My youngest sister has a narcissistic personality disorder. No one has diagnosed her and that is where the problem begins. We are blessed to have 11 siblings who all get along. We love each other very much. I am not saying there is never drama between siblings, but not the kind that my youngest sister causes on a daily basis. If you met her, you would love her, most people do. We all love her. I am the oldest and right now, on my sister's good side. Our mother has been through a lot of hardship in the past years, but the games my sister plays with her is taking its toll on her.
My mother and father were child hood sweat hearts and loved each other deeply. My dad died of a massive heart attack on a golf course at age 56. My youngest brother got cancer in his lymphoid and died 14 months later. My dad's sister died of ovarian cancer 7 months after my dad and my mom lost her mother the year after that. My dad's mom outlived ALL of her children and had a stroke on my Aunts death bed, leaving my Uncle and mom making decisions about what to do with their mother-in-law. It threw the 2 of them together and they married a year later. See what I mean about my mom being through a lot? Not to mention my mother's mom had a nervous breakdown when my mother was a child and my mother had to do a lot in her absence of getting well.
My sister blames my mom for allowing her, at age 26, to marry a man that hit her 3 weeks before the wedding. My mother had them both go to counseling and she would not tell my dad if they did this. They did, but it came out recently that my dad in fact did know about the black eye and figured my sister was old enough to make her own decisions on who to marry, so he did not allow my brothers to have a talk with her future husband. She was divorced 2 years later and married another man who she claims never has sex with her, even though they share 2 sons. Now she is divorcing this man. She has convinced my mother he is an evil man even though she screams at him and humiliates him in front of us. It will be a “War of the Roses Divorce”. We all loved this guy. It takes 2 to make or break a marriage, so I am sure he is not without blame, but living with a PD cannot make for a good marriage. My sister this time is blaming my other sisters for causing her problems. “The Abusers Tricks” has all the information on what my little sister does and the games she plays. I will not bore you with the details. My sister's mission in life is to cause havoc in the family to keep my mom focused on her. She claims that my mom is her best friend and she is closer to my mom than any of us. I was with my mother when my sister hung up on her because my mother asked her the wrong question after my mom's breast cancer surgery. Some best friend. My mother cried so hard that night and told me she wanted to die because NONE of us kids can get along with my sister. My sister has convinced my mom that she has 200 friends on Face Book, but the 10 of us find fault with her. My mom is giving up and wants to be with my dad and brother. It is very frustrating to say the least. She is so awful toward my mother one minute and so loving and caring the next. No wonder my mom is confused and refuses to see a PD in my sister.
My father was the kind of man that would take care of all problems in the most intelligent, stern, loving way, even though you may not have thought so at the time. He was a problem solver. My mother and step dad do not interfere with each other's children and my step dad has to put up with a lot because of the games my youngest sister plays constantly. My sister is 45 years old, I am 53 and the majority of the other siblings fall between, with the exception of a couple of step sisters. I know my mom just wants peace and for us all to get along. I am willing to walk on egg shells with my sister and ignore her fowl behavior but a few others of my siblings have had enough and feel mom should put her foot down and stop making excuses for my sister. My mom is 72, going through radiation treatments and is worn out. She wants us to solve the problem, which is what brought me to this site. I need help! My dad would know what to do, but he is no longer with us, I need help. My sister is about to move back to our home town where most of our siblings and parents live. One of my sister's tricks is when she needs help, she finds out when one of my sisters is doing something or going to something and picks that time to ask for help. When they tell her they have plans but will help any other time or day, my sister says no, then calls my mom to tell her how they say they would help but never do. She manipulates another sister by phoning her and yelling at her and when she finally yells back, she then calls my mother to tell her all the evil things my other sister has said, leaving out the part of how she provoked the situation. It is as if she knows everyone's weaknesses and capitalizes on them. I love my sister, but I don't like what she does to our family, especially our mother. What can I do? There has to be something. My brother is willing to help me confront her, because we seem to be the ones that are willing to walk on the most egg shells. I feel my mother fears that my sister may have some of the illnesses of her mother and she just can't face another child being lost whether to cancer or PD. My parents have 30 grand children between them. There is so much joy in our family except for manipulation of one causing so much turmoil. Please help. I need ideas, books to read, advice, and help. Please help!
