Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Update from.....Izzy
Hopalong:
Wow. Tupp. Your 2nd paragraph.
You are a wise wise observant woman.
Izz, I'm so sorry they are so...unable. To be supportive.
It all makes me think about how important it is to be a good listener. To be able to just "be present" with another person's distress. It's a quality I can haul out now and then but often fail at. I'm usually the flailing distressed one.
But I want to be like THAT. Centered. Compassionate. Able to hear and reflect without "fixing."
(So kindly everybody forgive the floods of advice...which will probably continue. Or at least let me know if I don't HEAR you, first. I think it's okay to advise, sometimes...but to stop, listen and first hear and reflect how it must be feeling for that person. Before rushing in with a big bucket full of suggestions.)
Oh but I like filling my buckets, hanging them on doorknobs, sneaking them into yards, passing them out on the street...sheesh.
xxoo
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on November 17, 2012, 10:06:11 AM ---Wow. Tupp. Your 2nd paragraph.
You are a wise wise observant woman.
Izz, I'm so sorry they are so...unable. To be supportive.
It all makes me think about how important it is to be a good listener. To be able to just "be present" with another person's distress. It's a quality I can haul out now and then but often fail at. I'm usually the flailing distressed one.
But I want to be like THAT. Centered. Compassionate. Able to hear and reflect without "fixing."
(So kindly everybody forgive the floods of advice...which will probably continue. Or at least let me know if I don't HEAR you, first. I think it's okay to advise, sometimes...but to stop, listen and first hear and reflect how it must be feeling for that person. Before rushing in with a big bucket full of suggestions.)
Oh but I like filling my buckets, hanging them on doorknobs, sneaking them into yards, passing them out on the street...sheesh.
xxoo
Hops
--- End quote ---
Hopsie your advice has always been spot on where I'm concerned so keep it coming :) xxx
Izzy_*now*:
Ya Tupp,
Thanks loads.
--- Quote ---I've come to the conclusion that it stems from people who are unable to just be supportive - to offer sympathy, understanding, to simply offer their condolences or good wishes for better things in the future. People who aren't comfortable with feelings and emotions and who blame others for the problems that they experience - perhaps so they don't have to offer support in any way if they can tell themselves it's the fault of the person experiencing the problem and if they changed themselves the problem would disappear.
--- End quote ---
I agree. I felt that all along, but never put it into words. Now I think you ought to win a prize for saying that so concisely!! and, Hops, you love it too! Great! And, I'll be watching for a bucket lady on my street.
Tupp, I can imagine you, with your son, and then someone telling you what to do.
I like the saying that in a true friendship it is wonderful to understand and to be understood.
Thanks you two!
Izzy♥♥♥♥♥
Izzy_*now*:
Edit--this is old news as they are back to the drawing board, because I'm not having a nap on a bench in Vancouver Airport!
Can you believe that the latest is that I leave here about 6:00 am., taxi to airport one hour in advance, first on, last off, fly to Vancouver, then Taxi to New Westminster for an all day Examination, taxi back to Vancouver, fly back, first on, last off and take a taxi from the airport to home, arriving about 8:00 pm. 14 hours?
That is just a guess at this point but the Insurance Company rep, the Defence council, is doing battle with me and my mind! NO ONE tells me what to do, but in this case, I suppose I must comply, and I will definitely Journal the trip.
I hate this, but I need a better word/phrase than 'hate' or 'driving me nuts', ..... | am guessing this is the only way to spy on me since I so seldom go out, yet I've had paranoid feelings since the overdrugging at the 1st surgery. I have to appear normal, which I am, but yet I am paranoid...OMG!... I AM nuts!
I will be away from my home, only one day allowed, from 6:00 a.m. until back at 8:00 p.m. (approximate times) 14 hours and I always think of that commercial with the handsome man on the bus, when the question is asked, "Where will YOU be when YOUR laxative works?"
I fear this will put me into panic situation when it all comes about, even with Karla near to me, while the both of us watch for spies.
I will journal and wet my Depends on purpose. After all, don't men put on Depends so they dont have to move during the final football game. I learned it from TV!!!
..just an interim note while the legal Eagles squabble, and while they do, I could likely drive there and back...HuuMPPHH!
Nothing definite! I expressed my feelings on a one day trip..................... flying, plus swollen feet and legs come hand in hand!
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!
Izzy
Disclaimer: The writer is not responsible for any of the nonsense just spewed. It was in the paroxysm of tremors that it was done.
Izzy_*now*:
Forget previous gripe (for now, except for the memory.....fade.........)
Suddenly Defence has found a 2-hour slot for me with a Physiatrist for November 30, locally, ½ hour drive away!
Imagine!
Magic!
Iz
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