My response to TwoPenny post about friendships:
Just put it here so I don't hijack her thread.
People have different styles.
I mean what is a friend...it's just a relationship that maybe doesnt have the same depth of entanglement as family of origin stuff--and without the intensity of romantic/love/sexual relationships.
I'm not too excited about labeling you over sensitive---but Nah I wouldn't take any of it personally. People are random and have
distractions, sometime people befriend with a motive and once it's fulfilled the friendship isn't relevant anymore etc.
Maybe it's some of both, a little bit you and a little bit them.
I've only had a few long-term friends. Lots can change in life. I find that my own maturity has lead me to not identify sometimes with friends that I had when I was younger. Also for me, some of my friends from highschool etc. They are doing so well, married to doctors, go on sail boat outings, buy their second house etc. Often times I just assume they won't like me because our life experiences are maybe too different. People evolve.
There are people I know from high school who have best friends....you know they are each other's bride maids and they have been friends for years. Maybe I just moved too much or maybe it is my social avoidant things.
To me it seems that when people are in high-school or college there is more openness in forming friendships or something. It seemed like meeting people just happened back then. Spontaneous events that were fun...going over to somebody's house and having a sleep-over etc.
I feel like older people sometimes with children or without get very self involved with all the details of family OR the details of work. Maybe people really are busy. Who knows.
But no, people ARE random....
Sigh, I spend energy just trying to keep people away from me. I just want to relax. I live with a bunch of meth addicts and alcoholics and one person that I get a weird pedophile vibe from...and then there is the person who jumped out the window...and was taken away in ambulance. I've been on major KEEP TO MYSELF MODE...I know they are all people too but I'm just not interested in it. I've been playing KEEP AWAY.
I would like to be around people that I no longer feel like I'm working so hard to keep at a distance. Just the (waiting to exhale) feeling. They do exist. It's hard for me to meet people though. Maybe I should make more effort
Oh well, cest la vie. It was a good question. I've wondered it also in the past probably because I envy people who have life long bride maids friends.
The people I know who have had long term friends are better at creating that friendship space. I just don't have that...when I meet people...I'm stand offish. I can't help it it's just how I see the world and feel I guess. I guess I assume that they don't like me and I'm not sure if I really like them etc. It sounds childish.
Some people are so good at approaching others with a friendly vibe.
What is the friendship space anyways? You know it's like a certain atmosphere that one or more people create/embody that is pleasant, inviting, easy.