Author Topic: work vent  (Read 5233 times)

Hopalong

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Re: work vent
« Reply #15 on: July 27, 2012, 11:03:13 PM »
You have nabbed, nailed, and named Nboss, Lighter, in every respect.

(I told all 3 of my colleagues, in detail, what I object to--the "paid more guy" and the 2 young ones. The 2 young ones agreed completely,
and paid-more guy, company man to his toenails, evaded offering a brave opinion but made it clear he understood my point.) He takes "NVC" to such a namby pamby extreme.

Nboss may have a minor rebellion on his hands if he tries to implement his gestalt game, but at least everybody's forewarned.

I will do an Erin. Say something that sounds good, make some cooperative noises, and keep my emotional distance.
Hopefully he'll forget about it by the time we get back from a week out of town (big trade show). I've set him up
with a few industry media opportunities, and he's so excited about THAT N-attention he's diverted for now.

Thank you all for listening and reacting, helped me shake off the Yucks.

I am flying off Sunday. No interest in the town whatsoever and I've got a sore throat. And have to answer questions all day.
I am imagining being pleasant during 10-hour workdays, then crawling into my hotel room and HBO.

Will have laptop so will check in!

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: work vent
« Reply #16 on: July 28, 2012, 10:10:39 AM »
Hops - you found the one way I would've suggested to deal with the situation, on your own. Distract him - give him some other bright, shiny, N-ish thing to sink his teeth into. I'll keep my fingers crossed this works!!

WOW... Lighter's take is dead-on, isn't it? It still doesn't take away the yuck-factor for me though. And I had a bad experience with Gestalt techniques... let's just say I don't feel it's consistent with the recognition and respect of healthy boundaries. I would, if Nboss won't relent or forget about this idea... beg off, conscientiously object to the exercise on the grounds that it would undo all the progress you've made working on your own personal boundaries.

If he doesn't buy that - take him a note from your T.

OH... and if he questions why you see a T: a.) it's none of his business and b.) if he's so curious, perhaps he should see one himself. Tell him there are a lot of common misperceptions about what goes on... but that in reality, it's like an emotional high colonic - a detoxing technique. (HA! Bait the hook... play it in the water... and just maybe...)
« Last Edit: July 28, 2012, 10:13:36 AM by PhoenixRising »
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Hopalong

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Re: work vent
« Reply #17 on: July 28, 2012, 10:04:03 PM »
Thanks, PR. It's really a cyclical thing. I think he will persist in one way or another, anything to have employees jump through a lot of hoops (with him watching but doing no risking himself)...so he can sidestep accountability or confrontation (therapeutic or otherwise) with himself. I remember when he made all the senior staff do the Meyers Briggs and stand up and explain their personalities in detail to the entire company. I looked at him and chirpily asked, When will you be presenting yours? He immediately started mumbling, oh I don't think it's that great a tool, I prefer the Eneagram, and changed the subject. Busted. So...again, OTHERS had to be vulnerable, not the guru.

He does get diverted when I make thiNgs happen for him that he craves, that he can't arrange/attract on his own. Likewise when I edit his leaden stuff into more personable prose...which he sends everywhere. He actually asked me to co-write a book with him once. I made a series of dumb excuses and went back to myself thinking, I'd shoot myself first! Can't imagine a more draining, horrible use of ... this.

Anyhow, I really don't think he'll pursue it much, when he gets general pushback. If he does, no, I won't refuse (and thus be "the one who wouldn't play on the team"). But I can defuse it for myself in other ways (mediating during, take a Valium before, memorize a few deep-sounding observations, speak French, whatever). I'll be okay.

I never ever have or would share with him that I personally see a T. Yoicks. Way too inviting of more invasions. He just asked me if I know of anyone in the community, since he lives way out of town and I'm a multi-decades resident connected to people in town/church/volunteer orgs, etc. He knows I'm interested in/respect the language/systems of pychology. That's all. I told him I asked a knowledgeable friend for suggestions and he didn't pry who/where/why.

It ain't going to happen anyway, though perhaps he'll persuade ProdMan to go. I dunno. It would be amazing if he went himself.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: work vent
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2012, 06:43:00 AM »
Oh lord... he's into Enneagram types? Deja vu... bet you $10 he knows my ex#2.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: work vent
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2012, 10:02:36 AM »
Hops:

I'm glad to read you're feeling more centered, and less yuck.

Your plan to deal with NBoss intrusion sounds squared away, IMO.

Sorry your throat hurts at such a busy, pressured time, but you'll snug into your clean hotel bed, and heal when you can.

I wonder if the sore throat is an allergy thing?  Maybe try some Allovert..... that always delivers immediage allergy relief, if it's that, or signals something else if it doesn't help.

Do I dare suggest......

the dreaded netty pot?

Heyyyyy.... it could be more than a very funny story for the board.

It might actually help; )

Lighter




Redhead Erin

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Re: work vent
« Reply #20 on: August 11, 2012, 12:19:30 PM »
Whaever happened, Hops? I have a work-horror story about my hubs, and how he might not get paid for 2 weeks, but I dont want to hijack you t thread.

Hopalong

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Re: work vent
« Reply #21 on: August 11, 2012, 10:53:17 PM »
You won't, Erin!
I LIKE IT when a thread I start wanders into other folks' lives too.

(My week went grinding on, nothing too terrible happened, and a classic company meeting ended it with Nboss leading us all in yoga stretches--not voluntary of course--which gave him an opportunity to go around touching everybody and making little 'corrections'...bleaaaahhhhh. But it's okay for now.)

What happened with your hub?

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Twoapenny

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Re: work vent
« Reply #22 on: August 12, 2012, 01:54:52 AM »
Hops your boss sounds just weird!  Touching people and yoga stretches?  Oh my God!?  Sending anti weirdo vibes your way! ((((((Hops)))))))