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BonesMS:
((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))

lighter:
Tupp:

You sound so spot on right now......

so hooked into your reality, and fixing patterns that need attention.

It's OK to be human and talk about it with friends.... so glad that mother offered to help.  Accept that help, and know it's good. 

It's OK to not always be stoic........  I think it makes us easier to know, and engage with frankly.

Adding a piece to your self care ritual will give you more energy to care for your son..... a very wise investment. 

::nodding::

Lighter

gratitude28:
That's very unkind. You are taking it well because you have become healthy and understand that it's not you - it's them! You are so thoughtful to plan for your step brother. Please give yourself a ginormous hug from me and kudos on being such a good person. May you have a wonderful holiday season knowing that you are living as you should.
xxxxxoooooo

Twoapenny:
Bones, you are an A* hugger, I think you should get a certificate or something :)  Thank you :)

Lighter and Gratitude, thank you for your support and words of encouragement, it is greatly appreciated.

There has been some communication between my sister and myself, it isn't perfect but it's a step in the right direction so I am glad that I have said what I did and that it seems to be moving in a more positive way than I thought it was :)  I also went to the medical assessment with my son today which was horrible but the other mum came along with me and she was very supportive so I appreciated that a lot and am glad she was there.  A couple of things I've noticed as I've thought about all of this over the last couple of weeks are that:

1  I rarely, if ever, admit to any kind of negativitity in my life - being tired, worried, scared, not coping etc - because in my family any weakness was used against you and I was generally expected to cope without complain regardless of how difficult anything was.  It was very much a Stepford Wife approach - smile, look shiny, keep the house tidy and nothing else matters (or is allowed).  So another new thing to practise; understanding not everyone is like that and some people accept problems as part of life and will help you with them instead of using them to batter you more!

2  I've tended to develop very intense friendships with one person in the past and then rely on them for everything - a replacement mother, presumably.  Invariably those relationships dissolve eventually and I'm left very alone until I make a new 'best friend' and then I do the same thing again.  Now that I've realised I do that I want to try and create a network of people I enjoy spending time with and try to spend roughly equal amounts of time with each, so that I don't fall into that 'you are the only person in my world' thing again.  Not healthy!  So yes, feeling better and I think moving in the right direction.  Sometimes I think perhaps just putting it out there helps, you know, just making a decision to change even if you're not entirely sure how to?

Thank you all for your help and support, it really means a lot to me.  Tupp xx

lighter:
Tupp:

I think it's difficult to learn how to receive if one's role has always been giver/teacher/helper relationships.

You pay attention to how admired healthier people navigate relationships..... you learn to recieve AND give. 

You learn to put boundaries in place, and to defend them gently, but consistenly......

enforcing boundaries doesn't require anger, or drama, thank goodness.

Balance is good: )

Lighter

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