the world --- and that a sensitive temperament that is born into a rich and nurturing environment is NEVER a liability. It's when we are born into a starved and harsh environment that it becomes difficult.

To me though, the good part is after we become grown-ups we can pick and choose our environments more fully ... and it sounds as if going NC was your way of taking charge of the environment you surround yourself with. I applaud you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Izzy_*now*]

Thank you hops
I have my lawyer and he is good, as I see it so far!


Yes PR.
I have researched many, many things and am learning  what NOT to worry about, and what to keep in mind, only from others' experiences with trying too much too soon to walk on a not yet healed femur, and I won't even be walking on mine. One gal stopped her pain pills at 5 months and went horse back riding--a real setback, as she broke her femur in 2 places in a fall from a horse. I, however, have stopped the T3s(w/codeine) and use Tylenol extra strength when needed only, and don't ride horses.

Hi Heart (with apologies to those who already know, but this is pretty short, for 70 years of living)

Thanks for visiting. Yes, I’m going through a broken leg, left femur and a corner of hipbone, from a car backing into, from his driveway,  me in my wheelchair on the sidewalk. Mar 27 Oh the pain and 2 surgeries.

That added insult to injury  because I’ve been disabled from a car crash 40 years ago, (1969 with 5 yr old daughter) partial paraplegic, so used crutches and the chair until 2003, when I felt I was too old to use crutches and stuck to ‘chair (I’m 70 now and she is 45 with 3 children)

My quads weakened from lack of use and I began falling down., no pain below the knees so went flying through broken bones from falls, and this is the first above the knee.

I come from a non-supportive dysfunctional family and right now parents dead and 4 siblings left…all of us over 65. Only one sister is willing to examine the past and we can talk about the same upbringing, but the different perceptions we had at the rime. (I have no idea about the others. They won’t talk…and used me for their scapegoat, as I was so sensitive….I took everything far harder than they…like dad’s beating and mom’s supposed indifference.) I just grew up without self-worth etc and have longed to be ‘normal’ as we loosely term it. This sister took in my 5 yr old to care for while I was in hospital a year, but brought her only once to see me.I was very fearful and also??? took it on the chin that she never came back, brother came once,  as well as many others but no one talked about the “elephant on the stryker frame. I was in this alone and knew it!

I didn’t know about Nism until 2002, when I had moved from Ontario to BC in 1998 with an N. I soon discovered the Jekyll and Hyde but had no name for it.. When I did know, I then realized that my daughter , at 20 had marrid an N as well,. (He drove a wedge between us in 1991 as she was brainwashed and unable to hold her own, so different from when growing up.) I saw the similarities and then I realized one sister is an N

I’ve been posting here for quite some time with odds and ends of looking for insight from the gang on board, as well as therapy (which first was when I was 19, to see ‘what was wrong with me’. I have reached the conclusion now, while emailing this one sister, that  my perceptions were different from the others and I always felt alone and left out. Now it makes no never mind that I don’t hear from 2 other sisters, but we all love our ‘baby brother’ the youngest, and he emails, not often, but will always answer mine.

I chose to live and stay alone after leaving the N here in 2002 and am good at the computer, and I write songs, lyrics and music (example http://www.slrkelowna.ca/Will.mp3). I do part time work in website building and maintenance, but resigned a bookkeeping job when I was injured in March, and I am far more content to be far enough away from my family and  No Contact with  certain of them as well as my ex-boss, who just came to mind at Xmas/08. I called him on it, and he has backed right off.

None of us need an N in our lives, even part time.

If this fills you in, okay, but if not, send me a PM and ask for an explanation for what might not follow chronologically/sensibly!

Thanks
xx
Izzy

PS There is a book "The Hypersentive Person". My daughter sent it to me and I fit that, We are entitled to our own opinions, but that explains my being so much more "vulnerable", as you put it, than the others, yet we (my siblings and I) could all be called vulnerable and unable to fight back. to be assertive, to have confidence, and I dearly would have loved to have stood up to my father and said, *I* am madder than hell and I'm not going to take this anymore"---'Network'  Peter Finch