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I love you but I don't like you

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Meh:
"I love you but I don't like you" is what a Narcissist says or it's the message they send according to something I read.
It resonates with me.

KayZee:
Blerg.  My mother used to say this to me all the time when I was growing up.

I suppose it's one of the reasons why I used to (and sometimes still do) fear intimacy.  When someone tells me "I love you," I mentally substitute in "I don't like you."  It's like in my inner child's mind, the two sentiments are interchangeable and the closer someone comes the more likely they are to hurt me.

Other NM favorites were: "You're so ridiculous, but I love you!;" "You're crazier than a loon, but I love you!;" "You suck.  Just kidding! You know I love you." The list of horrendous mixed message-y bullsh*t goes on.

I suppose maybe when the N says "I love you, but I don't like you" he or she is being emotionally honest?  Like, they're acknowledging "I love the way you make me feel when you're performing the way I want you to, but I don't like you, in specific (I don't know enough about you for that or care to find out)?  I don't know. I hate Ns. I'm feeling so fed up.

sKePTiKal:
I could honestly say that about my daughter A.
I don't think that makes me N, though.

An N simply wouldn't know what loving another person feels like - and has no frame of reference for loving anyone except him or herself. In fact, most of an N's pain comes from finally grasping that it's not possible to make everyone in the world love him/her to that degree.

Hmmmm. Food for thought.

Twoapenny:
My mum made it clear she didn't like me or love me so at least there was less room for confusion :)

gratitude28:
My NM says she loves me. But I don't think she does. I think she has put all of her self-loathing into me. She sees me as a "slut" and "weird" and "thinking I am perfect." So odd this combination...
I think I also had no clue what caring or love was. For the longest time I thought it was sexual attraction.
It's funny - she idolizes my sister. One day I asked my sister if she didn't think the E-Mail jokes NM sends are creepy and vulgur. Turns out she only sends the vulgur ones to me. Also, she gave me a book once she thought I'd like to read - it was full of sex scenes. Nice, eh? I have been happily and faithfully married for 19 years. Yes, I had sex in college. No, not more than the average person, in spite of my confusion.
Ugh!

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