Author Topic: March 17th  (Read 704 times)

Hopalong

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #30 on: April 13, 2019, 09:17:25 AM »
I'm so happy to hear that, Garbanzo Boat that Floats...

I wonder if there is an Etsy thing that would inspire you and make you money.
You have always sounded to me like such an artist.

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #31 on: April 14, 2019, 02:16:39 AM »
Heyo Hops.  :)

Probably more of a hobby than anything else. Not that great at it sometimes. I sure made a great mess today.

There are about 13 containers of paint, multiple recycled salsa jars, sour cream and ricotta tubs filled with various colors all on top of a plastic drop cloth in my "living room". 

Hopalong

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #32 on: April 14, 2019, 07:31:37 PM »
Sounds like an awesome, creative mess!
"Great" is in the eye of the beholder.

So happy you're enjoying this.

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #33 on: April 27, 2019, 02:09:36 AM »
Tired up late, have compared two paper print outs of the same Proposed Treatment Plans (dental) showing me totally different costs for the exact same procedures. Comparing these dental office print outs to the insurance web info that is supposed to cover 80% and doesn't look like it is. Yep this is what I am doing with my Friday night.

Bleh too tired to fight right now.

Hopalong

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #34 on: April 27, 2019, 10:18:50 AM »
Hey Boat,
I don't know about where you are, but in my city there is a Board for the Aging (50 up, I think, but they're flexible). You can call them and make an appt with an insurance advisor, who'll help you navigate something like that.

How maddening!!!
Hope you're soon able to get it sorted out.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #35 on: May 05, 2019, 04:35:31 PM »
I'm at the beach trying to do voice recognition on my phone staring at a seagull, brought a self-help book with me of course. title the body keeps the score brain mind and body in the healing of trauma. I had to get out of the house because last week I was been binge-watching hours of art lectures on YouTube. Which is okay it was interesting Inc my life has been kind of void of culture or enrichment or something.but still it was starting to feel like a depressive slump. thought I was over these self-help book phase I feel like they contain similar information and antidotes and all that but it doesn't really change a person's life circumstances it's just information. At the same time it is a source of validation I guess if that's what a person needs.

Twoapenny

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #36 on: May 06, 2019, 05:15:19 AM »
I stopped reading self help books for just the reason that you describe, G, I felt that however hard I tried, nothing I did seemed to change my external situation.  I still feel like that now. I've worked very hard on myself and my life for many years now but I'm still alone, still skint, still not doing anything that I really want to do.  I feel like I am always making the best of situations, rather than living through choices.  People often talk about accepting your situation but I always wonder where the line is between acceptance and resignation - at what point is it graciously accepting things are what they are and at which point is it just giving up and not trying any more?  It's a question I've never been able to answer for myself.  I find the beach incredibly soothing, though (as long as there aren't too many people there!).  But just the sound of the waves and watching the tide come up and then recede - I love that.  And seagulls!  I love watching them stamp their feet on the grass to bring worms up; it just always makes them look really cross :)

The art lectures sound interesting, though, but I know what you mean - however educational it is, you do get to a point where you feel like you need to move yourself xx

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #37 on: May 07, 2019, 12:03:46 AM »
@ Two

same mostly alone if honest and yes just making the best of it

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #38 on: May 10, 2019, 04:39:39 AM »
I've been home just watching TV. Staying up too late. Being worried. Resenting the idea of going back onto someone else's time schedule. I feel like I am in some time vacuum black hole. I've been thinking of people from high school, old family friends. Tripping out on how old my parents are. I'm in a dark mood for various reasons. I'm tired of going and going and going and it all being pretty pointless except for the piggy bank. I should be somewhere on vacation but I don't feel too motivated. Who goes on vacation alone? I guess I could yeah but I don't want to.

Now that my grandmother past away her husband is having more or less constant illness as well. I live far away I only have to hear about it I am not there. Per usual I am not close to him either. It's still creepy old age is. I feel like people who have had kids mark their lives based on their kids development. I don't really mark my life at stages, I simply am amazed at how much time has gone by.

Twoapenny

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #39 on: May 10, 2019, 07:41:49 AM »
Time does fly by, G, and I find it's going quicker the older I get.  I think it's very hard when you've always worked very hard - not just in the physical sense of work (ie, what you get paid for) but also when you've had to work hard at coping with things that have happened and/or other people - that invisible work that's so draining and time consuming but doesn't really show anything tangible at the end.  You get through it, and it might make you a better person (I don't think that's necessarily always the case, I feel I am more cynical and worn out because of it all) but it doesn't feel like there's a big achievement you can show off to everyone.  And I think that's hard in our materially focused society.  I struggle with knowing I've worked for thirty three years and if I sold everything I own I'd probably make a few hundred pounds.  So I get where you're coming from.  It is tough.  And I think losing people makes us re-evaluate where we're at, even if we weren't that close to them, you know? xx

Hopalong

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #40 on: May 10, 2019, 11:34:07 AM »
I hear depression coming, BoatGarbanzo friend.
I hope you'll take warning and hie thyself to some counselor for regular visits
until you get through this transition, whatever shape it takes.

I understand your drained feeling at the idea of hitting the bricks again.

How can you take care of yourself emotionally now, other than being alone?

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2019, 02:37:03 AM »
@ Two, yep exactly a forced re-evaluate type of moment in life.

@ Hops,    :P   I'm reluctant to use the D word too much. It has it's roots. Roots in a lot of things I guess. When I get a new routine I will be too busy to feel anything! Whoopee. Besides what's wrong with watching TV and hiding from the sun :P

Maybe I will just call it a sad/bored/reality strikes back combo.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2019, 02:41:07 AM by Garbanzo »

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #42 on: May 12, 2019, 04:59:25 AM »
its about two AM, was looking for something interesting to watch so i got the list of Sundance films, there was one named Burden, couldn't watch it on Amazon so i found an adjacently named but different film called  THE Burden which is in Swedish, some kind of stop motion animation, auto-tuned musical about monkeys working in call centers (well other places too) its just the call centers that were most poignant to me.


Twoapenny

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #43 on: May 12, 2019, 09:06:20 AM »
its about two AM, was looking for something interesting to watch so i got the list of Sundance films, there was one named Burden, couldn't watch it on Amazon so i found an adjacently named but different film called  THE Burden which is in Swedish, some kind of stop motion animation, auto-tuned musical about monkeys working in call centers (well other places too) its just the call centers that were most poignant to me.

Very apt for you, G, and it's hard, isn't it, you know what you don't want but what you do want is often out of reach (and when I say you I mean people in general, not just you specifically :) ).  I love stop motion films, I will have to have a look for that one, did it have sub titles as well or is it just music all the way through? xx

Garbanzo

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Re: March 17th
« Reply #44 on: May 13, 2019, 12:28:22 AM »
Here is a different film by same lady Niki lindroth von bahr this one has some English sub titles:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7KIsGq3XVw   

This one only French unless you pull it up on Amazon w/ Prime and there is a version with English subs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMB4ZJ4Xqjo

https://www.amazon.com/Burden-Niki-Lindroth-von-Bahr/dp/B07BHZTSS3/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=the+burden+swedish&qid=1557721854&s=gateway&sr=8-2
« Last Edit: May 13, 2019, 12:31:37 AM by Garbanzo »