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Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!

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JustKathy:
Thanks so much Fraidy. I am going to look into getting a camera so I can see anyone who is out front without having to look out the window. At this point it appears that he WILL be back, so I'm going to take all precautionary measures necessary.

Since the day that Christmas package was delivered, I've had a sinking feeling that Co-F would ramp up his efforts, now having seen my car and having a visual confirmation that I'm here. I was right. Yesterday I got a two page later telling me that my mother's cancer has spread to her brain, that she is in unbearable pain, and that death is imminent. The doctor gives her about three more months. WAIT! That's a better prognosis than the four weeks she was given back in 2009. Good grief, get your story straight. He also whines about how he knows he won't be able to care for himself after NM is gone and will need elder care. So I HAVE to call him right away.

Worth noting, the letter came with no return address on it, probably to prevent me from doing what I did the last time .... marking it "return to sender."

In the two pages of rambling, everything was about him. If he had written something like, "I know I did some things to hurt you, and I'm very sorry," I probably would have called him. Truth is, he isn't the least bit sorry. In his mind, I was a bad girl who needed to be punished. From the time I got the belt for wetting the bed at age six, to being disinherited at 50, I was bad and simply needed to be punished. What's the big deal? Kathy is "the bad seed." NM says so, and it pleased her to see me punished. The Queen must be pleased.

Not surprisingly, this is how I knew it would end for him. The one child with the financial means and the love in her heart to care for her father in his elder years was thrown under the bus, while he spent all of his time and money making sure that his son, the GC, wanted for nothing. Now his precious son no longer returns his calls. Hey, why should he? The ungrateful brat already has (and has already spent) most of his inheritance. He is also secure in the knowledge that he'll be inheriting their one remaining asset, a paid-off house. No matter what, Co-F will never change the will, so my brother is guaranteed that final payout regardless of whether or not he ever calls them again. I suspect one of the reasons Co-F is putting the pressure on me is that he HAS to have the children at my mother's "death bed" for appearances, and my brother isn't responding. I doubt he has any intention of ever showing his face again. He only wanted their money, he got it, and now he's done with them.

Is my father that insensitive/clueless/stupid that he actually thought he could abuse and torment me all my life, remove me from the will out of spite, and then expect me to take him in and give him elder care at my expense, because the GC now has all his money?

Sheesh. What goes around comes around. Die alone. Yes that sounds cruel, but I simply can't care anymore.

fraidycat:
Sorry they are putting you through this Kathy. Typical n-move..push people out with abuse than try to draw them back in with guilt and shame when they need something, usually a meaningless family show to keep appearances up. Your not being cruel at all Kathy, protecting yourself is the right thing to do. In my experience they hate more than anything to be ignored and can be relentless but since you aren't giving in I'm sure they will give up and walk away once they realize it's not going to work this time. I really think N's mistake kindness for weakness. Hang in there!

JustKathy:
Unfortunately, they'll never give up. The more I try to be NC, the more they stalk me and do whatever they can to get to me. The only thing that will stop this is if my NM really does die. My father is nothing but her puppet, and once the puppet master is gone, he will be lost. Everything he does, he does on her instructions. If she dies, I expect he'll continue to send guilt letters, but the more hard core stalking will end. I hope.

BonesMS:
((((((((((((((((((((((((JustKathy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hopalong:
Hi Kathy,
I'm thinking the fear and hatred is poisoning you, so I'm trying to imagine some
RELEASING ritual that will give you some well-deserved peace.

It is so hard, once those triggers get their hooks into your psyche.

What you're going through reminds me of how hyper-sensitive I used to feel
to every single gesture from my Nmom (and she was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less
threatening than yours) -- and also how I feel right now about Nboss.

I'm really sorry you're going through these feelings. Trust that they are
feelings, and like weather, they'll ease their grip.

love to you,
Hops

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