Interesting article on Facebook and narcissism

[sunblue]

I think it's true that social media channels, in general, have allowed narcissists to extend and loudly demonstrate thier narcissiistic characteristics.  It's evident not only in their need to have the largest networks on these channels but also in the frequency and type of updates they share with their friends and followers.  It's ironic since the initial objective of all these social channels was to encourage and drive dialogue between friends and networks.  But instead, when analyzing streams of many social media users, updates are narcissistic reflections of their lives.  These narcissistic-focused users rarely use the channels to initiate conversation about others or sincerely engage them.  Instead, any comments or replies they post are intended to focus the spotlight back on themselves.  Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, even LinkedIn are channels that are filled with narcissists who have been given a new, more public vehicle, to flaunt their "look at me" needs for attention.

Like many, I regularly use these channels, mostly because I need to maintain and grow a presence on these channels for professional purposes.  But I have also found that with the most social of these channels----such as Facebook---it is a real effort for me.  Since I'm not Narcissistic and since I abhore narcissists because of my family history with them, I find it difficult to share details about myself with others.  It's difficult for me to accept that others, even those who are my social friends or followers, are interested in what I've been doing or what I'm sharing.  So sharing in this social manner is a struggle for me.  I think my challenge is directly related to the life-long struggle I've had being raised by a Narcissist.....but I would agree that which social media hasn't created narcissists, it certainly provides them the forum to expand their narcissism in very public forums---which just feeds the illness.

As for the research that young people are now more focused on self-esteem...and essentially self, I would agree that's true.  Online social channels, for many in this younger generation, is replacing face-to-face relationships which is more dependent on give-and-take kind of communication.  Personally, I see the consequences of this trend in the workplace where young workers seem to be more entitled and more focused on only themselves, rather than in being part of a team.

However, I don't see any indication that this might change.  This is now the way of the world and I only see social channels taking on a bigger role in both personal and professional interactions.  Look around.  Everyone's gaze is downward, toward their smartphone or tablet where they're checking their FB stream or sending out a tweet.  Rare is the circumstance when someone reaches out to have a one-on-one conversation.  These social channels are creating an entire new way of relating.  There are many benefits to the new technology today, but I think they have veered quite far from their initial objectives---which was to foster collaborative dialogue, to maintain and grow relationships.

Just my two cents.

[Twoapenny]

I thought this was really interesting.  I use Facebook but have certain people's profiles blocked from my newsfeed because they update constantly.  I think part of the problem is the sense now that if the technology is available we should use it, whether it's necessary or not.  For example, now you have these Blackberries and you can, very quickly and easily, list where you are, who you're with and upload pictures of what you're doing, all as it's happening and within a few seconds.  Go back twenty years - how many people, if they were out having a drink with friends, would have gone to a phone box to call 150 people to tell them where they were and then rushed off to get their pictures developed and posted them to everyone they knew?  A lot of what's on there is pointless c**p - some things are funny and my friends are a mostly supportive bunch who write nice comments and share articles, which is what I like about it.  But I've had friend requests from people I know (old school friends, for example) who I've accepted but then had no response from when I've emailed to say hi, how are you, what you been up to for the last twenty years.  What's all that about?  I've also de-friended people who have written unpleasant things that they know would offend me (if they stopped to think about it for twenty seconds).  So I can see how it's an ideal place for anyone who wants to put themselves out there for the world to see.

Something else that interested me was their comment about self-esteem - I didn't realise it was about how other people see you? I thought it was how you saw yourself and felt about yourself on the inside?  Have I got that wrong?

[Meh]

Does the process of observing, picking/eliminating the American Idol and the "Survivor" also reflect something about the American Mind? The Bachelor/Bachelorette? The non-reality shows.
-Not so much game of chance feeling instead has the psychological aspect/group mentality-
To me, there is almost a twist on the idea that maybe the common man has lost touch with reality. Or that our new reality is one in which a modern person approaches a real life situation as if it is a game. That there could be a blur of what is real and what is not real.

In the past it was Jeopardy, Price is right, Wheel of fortune.--Game of chance feeling--
To me, these were obviously Games.

Could the reality shows somehow also be narcissistic somehow?? (well I just googled it and a bunch comes up about this) I don't know if they are or are not. Or maybe its a personality thing. I take something like the romantic shows and then they are entertaining to watch but also it's weird to watch. There was one where a jewish mother in law was horrible to all of the bachelors potential wives-to-be. I can't remember the name of the show.

There is something about being witness to people treating other people badly?
Maybe it is voyeurism and not Narcissism.
Well I just read in the article after this that Narcissism isn't just being confident it is also their need to put other people down.

I mean are we supposed to be shocked or are we supposed to get enjoyment out of it?

There was something about the ancient gladiator games where the slaves were forced to fight to the death in a stadium--I read that it was a population psychology tactic by the rulers to prevent the common people from revolting. So the thirst for blood was quenched in sport.

Has nothing to do with facebook. Just that facebook is this social trend where everybodys business is everybody elses business and people are acting without social graces--kind of reminds me of TV programs. I wonder if the reality shows have a fake intimacy aspect. The romantic partners cry when they are dumped or jilted, the survivors have their emotional ups and downs video taped. It's not like Wheel of Fortune.

It's like people are more socially exposed and there is a claim that things like facebook connect people.

Some people almost need facebook and iphones as a prerequisite to friendship?

I've met some people, I think they are most comfortable if facebook or text is the main structure and channel for the friendship. Almost like a relationship without text and facebook just isnt the same for them.

I just read this, he draws a line between social Narcissism and pathological Narcissism

http://www.dailynebraskan.com/news/study-shows-narcissistic-applicants-are-more-successful-in-job-interviews-1.2729236

Don't all presidential candidates have to be pretty strong on the Nar side--I think so otherwise the weight of responsibility could be too much to handle? Being a Narcissist as a president/politician probably psychologically buffers them against reality a bit. So no matter how things turn out --it's always rosey on them--and that does sound like politics.