bad dream

[Hopalong]

Things are lurching step by step forward with the legal battle with my brother. Every time there's a communication from his attorney (who is snarky and distorts everything)...my heart sinks and I feel fear. Then I think it through and remind myself that I'm fine, and I will be fine, no matter what happens.

Sometimes I wonder if I can tell something's about to happen. (Got a new communique today.)

I wonder that because YESTERDAY early morning I woke from a brief but strong dream...

My mother was lying in her grand bed and when I opened her door to check on her, my brother had a chair pulled up close to the bed and he and she were deep in conversation...when I looked at them, it was so clear that they were plotting to harm me. (As they did.) And she looked up and smiled at me, and it was a completely empty smile.

Like the famous N "baring of teeth." False.

Not a nice dream. And, seven months after her death...my life is still in turmoil. Her plotting with him was real, and the damage is real.

This is how narcissists say thank you. (They don't. They will PUNISH you for being good to them.)

I'm not upset, exactly...I'm just sobered. Still feeling, the way you might feel about a bad storm, that this is as real as weather and must be survived in the same, no-choice-about-it, kind of way.

Hops

[lighter]

(((Hops)))

This too, shall pass.

Mo2

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

Sobering dream.  No more speculation as to what went on behind the scenes a couple of years ago when your brother slithered in.  It's upsetting and heartbreaking, but hard facts are easier to deal with than speculative hope.

Then I think it through and remind myself that I'm fine, and I will be fine, no matter what happens.

This is a fact too.  Hold on to it.  It's true.  You will be fine.

tt



 

[bearwithme]

(((((Hops))))))

I'm sorry for this.  I'm sorry that it is so true what you have stated here: that "they PUNISH you for being good to them."  This sums it all up for me.  I have proof of this and now you have said this truth, and so be it.

You are fine.  I'm sure of it!  Keep pluggin' along cause you have somewhere to go.

Bear

[sKePTiKal]

Hopsy...

the more what you experienced in those relationships becomes "like the weather"... the freer you are from the effects of it. I think - now - that we might always have "tendencies" to react defensively when we're reading situations that seem horribly familiar, or while we're extricating ourselves from whatever, with whomever...

but as long as your unconscious can speak to you so clearly, you've got a "leg up"; an edge... at remembering how best to care for yourself, as you continue moving forward. For me, the hard part is remembering that I can protect myself (in a positive fashion)... that I can "take care of me first"... and yes, that everything is fine. The "emotional processing" part of caring for yourself is being shared with the part of you, that brought you the dream. And that's a really helpful thing.

((((hugs))))

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Mo2, TT, Bear, and Amber...

It's really odd how deeply this dream hit me.

I appreciate the perspective and encouragement.

I just hope it doesn't "presage" anything, not that I usually give that much credence...

Just an unpleasant heavy feeling that's stayed with me about it.

Maybe it's just a reminder of how ugly a fight there may be ahead.

I can't believe I'm going to court again (not sure when it'll be--probably months ahead).

It's sad and ugly and unecessary.

My attorney and friend-advisors think it will turn out well, but you never know what can happen.
My brother's lawyer distorts things and clearly won't mind saying anything about me, however false.

It upsets me a lot to think of exposing myself to that. But the only way to avoid it is to leave the
house, give up, or pay my brother tens of thousands more than is fair.

Scary to fight, but I'm going to.

Thanks again...

love,
Hops

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

I'm not an expert, but I don't think your dream was to foretell.  I think its purpose was to confirm that what you thought all along really did happen. 

Stay focused and strong. 

tt


 

[Sealynx]

Hops,
Lawyers I have known try to intimidate you if they think you have a leg to stand on. They want you to believe you have no chance. It is all part of the game of Law which I have ZERO respect for (having lived through a suit over a minor accident that killed my father and sucked the equity out of my mother's home).

 The fact that your dream shows your mother in bed is interesting. It tells me that her "wellness" or competency could be brought up by you if that would help the case. It doesn't matter if she was or was not competent. Truth doesn't matter in a courtroom, appearances do. It is all about who tells the best story. Juries don't like to think of someone sitting at a bedside possibly schmoozing a dying woman for personal gain.

Since most suits are settled in out of court negotiations, it is all about intimidating the other side with what you "might" do. Normally if they think there is a chance in hell that they will lose, they are very willing to bargain.

Good luck.
S

[BonesMS]

Hi, Sealynx.

Having been on two juries in civil cases, I do dig for the truth while analyzing the evidence given to me.  That may put me in the minority.......

Bones

[Sealynx]

Hi Bones
If my dad's case had gone to court, we had video footage of this woman (who was supposed to be in terrible pain) walking around just fine. That should win the case right?

However, her lawyer moved to suppress the fact that my father was dead, as well as the fact that my 85 year old mother had no income. In doing that he also suppressed any discussion of my mother's ability to pay. Since the jurors might assume (as is always shown in TV ads) that they were suing an insurance company, we couldn't risk going to court. Few if any jurors would vote to take an innocent 85 year old woman's home because of a minor accident her husband caused that killed him. But if you had been a juror on that case, you would have never known what you were doing.

In retrospect, we needed a lawyer who played as dirty as he did. Sad.

[teartracks]

Hi Sealynx,

Your take on the dream is very interesting and well may be a valid prompt for Hops et al to use in future negotions.

Lots of heads up for you here, Hops!  That's a good thing!

tt

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones
If my dad's case had gone to court, we had video footage of this woman (who was supposed to be in terrible pain) walking around just fine. That should win the case right?

However, her lawyer moved to suppress the fact that my father was dead, as well as the fact that my 85 year old mother had no income. In doing that he also suppressed any discussion of my mother's ability to pay. Since the jurors might assume (as is always shown in TV ads) that they were suing an insurance company, we couldn't risk going to court. Few if any jurors would vote to take an innocent 85 year old woman's home because of a minor accident her husband caused that killed him. But if you had been a juror on that case, you would have never known what you were doing.

In retrospect, we needed a lawyer who played as dirty as he did. Sad.

Lawyers can be DIRTY!!!!!   

Bones

[Sealynx]

Yes TT,
Once you come unhooked from the backstabbing that you know to be true and realize that most people are more likely to believe in manipulation of the elderly than an evil N (which we all know most don't understand), the tables turn.
S

[teartracks]

Sealynx,

Excellent point.

tt












1

[CB123]

Hops,

I think the dream tells you more about what you are worrying about than it does foretell the future. 

What it says to me is how GLAD I am that you are free of that woman.  This is the mop-up for a lot of heartache that she dished out while she was alive.  I wish it was over--but it will be soon.  This dream is just proof of how anxious you still are about the outcome. 

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with your creepy brother.  You can do it.

Love
CB