Amber:
It's really difficult to get to the other side of the void. The way OUT can be many things... wrong ways are abundant. Getting stuck in the void, finding the wrong exit, getting stuck back in old coping strategies, and making the wrong turns INSIDE the void. It's complicated.... hard to be in the void, and process through it.... no right way... just OUT the right end. Good to have a teacher to keep us on track, reassure us through the rough patches, and steer us back on track when we veer off course. Yes.
I'm guessing BEING in the void can begin to feel like comfort, and home. Identifying the void as our place in the world, as WHO we are, and what we're doing.... tough tough tough. I'm tired of the void, and want something new. Wanting it, and getting it, are two different things.
I'm guessing that it's rather a relief for those of us who've lived thorugh super crisis, the void can be a relief in some ways. To exit crisis, and remain in the place that got us THROUGH the crisis... ready for the next one..... feeling in control, but suffering bc of being there.
And there are people who've DONE this, their books are touchstones.... words fig. clicking their fingers in front of our eyes, reminding us to TAKE our attention from whatever it is that HAS us, keeps us mired.... clicking to get our focus back on task, and keep bringing it back to that place.
For me, it's a balance of living outside my issues, and calming my brain and CNS DOWN, so I CAN deal with the past eventually. To create, and allow circumstances to give my brain the opportunity to file that information where it needs to go. The brain is super efficient and constantly trying to complete the work if only we provide opportunity... then it's done in under a second. Just DONE. Poof. Like magic, but not magic at all. More science, and chemistry, and the knowledge we have power over our biology. We have neuroplasticity. Our heart rate, and ability to fluctuate, matters. Our vagal system is important in ways we're still discovering.
If we want to take control of our lives, we find the teachers who explain things in the way we understand, and we keep practicing.
Since I landed on this board it's been interesting to see posters GET information from one, but not another, bc of the way information was shared, or how it was explained.
Sometimes posters don't seem to hear, or SEE anything, no matter how many posters explain, and attempt to share information. I can honestly say I'm sure I've BEEN that poster, and I can say I've identified posters I perceived to find comfort in not knowing, or understanding or making different choices.... and that's OK. It has to be OK. I learned from it, and I still learn from it. I can't judge it, bc it's my story too. What happened that I made the leaps, and I've made leaps. There's no denying it.
This last leap includes connecting connection between the little leaps, and seeing how they interact, and make lasting change possible. Breathing, biology, engaging the frontal cortex by unhooking the alarm bells/fight or flight system that comes online without knowledge......... just SEEING it, and DOING it, with mindfulness, and with all the smaller leaps... connecting dots, breathing, biology, SEEIng how we can control it, and bring real lasting change. And doing it over and over and over, despite backsliding and crisis, and despair, and doubt. Just going back to the basics, and walking through the steps..... finding those touchstones, and touching them. One. Two. Three. Four. Over and over, till it's habit, and new pathways are forming.
I think some of the brain balancing stuff, regarding resistance and unconscious belief systems, will be helpful soon. Once I get some of these practices down.
Lighter